Stop people kissing baby's lips?

[xoguineas]

I have a 15 week old DD and OH and I have never kissed her mouth at all because of the dangers etc. However my OH family, especially one of his aunts, has done this with all of her children and any other baby I've ever seen her with. We went for a visit yesterday and she was holding DD chatting away then started kissing her mouth. I had no idea what to say as I was in a room with all of his family as OH had left the room and so I just took DD off of the aunt saying I needed to change DD before a feed. Now I can't stop thinking about it and I'm worried my DD will get sick but I also feel awful because I panicked and didn't know how to handle the situation/what to say. Do you let others kiss your baby's mouth? If not, what do you say when a family member does this? My OH and I had discussed what she does and he has already said to his family he does not want anyone to kiss DD on the mouth, but as soon as he left the room she done it anyway. His family already call us precious and say we're weird parents with things we do (eg DD is bottle fed and we decided as parents we wanted to be the only ones to feed her for the first few months) and members of his family have been upset by this. I just felt on the spot and didn't know how to stop the situation and just looking for advice about what to do if this happens again? Also DD will be okay won't she? I washed her mouth as soon as I took her away just in case but don't know if I'm just being paranoid.

There was a thread last week about the dangers of kissing babies on the mouth. One poster said her 13 day old baby died from herpes (aka coldsore virus). Definitely stop people kissing your DD on the mouth in future!

I've become one of these parents who don't trust anyone to hold my child because I don't trust them not to kiss him against my wishes. If they do hold him I hover nearby and rudely snatch him if it looks like they're moving in for a kiss. Better than him getting some awful disease that could kill him.

Just say 'sorry can you kiss her on the head or cheeks, we're not kissing her on the lips lips because of the risks with coldsores and catching bugs.'
If DH is in the room then he needs to address it, if not you need to.

Stop living your life on million to one chances. Kiss them, cuddle them, let everyone and everything love them. There's always ways babies/ children can die you cant protect them from them all. Do some research in bacteria and germs and the changing scientific beliefs about them, it may ease your worries.

OH has already said to her not to do it but then as soon as he leaves the room she starts. I think I will have to start picking and choosing who is able to hold her as I really don't feel I can trust her to listen to what we say

@fiddlydoodlekins there's plenty of way to show a baby love that don't involve kissing them on the lips.
Why do you think its normally reserved for just partners, we don't go round kissing all our family and friends on the lips its just not necessary.
By your logic why bother covering our mouths instead of just sneezing over a baby or washing our hands when they could still catch something? Its about reducing risk.

Xoguineas I would just say 'can you not kiss her on the lips' every time. She'll surely get bored soon and if she doesnt stop just take the baby off her and say 'did you not hear me?'

When my DD was about 6 weeks old my sister kissed her and it was only after I noticed she had a cold sore. I completely freaked out and still can't believe how stupid my sister was. DD was fine but I spent 2 weeks worried sick as HV said there was nothing I could do and just keep my eye on her.
I spoke to my whole family and asked them not to kiss her. I know I was called behind my back. I realised my baby came first I would sooner look like a over protective mum than anything happen to my DD.

Yep I agree with you they shouldn't be doing it especially if you've told them not! I still don't let people do it to DD and she's 1!
Can you not say "please don't do that" when they do it or "not her lips please" when you see them going to, I'm not sure if you already do or not from the way your post it worded or if you leave it to OH?

Kissing on the lips is a bit weird... but- why all the paranoia about germs, surely baby needs to be exposed to the odd germ here and there to develop immunity- we can't wrap them up in cotton wool and at 15 weeks your baby is a little more sturdy than a tiny newborn.

Download some info about cold sores and kissing babies on the lips. Hand one to the aunt, she will be embarrassed she didn't know such info I bet!! Don't risk your dc health for the sake of their feelings.

Tell people not to kiss her on the mouth, and explain about germs.

We didn't know until DS1 was 5 that he had cystic fibrosis. A kiss on the lips could put him in hospital even now as an adult.

What are “all the dangers”?

Unless the kisser has active cold sores- which are pretty obvious, there is no risk of infection. Herpes simplex is only usually a risk to neonates or the immunocompromised.

I get cold sores. I restrict all physical contact on the rare occasion i have an active sore. The rest of the time i don’t even think about it, and none of my family have contracted the virus. Not even dh.

So i think you are being a bit overreactive about the risks. But if you don't like it, ask them to stop.

My 15 week old is asleep on me at the mo. I kiss her on the head all the time. Easy to test her temp by kissing her forehead.

I've never kissed her on the lips. There is no need to. I wouldn't let anyone else do ot either.

We didn't know until DS1 was 5 that he had cystic fibrosis. A kiss on the lips could put him in hospital even now as an adult

Do you literally any kiss on the lips? Is that because of infection risk? What about girlfriends? Is it just his mouth that you need to be careful of because of the path to the lungs?

Sorry, genuinely interested. My friends dc has cf and she has never mentioned this, and she has a baby, so i assumed that started with kissing..

Micah he also can't share food, drink or a bedroom, because if he caught a chest infection it could hospitalise him. Luckily, but sadly, he doesn't want to get involved with anyone, because he knows it would be a huge emotional commitment for them.

Your friend's DC is very brave, as childbirth can kill a mother with CF. The strain on the lungs.

Perfectly that must be incredibly hard.

My friends dd is very young, just 17. She made a conscious decision to have her child as soon as she could because she is very aware that a) she needs to do it before she deteriorates any more b) she wants to maximise the length of time she would have with the child and c) her parents are still young, willing and able to take on the child should anything happen.

But yes, very difficult decision. It’s all she’s ever wanted though.

That's very, very sad. 😭