I’m going to try and keep this short as much as poss! Apologies if I fail!
My “partner” and I have a 22 month old son and he has a daughter who is 14 from a previous relationship, she lives with us full time and hardly sees her mum. I’m also 5 months pregnant with our next baby. Anyway my partner has taken up a new career and is intensive training, he has been since our son was just 2 months old. He is training to be a pilot and for his studies he needs to work away often. He actually worked away from mon-Friday and we only saw each other on weekends, which meant for a year I was left with his daughter and our newborn on my own at the age of 22. I felt extremely lonely but was lucky enough to have a great support system from my parents. My partner is going through stress from his exams which I understand and I have given him a months worth of space by staying at my parents house with our toddler, this way he can really focus and not be distracted. Since then he has hardly made an effort with me, he only asks how my son is. Never how I am, even though I’m pregnant with our second! We are going through a rough patch to say the least and he has recently told me that he isn’t in love with me anymore and that he wants to focus on his career and just the kids. His daughter is still at the home so he is taking full care of her. Unfortunately, he has sprung on me that he regrets getting me pregnant this time around and told me that he was foolish for having unprotected sex with me. Quite obviously this has broken my heart, I’ve tried to speak with him but he won’t answer me. He has also admitted to me that his family is his mum, sister his daughter and our son. I didn’t even get mentioned, he has even admitted that “he puts his mother before me and that will never change”.
At the beginning of this year I went through my partners phone, just because I had a feeling I’d find something, low and behold I was right. Anyway I found snapchat on his phone, at the age of 34 I’m not expecting my partner to have downloaded snapchat, I find that rather sad. I found a message on his phone from a female that had sent him a photo of him grouping himself whilst wearing boxers, he replied to the message saying “when I go to Spain, you are coming with me”, he is going to Spain the end of this year for more work training. He had obviously sent her the photo in the past and she had sent it back to him, I don’t know. Anyway when I looked at the date of the message I was horrified to see that it was a week before our sons first birthday. Exactly when our son caught chicken pox, our son was so sick and it was awful. I done everything I could to relieve him from pain, and whilst I was doing so my “partner” was texting another female. This broke my heart and he grovelled to me, I stayed at my parents house with our son and cut off contact with him for a few weeks. He tried every way to get me back and clearly it worked. Now I’m pregnant with our second and he tells me he doesn’t love me anymore. I have taken care of his daughter and our son for a whole year whilst he was away for work and this is how I get repayed.
I can’t explain how I feel to be honest all I can say is my heart bleeds. I feel so let down and ashamed. I’ve been going through a tough time right now and I’ve been vomiting the past week from stress and from just feeling down, I’m cranky and tired all the time due to stress.
I’m 24 with a toddler and pregnant, what am I going to do with myself? We have amazing memories with each other and I cannot seem to get over this feeling. I’m constantly crying. I feel so low. Can anyone relate or give me advice?
Thank you
Xx