Hello everyone,
I'm looking for advice or best experiences on what you do/have done when your child is having an 'exchange' with your SO. Do you intervene? Do you let your SO deal with it until he/she asks for help?
I'll give you the specific situation (sorry if it seems petty!):
I was cooking in the kitchen with my 11 week old and toddler. SO came home with my 5 year old. I hand the baby over to my SO to finish up cooking and my 5 year old asks to see the baby (he is a very doting older brother and very affectionate - SO is stood up) just as baby has started to cry. SO says no (for no reason other than he's trying to calm the baby down). All of a sudden, SO shouts 'what are you doing?' I turn round to see what's going on and SO shouts 'you just jumped up and tried to grab the baby's head' to which my 5 year old says 'no I didn't, I was just trying to touch him'.
Argument ensues - mainly with SO shouting and 5 yr old saying no I didn't. I walk over and say 'stop shouting' to everyone as by this time everyone including my toddler is shouting and I take the baby who is now fully crying so that SO and 5 yr old can resolve their differences.
Knowing my husband and son, my son will have ignored my husband when he said no you can't touch the baby and tried to jump up to touch him with his hand. My SO will have exaggerated the situation by claiming that 5 yr old was trying to grab.
ANYWAY my SO then gets annoyed with me for not taking his side.
Sorry for the waffle!
SO was annoyed because he felt I didn't back him up and that I took my son's side when he was telling our son off. I said I didn't intervene because I didn't see what had initially happened and that I hadn't taken anyone's side, and I assumed he would ask me if he wanted me to wade in.
Thoughts? What would you have done? Should I have intervened more? Is my husband right, did I not 'back him up?'
Sorry everyone, I know it's a ridiculous argument but we have no family or close friends nearby so sometimes little things escalate and I'm trying different things to try and manage different situations.
Thanks :)