Is 2 too young for a reward chart?

[Summerdays2014]

Hi,

I’ve got a 2.3 month old son and we are going through the terrible 2’s... flash points are tooth brushing, leaving the house and going to bed. Do you think a reward chart would work at this age? Thanks.

We used a sticker chart for toothbrushing for a while. It really helped. But no big rewards etc.

Also for bedtime, we have 3 stories picked out for bedtime. Any misbehaving - give a warning of losing a story, then a 2nd warning, take a story away. Then repeat if still misbehaving.

Then repeat only 2 stories because xyz, If they ask for more. Then kiss good night and lights out.

Hope that makes sense? Feel a migraine coming on so it probably doesnt

That’s a great idea about the 3 stories. At the moment bed time is taking over an hour and still ends in screaming. It can’t go on like this! Hope your migraine doesn’t get too bad.

We used a sticker chart for potty training our DC - worked for our first who was just past 2, however our second was a few months younger and a totally different personality, and she just didn’t get it. For her we used stickers but stuck them directly on the potty rather than on a separate chart - that seemed to make a lot more sense to her and worked much better.

To be honest I think the difference was as much to do with personality/maturity as it was to do with age.

Perhaps you could try something more specific to each “activity” rather than a “one covers all” chart. Maybe a chart by the front door for leaving the house, a toothbrush holder or mirror which can be decorated with stickers for the toothbrushing and a decorate your own pillowcase for bedtime which can had colours added to it instead of stickers.

Rewards, if you choose to use them, should really be specific to the issue - books/tiny soft toys for bedtime, a small treat like a magazine when our shopping for leaving the house, a cool toothbrush holder or mirror for tooth brushing.

I had a nursery nurse pop round to help with DD recently (was at end of my tether with newborn and DD who's 2.7, my HV organised it). She suggested a jar to fill with pasta - anything good she does, put a piece of pasta in the jar and she gets a reward when it's full. With regards to bad behaviour she said tell DD off once, it she continues then walk away/ignore as you're not then giving them attention for bad behaviour. She reiterated the need to heap on praise for good behaviour so that gets her attention instead of bad behaviour.

Pasta is a good idea, I’ve actually seen that on things like the 3 day nanny but forgot! Thanks. Also having specific charts for each task makes sense!

Basically a reward chart will work when they get to the age where they understand cause and effect - the concept that one action leads to something else rather than being unrelated. Some children at 2.3 will 'get' this, some need to be a bit older.

I’ve done reward charts with varied success. I would pick the one specific behaviour that you’re really wanting to tackle and do a sticker chart for that one thing. Maybe the tooth brushing as it’s part of the bedtime routine and hopefully the rest of the routine will fall into place.

Keep the chart in the bathroom so it’s near and the sticker can be given straight away, or if your dc is a bathroom messer put it in the bedroom to encourage them to get out quickly. Really heap on the praise when they’ve done it, it will seem overboard but it really works.

The sticker and praise is sometimes reward enough but you could mark the chart and say “when you get this many you can have x”, x being something really small, a pack of stickers or crayons or a cheapish blind bag etc.

We do a Pom Pom jar too for both dcs to work together to fill. This is for non specific things like playing well together, helping around the house etc. When it’s full we have a treat jar for them to pick a reward from, these are more big ticket things like a trip to the cinema, bowling or a picnic etc.

You do have to be consistent though, even though it’s sometimes easier to give in. The heavy praise thing isn’t 100% natural to me but it really does work. Good luck.