Wedding stress.....

[Muse84]

So I'm attending a wedding in August

Ds1 will be 8 months by that point, and not invited (absolutely understandable, I'm supportive of child free weddings).

When I accepted the invite pre-birth, I thought this would be an excellent excuse for a day/night away with DH. Plan is for mum to come to our house and stay with him. I'd be away for just over 24h if I rush back the morning after.

Wedding is a couple of hours away on the train (don't have car) and the venue itself is quite inaccessible (ie can't nip back and forth between venue and hotel for example)

Now it is looming, I'm wondering how on earth I'm going to manage this logistically as DS1 is EBF and refused a bottle from about 16weeks. I tried everything!

Starting to wean now but he still bfs every 3h or so during the day. He eats solids fairly well but not enough to sustain him of course. He sips water from supply cup but putting milk in here would result in him consuming maybe 5-10ml at a time.

How on earth am I going to leave him??! Putting aside the fact that I won't be able to comfort him if necessary when he wakes overnight by BFing (I do this once or twice max- he can also be shushed back to sleep but does need a night feed). This doesn't concern me AS much, if poor old mum is happy to suffer a night with no sleep, I know he won't be any the worse for it.

But even if he miraculously starts guzzling loads of milk from some kind of bottle before the event, I can't pump that much can I? Do I have to resort to formula?! Never gave him any of this before now.

And even if he drinks from bottle, mum comes with him to stay nearby venue (we'd put her up....) we can't transport and store 12h worth of breast milk so it's back to the formula thing! Which I don't know if he'd even take!

Argh! Every option to me is fraught with problems. I'm trying to be positive but I cannot see how this will work. DH is sensible and supportive, but says not to worry, it'll be fine.... But I feel as if the problem (and working out various resolutions) falls on my shoulders

One night away! That's all I ask for help....... Any thoughts?!

You're either going to have to just go for it and leave every type of milk that you can or you can't go. He might take it if you're not there, you don't know. Have you tried milk from an open cup like a doidy rather than a bottle?

Also remember to wear a dress that you can easily pump in because you're going to need to do that every couple of hours.

For me I didn't go to things like that until mine were over 12mo but that's just me. Some would decline the invite; others would say it's only one night and to just go for it. Only you can decide which way to go.

Why not consider your mum staying nearby, leaving some milk for her to try in a bottle and nipping back after the ceremony and then once it’s done.

My first wasn’t bf at that age still unfortunately but we did have a wedding about 6 hours from home. My mum wouldn’t have been able to do an overnight at that point so she came and stayed in a hotel room next to us. We left dd with her while we went to the ceremony and then came back before the reception. We did bath and put her to bed and then went back to the wedding and were back to the hotel by 10 ish. It might mean taking cabs or hiring a car, but it seems less overwhelming to have him close in case you need to get back.

That said, I have a wedding when mine will be 8 months and I’m just not going. It’s a destination wedding during term time so dh has to stay home with our older one and ds is ebf and won’t take a bottle so I can neither easily take him with me nor leave him behind. It’s poor timing but that’s just how it has to be.

I would warn friend of the situation and explain you might not be able to make it.

In the meantime August is a long way away so every day you need to try with a bottle. You might need to try a few to find one that works for you - MAM and doctor Brown I think are quite good.

Good luck!

Also, between now and then you’d be able to pump and freeze enough milk to last him more than 24 hours.

But you know if your heart is telling you it’s best to not go, don’t. My DD is 16 months and I’ve not left her overnight. No plans to either!

My daughter who is now 3 went through a stage of refusing a bottle around 4 - 5 months old. It lasted a couple of months and then I managed to slowly get her to take a bottle again. When your baby is 8 months they will have changed a lot from now. I know it doesn't seem like it now but it could be ok. I would start trying her with a bottle more often and seeing if they eventually take it.
I now have a second baby and have a wedding mid July when she will be 6 and a half months old which I am worrying about a bit. As she now won't have a bottle. We were going to stay overnight but could get a taxi back if needed. But would need to be away from about 2pm till late a night at least so still a problem. I am going to start trying to give her a bottle when I can of either breast milk or formula. I think I will need to use some formula eventually as I don't get a lot pumping so would be easier. I wouldn't worry about giving your baby some formula, but you can be stocking up on frozen breast milk if you prefer.