1 year old prefers husband

[Mumprobs11]

I know I'm probably being overly sensitive and a little bit ridiculous, but my 1 year old DD prefers her Dad, my husband, all the time. She would never choose me, infact when he's holding her and goes to give her to me, she cuddles into him and refuses to go to me and will cry if I take her.
When it's just her and I she's absolutely fine, we cuddle and play etc no problems, it's just when there's a choice she will pick him.

Maybe silly but I'm worried about the bond we have...we have had no problems and had a great mat leave, I just feel like I've gone wrong somewhere?
Has anyone got any experience of this?

Are you at home with her, does your DH travel away a lot?

In my experience this is normal behaviour around the parent they see less often. DC know they can push boundaries with you as they feel safe, but then don't with the parent they see less often e.g. if they work FT / long hours / away.

We both work full time and have 2 full days off with her each per week, I'm off at weekends and he is off on weekdays. So she sees us both the same. He is really rough and tumble with her which she loves, and I wonder if she just naturally gravitates towards the one who she gets more of that kind of play from...I don't know.

This is totally normal - children sometimes favour one parent over another and with my DS it changed every few months or so. I actually enjoyed the rest when I wasn't the favoured parent

Both of mine have had favourites which changes from time to time. It can be a bit heartbreaking but you can’t take it personally. Of course your daughter loves you. It will change, and then it will change again.

Oh really? I love the bond they have, it is truly lovely, I would just like to be privy to it some of the time.

I think this is normal. My DD (4) goes through stages of days/weeks where she only wants DH, then she switches to me for a bit. She sees me as more "important" (I'm needed when she's upset/hurt/etc), but DH is more "special" (she wants him for fun stuff). She went through a delightful stage of "I love you DD." "And I love Daddy."

It can be really hurtful, even though they don't mean it at all. It probably won't last OP, she'll get to another milestone and decide only you'll do!

My 16 month old is all about daddy when he's around - I could not exist! It does hurt sometimes but he fell over yesterday and only wanted me to comfort him. I think it's normal for them to chop and change favourites.

Enjoy the break as I guarantee you'll be the favourite at some point and she'll be clingy to you.

Normal, although it does hurt! My DS swung from me to his dad, although probably liked his dad more when he was a baby. It did sting and I remember googling what it meant. I remember once we both collected him from nursery, he ran to DH and totally ignored me. Nursery staff were like ‘aw, he loves his daddy, bless him.’ We got home and he switched to me, and wouldn’t let his dad cuddle him! Little monster. Then, sadly I had an mc and had to spend a night in hospital. I think he really missed me overnight and was very clingy to me for a long while afterwards.

He shows us both equal affection now at nearly 4, although he likes me me to do his bedtime stories.

My DC1 was the same. It's hard, but try not to take it too personally. Now she's about 8, she switches allegiance frequently. When I had DC2 , their bond grew even stronger as they spent a lot of time together. DC2 has always favoured me but we make a conscious effort now to make sure we each have 1-1 time with both children as I think it can be easy to get into the habit of spending more time with the child that favours you.

Thank you all for the reassurance, glad to know it's normal. But you're all right, it definitely does sting a little :( my husband doesn't really understand it either. Will try and enjoy the break