Ex hasn’t involved our son with his new baby.

[JKCR2017]

I have DS 7 with my ex. I’ve been with my oh for 6 years and we have DD 2.

My ex and his partner have just had a baby which is great but I am worried about the lack of involvement with my son. The baby was born earlier this week. They announced it on Facebook a day or so later, okay I thought, they are waiting to tell him in person but I did think it was odd DS didn’t even get a phone call before it went on Facebook but hey ho. We heard nothing for 2 more days. He rang me yesterday to tell me he had been born while DS was at school, I told him I already knew as he had announced (I am his friend on Facebook - meh).

Five days, on they’re home but have not mentioned DS meeting his new brother. We’ve even been to pick up a gift for the baby today for DS to give him but they seem like they don’t give a crap!

Bearing in mind they live five minutes away I thought they could spare an hour for DS?

Am I being unreasonable to think this lack of involvement is pretty bad?

It’s going to be a big change for him as it is but he’s going to end up feeling left out!

Anyone?

Why don’t you call and ask them when is a good time for him to come meet the baby and offer to bring him by for a short time if he doesn’t already have regular contact?

If it’s his partners first or even if not and baby is having any difficulty, it’s possible they are just overwhelmed and it’s not as much of a priority as it should be. Slightly different but with my first I was in no shape for visitors at that point! My dd had to be admitted to hospital. I was so anaemic I would pass out if I stood up. I texted my mum to tell her she’d been born, but truly didn’t speak to her again for another week. It was just such a shock.

So yes he should be in touch and arranging for his son to come over, but you never know if his partner is struggling with a bit of pnd or feeding issues or is unwell. I can totally see how it might just be something they haven’t quite managed to arrange yet, especially if they have lots of overbearing family dropping in at all hours already. Could you be in touch and say you have a gift and ds would like to just stop by and meet his sibling and bring some cake? I found it was much easier when other people suggested visits because left to me, I was struggling to set things up myself - even if it is his ds and he should be more proactive.

Thank you. I do totally understand how she feels, plus I was on my own doing everything when I had DS (we split when I was pregnant but had always seen DS) and I know it’s overwhelming but may I add my ex and his partner do not live together so my ex could take him to visit baby and then back to his house possibly. He only lives a 5 minute drive away!

Unfortunately I cannot really get there to take him over myself. My other half has our car for work most of the day this week! Plus I have DD and she would be like a whirlwind 😂

When I had DD I didn’t really want any visitors but I don’t think my ex should consider his son a visitor? My son has autism and has a hard time expressing his feelings so I have no idea how he’s feeling right now 😢😢😢

I think you should be proactive and suggest it to your ex. When would it be convenient for him to take Ds (with present and cake) to see the baby. You could go in a taxi but it's probably not your job, is it?