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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

How is it!?

17 replies

peaky297 · 14/05/2018 12:40

What are the first few months of parenthood like? Any regrets? Please tell me the good and the bad. I want a baby, but also want the full picture of what I can expect! Thanks x

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Snoopyokay · 14/05/2018 13:38

They are hazy tired days which you will not even remember as you are so tired! I remember drinking lots of tea and seeing lots of visitors. I look back on it fondly definitely! Of course the nights were hard work but it literally goes so fast you don't really have time to worry about it anyway!

Singlenotsingle · 14/05/2018 13:39

And the tea was always cold.

Snoopyokay · 14/05/2018 13:39

Sorry no regrets forgot to say! I did at one point say this is crap I hate this but was definitely sleep deprived at that point!

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KoshaMangsho · 14/05/2018 13:40

Parenthood is not the first few months. The first few months, possibly the first year is tough. The second less so and then it gets easier.
The first few weeks are a mess of leaky breast, sleep deprivation and a feeling of ‘wtf have I done with my life?’

GummyGoddess · 14/05/2018 13:45

Bad:

I found it crushingly lonely for the first 3-4 months. Everyone I knew was in work and I didn't know anybody with small babies. I also find it hard to make friends.

Due to aforementioned friendlessness I was extremely bored.

The house was a tip for about 6 months which was depressing.

I was a bit tired. Nowhere near as bad as everyone said I would be though.

Good:

I made new friends with babies who I saw every day after I had finally managed to get out to baby groups.

Snuggling your baby while they sleep is very relaxing and made me feel very content.

Watching them learn new things is amazing. Even if they learn that paint doesn't taste very nice to eat!

I am now very good at multitasking.

Everyone is really nice to you when you are out of the house with a small baby. They are also really nice when you have a toddler and stop you to say how cute they are. Even if they mistake your little boy for a girl consistently, no matter what you dress them in or how much hair they have.

Modestandatinybitsexy · 14/05/2018 15:17

My worst moment was as I left a breastfeeding clinic where they had tried and failed to help me latch DS and both me and the baby in floods as I called DH feeling like the worst mum in the world, having to stop and buy formula on the way home because I hadn't been able to feed the baby all morning.

I found breastfeeding so hard for the 1st couple of months, good weeks and bad weeks as we were both learning. For something that's the most natural thing in the world it can be incredibly hard.

But what I did learn was that you're not alone and there are plenty of places set up to support new mothers.

And obviously I think my DS is the best little person ever and I wouldn't be without him!

moita · 16/05/2018 09:29

The first 6 weeks were hard going: I had trouble feeding DS and he had colic. Things got a lot better once we established feeding and he started smiling.

After 3 months I started to really enjoy him: we went to our local children's centre and met some lovely mums.

He's 16 months now. Yes it's exhausting but wouldn't change anything.

lovelyjubilly · 16/05/2018 09:41

Nobody had warned me how much babies cry in the evenings. That was a bit of a shocker.
Have you ever been in a confined space with a screaming baby? Imagine that but 20x worse when it's your own baby.

But the joy of seeing that little face every morning outweighs it all.

K80E · 16/05/2018 10:08

For the first 5 months everytime me any DP sat down to a meal the baby would start crying. EVERYTIME

Kittysparks1 · 16/05/2018 10:35

My mental health nose dived. Be on the look out for that and get help. It's very common unfortunately.
I feel very lucky that I bonded with my son without an issue.
I can honestly say I hated the first 6 months.
But you just do it, take each day as it comes, and eventually you start to enjoy it. For me it was when his personality started to shine through (around 7months).
But then I have a friend who absolutely loves the baby stage and is planning her 4th.
The sleep deprivation is awful but it's surprising how well you can function on such little sleep.
The smiles make your heart burst.

Cottipus · 16/05/2018 14:05

It’s like having a massive project that takes over your entire life and having a demanding boss live with you 24/7.

The first few weeks feel like a bomb has dropped on your life. After the first month or so you adapt and your relationship with the baby develops all the time for the better.

My DD is harder work than I could ever have imagined but also brings so much more joy than I ever dreamed.

I was a bit meh about kids but absolutely no regrets, I couldn’t imagine my life without her. Not sure if I’ll have more than one though, it took two rounds of IVF to have DD and I’m not convinced I could go through that again.

jazzyjefff · 16/05/2018 14:11

It was definitely harder than I could of ever imagined, but she is worth every sleep deprived second of it!

Flicketyflack · 16/05/2018 14:24

Until I had children I rarely argued with DH.

The first year was hard; it changes all your relationships & the lack of sleep & tiredness is unbelievable

We never got to eat dinner without interruption for ages.

Kids are now in Secondary & I have raised two individuals

BackforGood · 16/05/2018 14:31

It is different for everyone.
Personally I was pretty traumatised, but some people sail through and love the baby months / years.

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 16/05/2018 14:37

For most people, unless you already had caring responsibilities before children, it's like a bomb goes off in every aspect of your life. (Unless of course you have one of those freak babies who is extremely relaxed and sleeps through the night in a separate cot from day 1.)

Every simple thing you took for granted before (eating, sleeping, dressing, showering, leaving the house) becomes difficult or impossible. You may well wonder if you've made a horrible mistake and feel crushed by the sheer weight of the relentlessness of it and the fact you can never take back what you have done. The sleep deprivation makes you irritable and anxious. It's normal to feel extremely irritated with your partner, especially if his life has barely changed.

The fact is, though, we could all go on at length about our experiences of it and you still wouldn't get it, really. There's no way to get it other than to go through it. And it gets better for nearly everyone. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other, sometimes because you have no other choice, and things get better on their own.

badg3r · 16/05/2018 19:16

I'm is very physically exhausting but the toddler years are much more mentally taxing!!

NerrSnerr · 16/05/2018 19:27

It's was lovely and very hazy for me, especially my first. I spent most of my time holding the baby whilst I watched bad straight to TV movies and box sets. We had no local support so I went to baby groups as soon as my husband went back to work and made lovely friends.

I find age 2-3 much harder, but everyone finds different stages easier/ harder.

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