I've had enough of parenting today

[IAmARegular]

Name changed because I'm ashamed of this rant that's about to come!

I'm so tired and fed up today I just want to scream I have a 2mo baby who has decided the past few days she won't settle anywhere other than someone's arms. She now screams in the pram and won't fall asleep in it like usual.

Rationally I know it's probably the heat bothering her, but irrationally I'm so frustrated, sad and angry that I'm basically just a human dummy.

She won't sleep unless she is swaddled but being swaddled makes her even hotter in this heat. I'm scared she'll overheat, even if I just swaddle her when she's wearing an nappy.

I had to deal with screaming on the school run and could only get my older child a drink and shove the TV on before I had to go shut myself in a dark bedroom to try and feed DD to sleep. It didn't work and I ended up crying and shouting at her I ended up putting her in the cot in her room and going to cry in my bed until DP came home from work and eventually settled her.

I'm just feeling really down today, I was too afraid to go out anywhere today as I knew she would just cry so I've been stuck inside all day. I'm not looking for any miracle cures to fussy baby behaviour (although that would be nice!) maybe just reassurance that other people have days like this too?

Yes yes yes. Today has been rubbish. 6 week old who won't even go to sleep on boob today. 3 year old who is tired and hot. At one point today we were all in tears in the car. Cannot wait until the 3 year old is in bed and then st least I only have to deal with one of them.

I feel your pain my 3 month old hates the heat and is clingy. If you need you do something put her in her bouncy chair, cot, Moses basket and even if she cries for 5 mins it's o.k. I know sometimes they cry all day for no reason but I try and accept that's what babies do, don't be embarrassed if she cries when you are out and about.

@catg83 I mean this in the nicest way, but I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

I'm so looking forward to the baby falling asleep (properly, not for a 20 minute nap DD!) so I can have some time to myself! I feel selfish but all I want in the world right now is a night to myself, in a nice hotel, with a hot bubble bath and a huge bar of chocolate! I want to switch off from being mum (AKA human dummy)

And as I type, DD went from having her eyes closed, occasionally sucking, to having her eyes wide open sucking like mad! I just want to put my boob away!!!

@15star thanks! You're right, I do get embarrassed when she cries if I'm out. And what I hate is random people coming up to the pram, shaking it and telling me "oh she must be hungry, she needs a feed mummy". No. She doesn't need another bloody feed, because I just sat for half an hour feeding her and she is NOT hungry! What she wants is to be picked up and cuddled which I can't do whilst pushing the pram (well I can but I can't do either pram pushing or baby cuddling very well)

DD is naturally a very clingy baby, if she's awake she wants to be held and is only content on her play mat or swingy chair for a short amount of time. I can only really get a great deal done when she's asleep.

Thank god for DP, he's just taken DD from me before I had another breakdown after her being awake.

Ugh I sound like a terrible mum and a horrible person, hopefully tomorrow morning I'll be able to act like a loving and caring parent!

Oh I hate that I just say "no he hates the pram but that's life" or if someone is giving dirty looks I have been known to ask if it's the 1st baby they've ever seen crying

This was my life for the first 8 months or so of my son's existence. Unrelenting frustration and despair. Hang in there.

I'd like to join the club. 8 mo DD had this permanent winge today, whether on the floor, being held, just fed, just napped.

Had to tell 4yo dd i was grumpy mummy and it's not her fault but behave!

Bless you all. Sounds like some bloody awful days out there. Hang on in there, tomorrow is another day and you’re all doing a grand job under tricky circumstances 💐

hang in there it will pass. sounds like my son who was a trickier baby who was colicky, screaming 24/7 for first 3 months regardless of what I did, did not know how to sleep, hard to settle and struggled with a hot summer. he's a sensitive little one and he only started sleeping properly from 5 or 6 months old. he is nearly 4 now and still cries himself to nap when exhausted, like during a long car ride, while his sister just drifts off

Oh gosh I feel so guilty now, most of the time DD is a lovely baby. Well, the wanting to be held when awake is tiring sometimes but generally she has good day time naps if she's swaddled and fed to sleep.

I know I'll be wishing for the days of my tiny baby back when she's a very mobile and curious toddler.

I've felt like an awful parent to DD1 who has just kept herself to herself and was perfectly happy watching My Little Pony! I remember when she was a baby and I had these types of days with her.

DP has watched the baby after getting her to sleep and I've had the past couple of hours relaxing by myself. It's been amazing!

Hope everyone else who's had a bad day has a better one tomorrow. I will probably be back tomorrow night moaning away again

Have you tried a LTD arms up swaddle? They’re very thin, just a single layer so less chance of overheating than a traditional swaddle. Also gives baby access to their hands to suck/rub their face to soothe. I think they’re fab.

If she prefers arms down, I’m sure Woombie do a lightweight summer swaddle with mesh panels.

Would you consider/would she take an actual dummy to give you a bit of a break?

Hope things improve soon

Firstly, your baby should still be inside you. Read up on the fourth trimester.

Secondly, there is a massive growth spurt and sleep regression at 8weeks, which is one of the reasons your baby is fussy.

I feel you OP. Permanent whingy 8mo DS today. Absolutely nothing I did today was right. Had a little (*big) cry too.

Could you maybe swaddle her to sleep and then once she has properly gone just gently loosen it up? Hope you have a good nights rest and things are better tomorrow for you

DS was a tiny baby at this time of year. I used to swaddle him in just a nappy in a giant muslin, nice and thin but did the job perfectly.
Otherwise you have my sympathy, DD won't take a dummy and I think I permanently have a breast hanging out!

@TittyGolightly I've read about it, and about how she is developing and I know that it's all perfectly normal. I'm more ranting, knowing I'm being irrational. It's more my reaction to it, if that makes sense? Some days I can be calm and roll with the punches, and other days I just feel like I can't handle it and I cry and turn into this horrible person. Even though I know it's all normal, and she's only a tiny human, sometimes I can't control my emotions and I get upset. Which is crazy because she's so small and doesn't understand. It's like sometimes I take her behaviour personally. As in, she's not sleeping because she's naughty and she wants to upset me. But how ridiculous is that?! She's a tiny baby!

She is a bit older than 2 months, more 2 and a half, and we've just come out of a rough patch sleeping wise so that is a positive. I'm sure at this age with DD1 I was a sleep deprived monster. I certainly remember being up more in the night and a lot more tired.

@Lemondrop99 I will have a look at that swaddle, the one we have at the moment will soon be too small for her (and she's pretty good at getting out of it!)
I have tried with a dummy, she will occasionally take it for her dad but has only taken it once from me. I've tried a softer teat as well which DP had more success with but most of the time she rejects the dummy and makes choking noises of disgust.

@Lana1234 same for you! I think I'll have to do that, she won't sleep at all without being swaddled so I'll need to do something when we're on the school run. I do have a wrap sling but in this weather we'd both be far too hot using it!

@UnderTheSleepingBaby that's actually a really good idea, I have some large muslins I could use. I'll give it a go and report back! As for the boob hanging out, I'm right there with you! And most of the time I forget to clip my bra back up and spend the rest of the day with one boob sagging (a lot!!) lower than the other the one thing I really won't miss about breast feeding, the bras!!

Would a sling help you? Then she'd have the contact but you'd have a little bit more freedom?

The WonderWeeks book saved me with DS1. I would have totally been lost without it!

The next regression is at 12 weeks, OP. 😬

Helpful tittygolightly