Social Services Worry

[AngelDust77]

Hi im new here and didnt really know where to turn or who to speak too.
will try to keep it short. i have 2 daughters aged 12 and 7 and they belonged to a dance company and the past few weeks they have been unhappy there and my eldest became very emotional every time it was time to get ready and leave to go,yesterday she finally revealed she was being bullied at dance and the teacher was also being none too nice to her,needless to say we pulled them from the company and they will not be returning there. We tried to be civil to the teacher and explain our concerns etc but we were met with a barrage of abuse from her and in her final message she has said she is going to report us to a child welfare officer and social services,she said she has "major" concerns about my eldest weight,height,emotional state and her welfare, and said she had concerns of the welfare of my youngest. My eldest has been diagnosed with delayed pubity (which the dance teacher was aware of) and is under the care of the hospital with regular appointments and blood tests etc and is slowly gaining height and weight although she was never underweight but has been an athlete since she was 6.
Our home is clean,plenty of food,so much love etc and the "emotional" and "anxiety" they speak about is just when they were at dance which is now understandable and both girls are absolutly fine at home and school,very bright,happy,healthy girls but the threat of social services has left me absolutly terrified,dont know what to do or when to expect them. My husband thinks they are just saying this to scare us and is 100% working, she was more annoyed that they will be losing a large finacial chunk from us each month as it costs just over £300 a month just for the training fees and thats without all competition fees,costumes etc so now she wont be getting that from us which has annoyed her. I am just so scared that social will arrive any day or worse take the girls from their schools. I have only ever had dealings with social once 3 years ago after a neighbour was arrested for child abuse and they wanted to make sure my girls were safe as we lived next door and nothing had happened to them which thankfully it hadnt and after a couple of weeks we never heard from them again. So sorry for the long message but im just so scared im going to lose my girls . Any advice greatly welcomed. Thank you

Save the text messages. She can report to social services - they may follow up, as they are duty bound to do, but it doesn’t sound like there was anything to report at all. Apart from maybe this dance teacher - doesn’t sound like she should teaching

Are your girls underweight due to a desire to stay thin for ballet?

I’m reading between the lines here but I think the question is important

Surely if the weight was a concern that way the hospital would have already flagged? Sounds like they’ve assessed this already

No,my youngest has a very healthy weight-no concerns at all. My eldest has always been tiny,she was a very small baby and by aged 3 she was a gymnast so has always been athletic,she was diagnosed with delayed pubity a few months ago but the consultant did say this is very comman amongest athlets,she is not underweight at all just not very tall. she has regular check ups at the hospital and the doctors have no concerns at all about her height and weight. Both girls do gymnastics and dance and are very healthy.

Did you post this exact same post before? I’m sure I’ve read it.

HateSummer...i posted it on the newbie page yesterday but wasnt sure if it was being read as had no replies so thought i would post again in a more popular thread,

Take no notice of her, there's nothing to report as your dd's weight and height is already being monitored by the hospital.

She's just pissed off about the £300 a month, as well she might.

Just ignore, and if ss get in touch, which I highly doubt, you can show them the hospital letters.

If I was a dance teacher and I was worried about the size- physique of my pupils. I would report this too.

It is worrying that the girls are deemed underweight and are dancers and the teacher has worries. This combined with the child’s anxiety around going to dancing is scary!

My own children have done gymnastics and it really doesn’t affect them to any extent

SS will of course look into the concerns raised but like you say if they aren’t true then they will do nothing

Oh I see..I remember writing out a reply and then got distracted and lost it.

I would save all the abusive messages and screenshot them incase anything does happen. I doubt ss will be interested though, she sounds crazy. You have nothing to worry about

If she genuinely had concerns then she would have done the right thing and spoke to you about them rather than do nothing and then throw them at you in a fit of rage because you took your girls away from her club. If she didn’t approach you with her concerns that tells you all you need to know about the type of dance teacher she is.

As people have previously said they are duty bound to report issues but you are also duty bound to report bullying to any organisation the teacher belongs too (including PVG scheme etc).

Someone (dickhead of a neighbour) accused hubby of abuse and SS came with our HV and we had a police officer on standby who had our reports of abuse by that neighbour - neighbour was charged.

Your kids are loved and no issues health wise that isn't already being monitored, school is fine as is home life so sounds like this dance teacher has intimidated you badly and you should report her.

Take a deep breath and nothing is going to happen.

SS are not going to snatch your children from their homes or schools. Also highly unlikely they will turn up unannounced.

Despite the scaremongering their primary aim is to offer support to families that need it so that they can stay together. Removal of children is rare and only happens when a court orders it. Sounds like your children are well cared for so you have nothing to worry about. x

I wouldn’t worry.

I work alongside social workers.

It always amazes me that the general public seem to view social services as an infinitely-resourced child catching bogeyman!

The reality is that that things need to be really bad for social services to do much - they’re under-resourced and deal with cases of significant need. So a spurious malicious contact from a random won’t lead to much of anything. Just relax and see what happens.