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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Worried about toddler

9 replies

Mammyloveswine · 14/05/2018 11:40

My little boy is 28 months old (I do day 2 in real-life but just to illustrate hes not that long turned two).

I've been worried about his lack of speech since last summer and asked for a speech referral in octover last year as he only had about 5 words. I had my youngest in January just before ds1 turned 2.

He had his initial assessment with the speech therapist in February who was happy I'd referred him early and arranged q follow up at the house.

Since then his talking has come on and he has close to 50 words and "learned phrases" e.g. "I did it". Some of these are onlu understandable to me. He is a very sociable littlr boy and loves playing chasing games, hiding etc and is physically very able (runs, jumps, climbs, can put shoes on and take clothes off etc). He returns smiles and uses gesture to help him to.communicate, lots of eye contact etc. He loves playing with cars and megablocks and enjoys looking at books and naming objects in the book or asking "what's this? What's that?". He doesnt yet copy words back to us.

He is able to follow simple instructions and will for e.g. ask for juice, a biscuit or milk if he is tired.

Anyway the speech therapist came to the house and had one toy after another for him to explore. She expressed some concern about his lack of imaginative play (e.g. she had a pop up box she put different animals in but ds wanted to push the mechanism. He did later put different objects in). Also she had a noisy puppet and wanted him to feed it cake (he did do this but wanted to hear it bark so was more interested in that).

Anyway she asked lots of questions about his sensory experiences (which made me think she was thinking ASD-im an early years teacher so could "read between the lines") but then noted his social interactions, the fact he was giving kisses and cuddles to me and his dad.

She is arranging a follow up in a few months time, ds will either be in preschool or nursery then so she will also liaise with them.

Anyway since the home visit I feel.like I am constantly scrutisining every thing my son does, questioning whether it is just typical toddler behaviour or if there is q "need" that is more than jusy delayed speech. I feel like I've had rose-tinted glasses removed and feel bereft, like there is something "wrong" with my little boy who up until a week ago I had no developmental concerns at all.aside him being a late talker. Health visitor wasn't concerned at his 2 year check either, was surprised id referred him.so soon for s&l.

I don't even know if i want advice, a vent or experiences from others but i feel so lost and I'm.not sure if it's the "being in limbo" that is the worst. Thank you for reading my mammoth post.

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 15/05/2018 09:33

Anyone??

OP posts:
Soulcakequack · 15/05/2018 09:43

Mammy last year when my son was 2 yrs 8 months. I went to a private speech therapist as I was concerned about his lack to understanding and low eye contact.

18 months later we have no diagnosis but he is being seen by a developmental paedtricain and getting support at preschool. I’m not sure what the final diagnosis will be I guess asd. It has been a huge battle at times to accesss support for him and us. But it has helped, I’m still hugely worried about his future and the fact life will be harder for him.

However the periods of worry are less constant and I can see the progress he is making. I recommend you have a look at sen boards here as they are full of advice and support.

glitterbiscuits · 15/05/2018 09:44

In my experience there is not a lot of imaginative play at just over 2. These things come later and really take off when there is good speech so they can narrate their ideas. Some children never really have that style of play. If that was the only thing that arose I wouldn’t be concerned.
Your son sounds like a normal early 2 year old to me.

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Mammyloveswine · 15/05/2018 11:47

Thanks soulcake and glitter... . I actually bumped into my health visitor this morning and was having a chat. She's going to pop out and see us next week So speaking with her will help I'm sure. My little is really sociable and follows social cues, makes appropriate eye contact etc so up until last week I just thought he was a "typical" toddler just with delayed speech..now i feel like I'm overanalysing every thing he does.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 15/05/2018 11:52

My son is nearly 3 and non verbal. He struggle socially with peers because of lack of language and long periods in hospital. We've had SO many professionals hint around at ASD but it really isn't that. I think there's just a lot of pressure for early diagnosis and they try to cover every angle.

I don't think it that odd that a 2 yo is interested in the mechanisms rather than posting items, and a noisy bark then feeding. It's such a snap shot!

Mammyloveswine · 16/05/2018 10:27

Sleeping I agree, the salt was late and just seemed to rush through every thing.

I didn't know if she wanted to see DS playing with us, playing with his toys, playing with her with his toys... I'm interested in what the report says. As an early years teacher I think reading what she has concluded will make me less anxious.

Thank you everybody. We've had a lovely few days so im feeling a little better.

OP posts:
Fatted · 16/05/2018 10:40

My DS2 was a late talker. He's just turned 3 now. There have been times I've had similar concerns about him as you have with your own. It's difficult to fathom out what's normal and what's not. I struggle because DS2 is so different to DS1, who was talking very early and is very boisterous. DS2 is a quieter more reserved child.

Some of it is down to their upbringing I think. I worked full time until DS1 was 2 so he was with a childminder full time and then stayed in part time childcare until he went to school. I went part time after having DS2 so he's only ever been home with family until he was 2YO when he went to nursery.

My DS2 speech has improved with age. I do have concerns about him socially and was worried he might have selective mutism. All the professionals he's seen haven't seem too concerned and nursery haven't raised any specific concerns either.

I'm not sure what my point is other than it's normal to worry and normal to think there is an issue or something wrong.

GrumbleBumble · 16/05/2018 10:45

Mine was seen as part of an assessment process at about three and a half - we were told he "lacked imagination". He is now 7 it is a standing family joke as he has the most vivid imagination I have ever seen in a young child. I later found that this assessment was based on his "handing over a cup" when he was asked to role play making tea. Firstly he hadn't really witnessed complex tea making (we don't use a pot just a bag in a cup) and this is done in the kitchen where unless he was eating he didn't spend much time so his "experience" of tea making was either me saying I'm going to get a cup of tea whipping off to the kitchen and coming back with one or my DH saying do you want a cup of tea and bringing me one. Secondly He wasn't interested in tea parties - he would much rather be hunting dinosaurs, chasing monsters, shooting laser at aliens etc. So now when he is regaling us with his latest long, complex flight of fancy we are know to mutter "if only he had an imagination".

SleepingStandingUp · 16/05/2018 14:09

Mine has found his volume suddenly for the three exciting words "wow", "yeah" and "baa" on repeat. It's quite wonderful when he's sat loudly shouting "wowowowowowowow"

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