potty training help - he still won't say when he needs to go. Suggestions please !!!

[bendybus]

Hiyya
At the end of my tether about this. Have been trying to get DS1 to use the potty for AGES (he is 3 very soon). He will occasionally oblige if you put him on it but will never say he needs to go.
Nursery now refusing to have him progress to the next room because he isn't toilet trained. I feel bad for him, cos he really wants to go to the next room, where lots of his mates have gone - but really he's too little to get the connection.
We have big boy pants and a sticker chart and I am constantly praising any progress and saying "when you need a wee / poo please tell mummy". He always says he doesn't need, then 2 mins later is pointing out some puddle on the chair / floor etc aaaaaaarrrrrghghghghghghghghgh
Sometimes just put him on the potty but now he is starting to get upset with this. And to be honest I'm getting really fed up!!!

Any suggestions please?

Oh blimey, I have exactly this problem and basically everyone says he isn't ready yet. Which I know he isn't. Ruddy nurserys. Sorry, this isn't particularly helpful, I know, but until it all clicks, he just won't understand what you're asking him to do. Maybe leave it for a couple of months then try again?

Thanks Imnot, it's good to know i'm not alone in this potty world!!!

I just feel bad for DS, like he is getting rejected at nursery. We have been very patient and very occasionally I feel like we are getting somewhere, then it's back to the soggy trousers.

Also, I don't know how much longer I can go on being hyper excited by every miniscule wee that manages to make it to the potty.

Really desperate to get him trained before Sept when the next one is due!!!

Hi Bendybus
I don't have an short answer (I wish I did DS now 3 3/4 and we have a very similar problem and goes to school in Sept) BUT I have come across an idea which is gradually helping, potty training aversion. Basically it suggests that with older children over 3 can get so stroppy with being reminded so much that they stop co-operating. The idea is that you tell them that they are in charge, stop reminding, put a bucket for wet clothes in the bath room, a pile of clean clothes where they can get at them and leave them to it! If they have an accident you point out they are wet and say they need to go and change themselves. We have not had an overnight transformation but as a household we are calmer and we are miking some progress. My nursery are good about wetness etc and change him, but I think their routine is to try and get the kids to "go" at certain times so we haven't been able to change that.. Also does he drink juice, it can be acidic and irritate the bladder, I have also noticed if DS gets a bit constipated the wetting rate goes up, I think he just gets confused

hi my dd is 3.6 and we have on ongoing battle with potty training. She willusually oblige if you put her on the toilet(although sometimes will say she doesnt want to go and have a battle putting her on only to wee within a couple of seconds!) But just like you she has never asked to go to the toilet. We've left it so she could go herself to the toilet or potty to see if this made a difference but it didn't. Might try the aversion trick. She hates getting dressed so if she has to keep changing her clothes then maybe she'll just do it. We've been doing it for a year now and although we don't have many accidents its all down to my vigilance (plus she can hold her wee for England!!!!)

Hello
another weekend of sodden trousers and soggy socks here.

He is really rejecting the toilet and potty now and gets upset even at the suggestion. I'm just trying not to get frustrated with the situation and must admit to putting him in a nappy quite a few times. Is that the wrong message do you think?

Not wrong. I had five attempts with potty training and my ds finally announced he would use the potty when he was 3! He made the decision and yes he uses the potty or toilet......for wees, but not poos! So I am half way there. Once he had decided to do it, wee success happened virtually over night. Also the novelty of peeing in bushes in the garden helps! So I would say, stop - go back to nappies and tell him it is up to him. Give yourselves a break!