New born weight gain

[El1995]

Okay long story short my ds has had feeding issues since birth (3weeks ago). Due to some birth problems he struggled to bottlefeed let alone breast feed.(he has a poor suck and his tongue is always at the roof of his mouth and quite far back). He lost an entire pound in 4 days after he was born and we really struggled to get him to put the weight back on. Fast forward 3 weeks, I finally manged to get him to take the whole bottle (it can take up to 1-1.5hours though eugh!). I had a hv round last week to weigh him and he was back to Birth weight, however today he was weighed and only put on 4oz (apparently they expect 8 in a week). I've tried countless times to get support with his feeding and have been just about palmed off by everyone I've seemed help from. He thrashes at the bottle, strains and cries, I dread feeding time. We were in hospital for 2weeks and got zero help there aswell. Trying to get the hv to listen to me was about as useful as talking to a brick wall. She wants me to wake him every 3 hours instead of the 3.5-4 hours I've been letting him go to to put weight on. Now I'd be fine with this if he didn't take 1.5 hours to take a feed. That leaves me (and him) and hour and a half between each feed to somehow sleep and do housework etc. It's not feasible. I'm really struggling as noone is helping me get to the bottom of why it takes him so long and also the pain he's in trying to Feed, poor little lad. Burping doesn't work and I've tried dentinox which is also not really helping. I feel absolutely exhausted and useless. My partner is back at work and can't really help me out and I'm worried sick about my baby. Although he's put on weight, apparently it's not a sufficient amount. But surely every baby is different? Considering he lost an entire pound and has managed to gain it all back plus a bit Extra is surely a positive? I'm just at a loose end really. I feel really let down by the system, I feel myself getting frustrated at feeding times as i don't know how the hell I can get the milk in to him to gain sufficient weight when no one is supporting me 😣 please tell me it gets better. Did anyone else have this with their newborn?

Sorry to hear you’re going through this.

What you’ve mentioned about his tongue makes me wonder if he might have an undiagnosed tongue tie?

DD is BF and we had issues with a painful latch at the start. I noticed a tie early on but no-one else had picked it up.

I went to the baby cafe and one of the Lactation consultants did a full assessment and established there was a tie but good tongue mobility so asked me to see how it went on before cutting it. It improved and she gained weight well so I didn’t pursue it any further.

The Lactation consultant was brilliant but in my experience HV and midwives etc don’t have the necessary skills to troubleshoot feeding issues like the specialists do.

Is there a bottle feeding cafe that you can drop into to have his feeding assessed? Your HV should have given you some information - mine was run by Locala. If not then contact your HV and ask for the details.

Has he been checked for a tongue tie? You sound like yore doing a fab job, well done!

This sounds awful for you.

Some babies do gain slower than others, but the HV generally want them to stay along their centile lines. Is he still dropping down the chart? I would listen to the HV if they still think there is a cause for concern.

My DD was a slow breastfeeder that despite getting support, ultimately led to a switch to bottle feeding by four months because I couldn't take the frustration of being pinned to the sofa any longer. So I can relate to the slow eating. I second the advice to see a lactation consultant for tongue tie. DD was found to have one at 2 months despite seeing HV/midwives. Despite your partner being back at work he can still be helping with the night feeding until it gets easier, it's not a feasible long term for you to do it all and looking after a newborn all day is like a full time job, it's hardly a walk in the park!

Have you tried different bottles/teats? The fussiness could be frustration or wind. We've been through four different types before settling on one DD seemed happy with. It's an expensive process but might be worth it of it helps. I found MAM ones were quite easy for DD to get the milk out but Dr Browns better for wind.

On the other hand the fussiness, slow weight gain & slow eating could be more of a medical problem, like reflux or CMPA. I've no experience of those but a trip (or several!) to your GP might be the way to go. In my experience the only thing you can do is persist, I've found my GP to be better support than the HV for feeding problems.

I can totally relate as my first DC was also an awful feeder and I found it stressful. What you describe sounds very similar to my DC and it turned out to be a tongue tie plus silent reflux. The silent bit means they are in pain from acid reflux, but they aren't sick as they would be with normal reflux. The thrashing and crying while feeding are key signs of silent reflux and also a tongue tie, as they get frustrated from finding it hard to feed and also gulping in air gives them bad wind.

I would def recommend a visit to your GP. My HVs/midwives/lactation consultant were useless and it was my GP who instantly diagnosed what was wrong. We had the tongue tie cut (not as dramatic as it sounds) and got DC put on ranitidine which worked wonders for the reflux. It took until about 6 months, but it did calm down and no problems now. Even if it's not tongue tie/reflux a trip to your GP will hopefully help sort out what the problem is.

Sorry OP, didn't mean to worry you by saying it took until 6 months to calm down! What I should have said was the tongue tie being cut and medication helped within a couple of weeks for easier feeds, but DC wasn't a great feeder until six months when we started weaning. x

Similar with my lo who is 12 weeks - it's so stressful isn't it when there's no support or answers. I second that it sounds like reflux, getting the right meds can really help though we are still working on this. Cows milk protein allergy might be something else to consider, I am bfing and have gone dairy free to see if this helps.

Update I ended up getting so desperate that I went to my GP for an emergency appointment who have then put us both back in hospital. It got to the point where I was so sleep deprived and frustrated that I really wasn't coping at home. After four weeks of crying out for help I 'think' they're finally putting a plan in place. He's on meds at the mo incase it is silent reflux causing him discomfort. He might also have his formula changed to something of a higher nutritional content so he gets what he needs without having to work too hard. Changing his bottle to a medela haberman bottle for cleft palate babies aswell. Long story short he can't form the seal around the bottle to suck properly as he has a receded jaw and small tongue. We've been using Dr browns preemie bottle as they seemed to be the only ones that he could suck on without drowning himself in milk. He also has to suck the bottle with his bottom lip in as he can't get the grip when it's around the bottle. Where his tongue also sticks to the roof of his mouth, it's been a battle and a half trying to get it down. Health specialists didn't even notice it was up when he was feeding for 2 weeks , hence his lack of milk eugh! He was checked 3 times again today and yesterday but apparently doesn't have tongue tie, just a small far back tongue. @emu31* yes it's awful. How did you deal with lack of support and knowledge? There doesn't seem to be any feeding specialists with answers. They were quick to say what was wrong with ds but offered me no long term solutions for his feeding. They were also very quick to just tube feed in hospital, despite him not needing it, just needing specialist advice. I feel like I can't enjoy my baby 😥

Oh you poor thing it sounds awful, so sorry you're not getting support at the hospital. I hope the feeding plan helps and that you see improvement with the reflux meds. What are his poos like? Does he have any skin issues?
To be honest rather like you I've just struggled on with lack of sleep and 24/7 feeding - all I can do really as feeding issues don't seem to be taken seriously. Just keep being told to go to a breast feeding group which is maddening. It's the psychological impact on us that's so very tough. It will get better as your lo gets bigger and stronger, you are going through the worst of it now. Sending you a hand hold x

You've had a rough start but hopefully things will get better now. Can't believe no-one had noticed these issues before your GP. I can understand you feeling let down. Don't be afraid to speak up if anything isn't clear or the plan isn't working. You knew something wasn't right and have been proven correct, so just keep pushing for answers until a solution is found.

My DC also had high energy milk until he was 18 months. He's still small now, but perfectly healthy. It will get easier and you will enjoy your baby. x