Child on child in need plan

[Kyrenias]

im married with a son we have a mortgage child is on child in need plan
They said I had to move out of family home otherwise would raise to child protection-my name is on the lease I gave up drinking completely and they said I can see him four hours at the weekend currently living separately but so want to be family again just wondered if anyone had experience of this and how long it would take me to get back to the family home my husband and son want me to return I think they may do it gradually doing everything I possibly can to work on myself and attend aa and not drink any advice appreciated

How long have you been living separately? The CIN plan should state the goals and time frame. I’m afraid these things take time and nothing will happen overnight. I expect it will be around 6 months before you can move back in.

I've been out of the family home 5 weeks now -seems like forever social worker said I can move back when he thinks I'm better -he didn't say why I had to leave -he told my son I can move back when I'm better not sure how they will gauge this been doing breathiliser tests at alchol services -and working on myself -do you think there is a chance they might shorten it if they see rapid improvement ? Alchol services said the quicker I work on myself the quicker I should be able to go back-so worried about money got to get a job before I go bankcrupt

Cn I ask you why I have been asked to leave on a child in need plan what are the reasons for this

Ex alcohol services senior manager so can comment from that point

We were 90% if the time asked to report and attend meetings. Yes alcohol free breathalysers readings were important but often we would be asked to comment on general recovery. Attendance at appointments , therapeutic changes and group work

We would not advise return but we would comment on progress , just turning up and being alcohol free would rarely be enough most of ours would need to complete at least one group course before they would consider it

A large part would be our comments on how the client saw things...if they were clearly coasting and not doing permanent therapeutic activities to change then it was unlikely for them to suggest return

It would usually take a lot longer than 5 weeks and yes 6 months was about right , for it to be much shorter the client would have to be massively making changes and doing every possible activity to work on themselves

I have seen it happen (one client went back in 3 months) but it was rare

I don't mean to put you off but your focus absolutely needs to be on recovery or the risk of relapse is huge

Are you attending groups? Meetings etc?

Hi thanks for your response I’ve been gone 3and a half months now I had a relapse but am going completely sober now have been attending alchol services once a week and going aa off my own back they haven’t increased access yet as I guess because I relapsed I’m so praying I can get back in time for Christmas now as stopping completely but it is twenty weeks to go. They basically said I had to leave otherwise would raise to child protection- so if I move back in it needs to be on child on need so am working on myself so miss home

Planning every day helps filling time got to really focus on my recovery

Getting backonmyfeet do you think there is a chance I can get back by Christmas as have completely stopped

Good luck OP

Honestly yes but it will depend on what you do between now and then

Christmas seems realistic as a time frame but you do need to show real change

I'm sorry because you won't want to hear this ,getting sober is fantastic ....please hear that ...its the hardest thing in the world and it's amazing you've done it

But ...real recovery is so so much more....find some group programmes , not just the rooms (as good as they are ...them alone and a weekly alcohol appointment will not necessarily prove you have achieved recovery)

Your alcohol worker should know where the group programmes are and refer you ,it takes some real welly and going above and beyond to get your life back.

You have made an amazing step....now 2build on it and remember ...you did not wake up and decide to become an addict....you need to look at why ? What led you on that path, plus have some solid relapse prevention strategies

You are doing amazingly well but if you take the advice on board you will be able to do this

I don't often do this but if you want to dm me your rough area I can have a look what's in the area and point you in the right direction (no obligation you don't have to and I'm not wierd I promise )

Thanks so much for your responses much appreciated I’ve almost done a week after my relapse re-started on the 25 July will see every month as a month closer to Christmas I’m going to the rooms and wdp I’m based in Harrow doing loads of aa meetings and attending wdp which are really helpful feels like it will take forever though I find birthdays and celebrations as a family we share hard when we’re not together so hope I can get back for Christmas to see my son open his presents on Christmas Day would mean the world to me

Replacing the alchol with sweets helps and just plan every day so hope the time goes quickly now if I’m tempted I’ll talk to my family or aa members I need to do everything I can to stay sober

Hi getting backonmyfeet need your advice I’ve done six weeks and aa said I should be able to get home before Christmas but how would they know this Hubbie belittled my six weeks and said they are nothing to do with our case it’s up to social worker and him I now feel I’ve got my hopes up for nothing and I’ll never get back

Hi all I’ve done two months sobriety but no changes have yet been made I’m hanging in there hoping to get home for Christmas

I don’t have any insights but well done on your two months sobriety, I hope you have another good day today and the week goes smoothly.

Thanks it’s hard not knowing how long it’s gonna take everyone says different things aa said I should be able to get home for Christmas but then everyone says they wouldn’t know I’m not sure who to believe

I got liver tests back and they are really good so that is a relief

You're doing really good work- keep at it, and be strong.

Thanks :-)