Is our sleep routine ok? Terrified DS will be a bad sleeper!

[owltrousers]

I have an almost 4 month old DS. This is currently our sleep routine -

7pm - We take him upstairs and change him into his night time nappy (cloth) and nightwear plus sleeping bag if its not too hot
7.15 - He has his last bottle of the day, which is warm and we read a story.
7.30 - We put him in his bouncer and rock him with white noise in the background and me and DH talk quietly (he finds our voices comforting)

So far its always worked. He drifts off nicely and will sleep in the bouncer until we go to bed around 10.30, when we transfer him into his cot. He then wakes at 3am for a feed and then wakes around 6am.

When he wakes at 6am I usually scoop him into bed with me for another hour or two and he sleeps nicely there.

I have anxiety & depression which is made a lot worse by tiredness. So far we've been lucky and he's always slept quite a lot, but I'm terrified that the bouncer & the 'our bed' part of this routine could become a problem later down the line - but he simply WILL NOT sleep straight in his cot, he has to be rocked to fall asleep initially. Also, if I don't pop him in our bed at 6am he is soon wide awake.

Are we making a rod for our own backs here?

There is no such thing as a rod for your backs

And you might find it gets worse anyway since there's a sleep regression, then teething, and another sleep regression

Frankly, you're getting rather more sleep than I do with my 10 mo

And he was a feed/ rock to sleep baby. Til very recently where he can go to sleep in his cot with shushing and patting. But i always feed back to sleep at night (minutes and no upset) and usually bring him in with me so I get more sleep- my anxiety issues are triggered by his sleep to a large degree

I don't think there's much you can do regarding sleeping. You have many sleep regressions to go through still and I'm convinced it's pure luck as to whether you have a 'good' sleeper or not.

DC slept through between 5 weeks and 4ish months, then he woke every 45 minutes for ages. He started sleeping through the night just before he turned one and has mostly done so ever since. He enjoys his naps during the day and giggles when put down for them but I think that's his personality rather than anything we've done.

He didn't nap on his own until almost a year either, I started moving him from sleeping in my arms around 7 months and it was a very slow process but we did get there.

Our routine was similar at 4mo. I was up every hour last night with 15mo. Teeth I think. What we did then appears to have had no impact on what happened with sleep since.

If he’s 4 months old you are about to enter sleep regression hell anyway so I wouldn’t worry too much about it

Do what works and don’t worry about making rods for your own back. They change so quickly and have sleep regressions etc so really it doesn’t matter. Just live in the moment.

FWIW ds didn’t sleep more than a few hours at night until he was 3. Dd slept 8-7 from 5 weeks. Did the same things with both of them.

Frankly this sounds utterly amazing and thoroughly envy-inducing for the poor sods like me that have rubbish sleepers however as a PP said there is an infamous "four month sleep regression" that may or may not kick in very soon and cause your baby to start waking up a lot more frequently. Not much you can do to avoid it. Enjoy this current set up while you can!!

Sounds fabulous! As he grows you'll tweak the routine, just go with the flow and adapt as he gets bigger. Everything's a phase with babies, they just keep changing!

Some kids are good sleepers, and some kids are bad sleepers. I don't think there's anything you can do that will guarantee that your kid won't be a bad sleeper. At least, if you do have a bad sleeper, know that it's not necessarily your fault.

And do what you have to do to get the sleep you need. There's not some magic age at which, if your kid is falling asleep with you there, you can't teach them not to. I taught my 2 year old to go to sleep on his own by bribing him with a TV program he likes.

That's an incredible amount of sleep - just keep doing that if it works! Bloody hell, wish my 11 month old was that good - at 4mo he was still on hourly wake ups and even now doesn't sleep through.

If it’s working, keep going!

I did exactly the same with regard to bedtime routine when DD was tiny; bath, bottle then bouncer until we went to bed around 10-11pm. Around 4 months it just all clicked into place though and she was happy to go down her cot straight after her bottle. I think it might have been as she started rolling and clearly preferred sleeping on her tummy but it was definitely nothing we did! We opted for a dreamfeed as we went to bed though, mostly because I wanted a continuous block of sleep and not to have to get up overnight. She dropped that at 6 months once we started weaning. And like you I also used to bring her into bed at around 6am, again around 4 months she just started sleeping through until 7am though, again nothing we did. She’s done 7-7 uninterrupted with no wakings since she was 6 months old. So I would definitely disagree that you’re creating a rod for your own backs, what you’re doing sounds fab

If it ain't broke don't fix it as they say! And don't panic about sleep regressions I was terrified of the 4 month one after people endlessly telling me how awful it was, and nothing happened (!) so not every baby goes through it and it looks like you're lucky enough to have a sleeper.

Thanks everyone. Thats made me feel a lot better.

We think he might be going through the 4 month regression at the moment (he was 2 weeks overdue) as he is a much lighter sleeper now and always has the 3am feed, whereas he would go without it before. He also used to sleep til 8 and thats now 6. Can't complain really, I just hope this is is it and not a taster!

Don't overthink it. All babies are different and frankly yours is aleeping pretty amazingly! One of mine slept in his cot from birth, one coslept u til he was 3 and the last coslept until just over 1. All three now sleep in their own beds happily, today they were up between 9 and 9.30am.

The only thing i would say is that I was always advised not to let them sleep in a bouncer because on the position it puts them in? It might have changed though.

Thanks @EB123 it does lay fairly flat if you push a button on the back so he isn't scrunched in anyway, its way flatter than say - car seat position.

Just go with it if it's working for you. Like others have said, he's really tiny and has lots of sleep regressions ahead of him!

The only thing that's not clear from your post is if you're staying with him when he sleeps in the bouncer which from your post seems to be upstairs? A 4mo shouldn't be left to sleep unattended, especially not in a bouncer. Sorry if I've misunderstood, like I said your post doesn't seem clear on this.

Oh yeah when I said I did the same I meant DD was snoozing in a bouncer downstairs with us then she went in her cot when we went to bed. This was until she was about 4 months. Definitely no overnight sleeping in the bouncer or being left unsupervised. I presume OP means the same.