Postnatal depression or sleep deprivation?

[DontFundHate]

Starting to worry about my mental health. I have a 4yo ds1 and 6mo ds2. 4yo goes to nursery in the mornings. I am so incredibly tired, baby up every few hours and 4yo up at 5am every day. Am ebf so can't currently leave baby for more than a couple hours to do anything to recharge. I feel on the edge of a breakdown. Sometimes I just stop and scream. My 4yo is (understandably) attention seeking at times and I know that I could deal with his behaviour so much better if I wasn't so tired. Sometimes I end up shouting at him and feel just so terrible. I don't know what to do to feel better. Everything is so hard but I feel so selfish for thinking that. I love both my DSs very much and would never hurt them. I still enjoy seeing friends and have a lovely DH and family nearby. But I'm unhappy and finding it all very hard. I don't really have a specific question but can anyone offer reassance or any advice? Thank you

Bumping for you.
Hopefully someone will come along soon with some advice.
I don’t have pnd but I have talked to gp about coping with the stresses of life and being a parent.

Lack of sleep would do that to you, so can you have a break any way? Once you get some rest you would know if it was pnd, and if it was rest would surely help as well. Could you pump and DH give a bottle so you get to sleep, or if you're weening soon would that take the pressure off a bit, as in someone else can do the feeding?

I remember this hell. There is a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture. Best to have a chat with your GP, I did and it was really helpful for me.

Oh OP I hear you. DD 2 (almost 3), DS 6 months. DD didn't sleep through till she was 2.5. Still has some unsettled nights. Doesn't take much to wake her and this week she's been waking loads. DS is taking after his sister in the no sleep stakes. Started off ok, went rapidly downhill and is just awful right now. He's ebf and refuses a bottle, so like you I never get more than an hour or so to recharge. DH a great help but with two DC he can't support me as much as he was able to do with DD.

I don't have PND but sleep deprivation is an absolute bitch. I also end up snapping at DD and finding it very hard to keep patient. Having more than one DC is bloody hard work, especially on so little sleep!

That said, I don't feel unhappy as such, just really exhausted and drained. So I think a chat with your GP or HV would be a really good thing to do. Don't suffer in silence, there's help out there and you are not alone

I can relate to some of this OP. I have a 3.8 year old and a 7 month old. The 7 month old wakes about every 2 hours at the moment. The 3.8 year old is just hard work in terms of not listening or doing what we say. Baby is bf and weaning is not going well, so I'm pretty much unable to leave her for any useful length of time. The 3 year old seems to be mummy-obsessed and just wants me most of the time eg. bedtimes, mornings etc. He also wants me to lie in his room every night until he falls asleep. The baby is in a shouty/screamy phase and also seems very attached to me as will often only settle for me.

Is your DH able to get up with your 4 year old in the mornings so you can sleep a bit longer? This is my deal with DH, but it often doesn't work out as both kids often just end up demanding/crying for me :-( . I also think you should speak to your HV or GP - there is no harm.