What do I tell my children?

[ragmayo]

Not sure if this is where I should post so apologies if not.
Our cat has been missing 5 days. Am going to view a body tomorrow and everything points towards it being our cat.
I'll definitely wait until the latter end of the week before saying anything, if I do, as my daughter has exams. But is it best to tell the truth although it'll cause pain? As I feel that it'll cause ongoing hurt if they're left never knowing, and think their cat could have anything happening. I feel it's best that they know the truth, as they'll be closure eventually. But they've had a lot of loss, and I want to do this the best way for them. I'd appreciate any advice.

If they are old enough to have exams, they're old enough for the truth

Limited truth? For example, the cat was poorly and was put to sleep on mums lap as opposed to being run over?

Ages are 19, 17, 12 and 9. The options are to say the truth, or that they're forever missing, which I feel would cause more heartache long term.

How old are they? Our cat was missing recently and if I had found her dead I would have told the DC who are 14 and 12. I’d have hated doing it though. I really hope it’s not your cat.

I think telling truth is the best option, although they'll be very upset at least they wont be worried anymore

Tell them the truth.

It will be v sad and horrible, but they will process it and have closure rather than forever worrying whether she is still out there but can't get home.

some advice here

You need to tell them the truth, although whether this is before or after the exams may depend on how sensitive that child is.

At those ages I’d definitely tell the truth. I thought you were going to say pre school type ages. I’d wait until exams are done then tell them.

The truth is best. Forever missing is just awful. The truth will bring closure. Just make sure to say there wasn't a mark on the cat and it looked very peaceful, no matter what the situation is.

I think that they will B figure it out. Cats don't just go missing forever. They go missing presumed dead.

Our cat went missing and we have never found out what happened, my boys still ask about it and I have to tell them the truth. In a way it would be much more of a closure if we knew she had died and the boys would be sad but at least not waiting ‘just in case’. Dealing with the loss of a pet is hard but it is a reality of life. Our boys are only 12, 10 and 8 but have coped with the death of 2 cats, a hamster and 1 missing cat. I would pick your time but be honest.

Surely at those ages they're gong to work out what's happened soon enough anyway? I don't see any point in not telling them.

Thank you everyone for helping. My gut feeling was to be honest but a couple of people said to me it may be kinder to not say. I've gone with my gut and told them the truth, at least we can all say a goodbye now