How do I get my child to eat?!

[crazycatbaby]

Just a bit frustrated and wondered if anyone had any advice. My little boy is 18 months old, and I'm getting so frustrated at him refusing to eat a proper meal. He doesn't seem to like hot food, he eats mainly toast/rice cakes/raisins/yogurt/fruit/cheese He also won't eat meat/fish/eggs. I keep trying him with them but he spits it out. I just made him spaghetti for tea and he threw it on the floor and has had toast and an orange instead. Does anyone have any suggestions of healthy things I can try him with? I was an extremely picky eater when I was small but I'm not now, so I'm trying not to worry to much but it's hard not to! (I'm not picky at all now)
Thanks

He’s getting nutrients from what he is eating for now plenty fruit and calcium from yoghurts and cheese will help him put weight on
He’s being stubborn..
Try him with salad things, grated carrot,tomatoes, lettuce and cucumber..working towards savoury hot meals like macaroni cheese and spaghetti bolognaise

I just made him spaghetti for tea and he threw it on the floor

What's he doing throwing an entire meal on the floor? That's something a sub-12 month old might do, it's not something I would expect at 18 months. The odd spoonful splattered on your the floor, yes. The odd spoonful that misses the mouth and ends up down his front, yes. But chucking a whole meal? Poor behaviour imo, I'd be looking to amend that in a view your early teaching of basic manners.

I'd stay close at meal times. I'd be eating too (as would the whole of the family), but always with one eye on ensuring the spoon is loaded and making its way from bowl to mouth consistently. I'd be within arms reach to stop any spillages and certainly any throwing food on the floor.

That said, I'd then not offer an alternate. Dinner is what dinner is. So if it's spaghetti bolognese for dinner then baby gets spaghetti bolognese. The bowl stays in front of baby until the rest of the family are finished, with as much eaten as possible. Then what's left is taken away and fruit/yoghurt offered.

What's eaten is eaten. I wouldn't offer a toast alternate.

Does anyone have any suggestions of healthy things I can try him with?

Rather than spaghetti bolognese, or anything else that needs you be eaten with a spoon, I find meals that baby can grab and eat with hands are better at this age.

By far the best meals are basic 'meat and 3 veg' meals. Chicken, beef, lamb, fish etc pieces and a selection of cooked veg. No cutlery, just offer food directly from hand you mouth.

Likewise lunch, plowmans-style selection works best I think.

FATEdestiny harsh! My son at 3 is only just getting better and he would have thrown a plate if food in the floor rather than having to eat it! I'm guessing you've never had a tricky eater!

cutes then you're clearly not as perfect a parent as Fate and your child is totally delinquent.

OP, it's totally normal and a phase most toddlers go through. Usually a long, messy and painful one too... keep offering a different food along side something you know they'll eat. Maybe offer a pasta like fusilli rather than spaghetti - it's easier for them to get hold of with a fork or fingers. But essentially, just keep offering. My 2.6 ds is only just coming out of the phase now.

Mine were aged 1, 2 and 3 at one point.

Feed them on the floor on a large wipeable table cloth. If theyre on the floor they cant throw it on the floor

Have picnics out and about when they are very hungry.

Hot food in thermos flasks.

Dont worry, you are only 6 weeks away from your next drama.

You've been quiet recently fate but come back in style!

Op all you can do is try . Could be a phase. Your little one is getting enough....try not to worry too much x

My five threw plenty!

Just keep trying stuff.

Dont let him see you are bothered about it- I think many instinctively train their parents this way.

I agree about not offering alternatives all the time- it just encourages them to reduce their duet to their preferences.

At this age a wide range of tastes and little stress is best. Expect accidents and refusals and don't worry.

Jesus more fool fate for having a different opinion .
Everyone parents differently and she was just giving advice

How bizarre fate. 18 months is too old to throw food but too young to be expected to use a spoon and should be given finger foods? Hey?! Totally contradictory.

Fwiw, I think you're doing everything right. Just keep offering, try not to make it a big deal when he refuses. You could try separating the food out a bit so spag bol would be spaghetti on its own and then bolognese sauce on its own. Try not to over compensate with snacks. You wouldn't want to be starving him but if he's constantly picking at snacks then he'll never try anything different.

Also if he has to sit down for meals but is allowed to walk around with snacks he's not going to have a very positive association with hot, sit down food.

Ha! My 5 yo dgs is still picky, although his 2 yo sister eats everything including his dinner. He eats cheese, pasta, wraps, carrots, fruit and bakery items eg bagels. He's healthy, and as long as he gets all the nutrients he needs, we're not going to worry too much.

He is eating though, just not what you want him to eat.

My DD was awful to wean. She swallowed nothing until she was well over one and nibbled at the sorts of things you’ve mentioned until she was well over 2. I just kept presenting her with food: a little meat, veg, pasta but with something she would like such as toast or cheese.

She’s now 4 and eats pretty well. Not through any interventions, she’s just got older and improved.

What's he doing throwing an entire meal on the floor? That's something a sub-12 month old might do, it's not something I would expect at 18 months. The odd spoonful splattered on your the floor, yes. The odd spoonful that misses the mouth and ends up down his front, yes. But chucking a whole meal? Poor behaviour imo, I'd be looking to amend that in a view your early teaching of basic manners.

Wow. Did you mean to sound so judgy? My 18 month old will occasionally tip his entire plate onto the floor if he doesn’t fancy eating it. It doesn’t happen all the time, but it does happen. Sometimes I am able to quickly grab the plate/bowl in time to stop it being spilled, sometimes I don’t - you can’t be on edge 100% of the time! I’m pretty sure he isn’t the only one or particularly badly behaved either - no we do not condone it and he gets no alternative if he won’t eat/throws his dinner.
But implying that an 18 month old is lacking in basic manners? Um yeah, mine burps and farts too and eats bits off the floor and the other day he stuck a finger up his nose so I guess his manners need some work...

OP, instead of giving an alternative when he doesn’t eat his dinner try to put one thing on his plate that he will definitely like, e.g. when offering pasta or another meal you could have some small bits of toast or cheese on the plate too? So he won’t go hungry but you’re also not “rewarding “ him for not eating his meal by giving an alternative.
Other than that I’d just keep offering and let him eat what you're eating, family meals together etc. I wouldn’t worry too much, both mine have gone through / are going though fussy eating phases, with my 3 year old his eating improved a lot after he started nursery and ate with other children. Good luck!

I've had a difficult time with my son and eating. I just give him what foods he wants, he's nearly two and he's just started trying new foods this week. His diet prior to this was shreddies toast & yoghurts. I didn't do anything different this week, I always offer him a small portion of something he usually refuses along with something I know he'll eat. I'm not sure if that helps you or not but try not to worry about it, I would get really stressed at meal times and it was always going to be a losing battle.

It's normal, my 4 year old goes through fussy phases still. Two weeks ago he 'hated' spaghetti and meatballs, yet he asked for it last night.

At 18 months they're barely grasping appropriate behaviour. Keep saying no when food gets thrown on the floor, but try to make mealtimes fun, rather than "you must eat or else." Punishing for not eating, rather than the poor manners (which at 18 mo, they're only just starting to learn) can make it more challenging.

What worked my 4 year old was younger was having all the food in the middle of the table and watching us pick what we wanted and put it on our plate. He liked being in control of what he ate, he ate more and mealtimes were easier.

Shmithecat yeah obviously I'm not the perfect mother like FATE! wrongs hands in agony!

Thanks for all the advice. For a bit of context FATE, he doesn't normally throw things on the floor, he was a bit out of sorts and in hindsight I shouldn't have attempted something that I knew he might not eat. If he is finished his food normally or doesn't want it he normally hands me the plate. He always says please and thank you so I'm not too worried about his manners at this point
I usually give him something that I know he will eat, and put one thing on the plate that I know he probably won't but he might try it. When we are out eating I always give him stuff off our plates to try, sometimes he will eat it (he has wolfed down Gorgonzola mushrooms, and calamari before now)
He's my first so I was just worrying, I'll keep on trying him with things and try to relax about it a bit. Thanks everyone!

Good fussiness as a child is partly genetically inherited, so don't beat yourself up too much. I'd just ensure he's getting all the nutrition he needs, and keep offering novel foods (like you are doing). Is he getting enough protein though?

Food fussiness not good fussiness obvs...

he doesn't normally throw things on the floor, he was a bit out of sorts

In that case I wouldn't worry. I wouldn't have offered an alternate main meal though, just bulked out pudding with extra variety of fruit and lots of plain yoghurt. Maybe chucking some chia seeds in. Next meal might be better.

Some suggestions:

● Pasta is easier for a toddler than spaghetti. And have it cool enough to be able to handle with hands.

● It's difficult not to focus on toddler during mealtime if she is an only child. Mealtimes in a bigger family (I have 4) are easier to be relaxed I find, because we chat with all the children. It takes the pressure and focus off the toddler eating. Try to maintain a conversation with your DH, including your toddler too obviously, but so that she just gets on with it without any pressure.

● It sounds obvious, but make sure the portion size is small enough. Better she finishes all of the tiny amount you gave and has the option of more, than always not finishing a meal.

● Sounds boring, but stick to meals on the blander side while fussy. I'd avoid meats in sauces and establish at least 2 veg you know will always be eaten and always offer one, plus 2 other veg.

● What about hummus dip for protein? Or baked beans? Will she eat eggs any way? You need to focus on protein if not eating much meat. Will she eat meat at lunchtime, for example ham sandwich or cocktail sausage?

● In terms of manners, I didn't mean it was a big deal at this age. But the basics of table manners could be being learnt at this age. Just things like sit down to eat, staying at the table. Not throwing food was part of that learning process. Just a sharp "Ay. NO" while rescuing the plate is enough. I would assume most parents do/teach this anyway. I can't get my head around the uproar about it.

● Finally, I'd just lower your expectations. Toddlers are learning and they are fussy. But you'll slow that learning process if you are inadvertently teaching baby that she gets toast if she just refuses to try what's for dinner. Just offer the meal and lower your expectations of what she'll eat. Keep plate in front of her and encourage while you're eating, clear away when you've finished even if she's only had a little. Repeat every meal.

Don't get defensive Cutesbabasmummy, it's not worth it. I have a 3 year old too. And I've done my time with a toddler (now 13yo) who refused to eat anything that wasn't room temperature. Cue microwaving strawberries because they were "too cold" and serving up dinner 45 mins before eating so it wasn't "too hot". Both learnt very basic table manners. That does not make me and more/less "perfect" than anyone else.

"Hey?" what ErictheGuineaPig? Any need for the nasty tone? Finger food is easiest in the toddler age. This isn't rocket science, it's part of BLW. Mine learnt spoon use with yoghurts from about 9 months.

you can’t be on edge 100% of the time!

Im not sure what you are imagining MoHunter? I'm not on edge... ever. I'm just sat next you my toddler at the dinner table. It would be hard work not to notice a plate making its way to the edge of the table. I think sitting together at the dinner table for meals is part of why the not-throwing thing comes and so naturally to me. I couldn't fail to notice it coming and of course I'd stop it before it does.

If you read nasty into 'hey'?! Then you need to build up a bit of resilience.

I initially typed bitchy, but chose to amend to nasty before posting in order to not inflame. My instincts are usually good. You're tone is bitchy here *ErictheGuineaPig. That's all about you, nothing about me.

I've a very relaxed view on eating and I've two great eaters and one fuss pot who is improving (sensory issues)

Give him what you know he will eat.

When you're eating something he doesn't normally, put a spoonful/slice of it on a separate plate/bowl. Give him the option to try it if the mood takes him. If he doesn't then nothing's lost.

Tastes change as they grow and when he's at nursery/School he'll eat more with his peers. Try not to worry.

Thanks again for suggestions. He won't eat meat/fish/eggs of any sort at the moment. They say he eats ham sandwiches at nursery but he won't at home 🙄 Also not keen on beans, I have tried hummus and he wasn't sure but will try again. It's mainly if he's getting enough protein that I worry about!
He's not wasting away by any means, he's 75th centile for height (unsure about weight), he looks a bit skinny sometimes compared to other kids but think that's just his build.