Tell me about a 3yr age gap

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We are planning on ttc DC#2 when DS turns 2. What is it like having children with a 3 year age gap? How independent is the 3yo when the new baby comes along?

Three year age gap has been wonderful for us! Ds1 in preschool every afternoon so I get a few hours with DS2 alone, both happy to watch the same things on TV, older son can entertain himself for 15mins or so why I dress the youngest, i think when they are both a little older will want to do the same sort of thing, such as 3 and 6 will still like gullivers world etc.

It has been brilliant in many ways for us too (3.5yrs) just as PP have said.

However, do not underestimate how tricky it is for a 3y/o to adjust to having a new sibling. They are by then old enough to understand that the change is huge but not emotionally mature enough to process it all. My DS really struggled for a few months, it took quite careful management.

I actually found books about new babies etc not very helpful as they romantisiced the whole thing. Essentially my DS struggled with the fact that his new brother did nothing but cry, sleep or eat and that he couldn't really cuddle him or play with him for ages. He found him really boring and didn't really understand him!

That said, I think the pros really do outweigh the cons, it's certainly much easier as a parent! DS1 will happily potter around without needing too much help etc and understands (mostly!!) When the baby needs help.

There’s 2 years and 9 months between mine. And quite honestly I find it hard going sometimes....if I’m reading to the oldest one (he’ll be 4 this summer) baby DD is snatching at the pages and wriggling to get down, or won’t sit long on my knee/in the highchair if the older one is colouring etc or if I’m playing a table game with him. And she constantly destroys his cars and train tracks if he’s playing on the floor. If I’m playing with the baby, building towers or looking at her little books, DS comes over knocking things down and dominating her toys. He can also be very loud when I’m trying to get the baby to sleep.

That said, she adores her big brother and loves sitting on his knee and having cuddles. He enjoys making her laugh and playing with her fluffy hair. But sometimes I wish we’d had the baby this year, as he starts school in September and I do struggle finding things they both enjoy doing when we’re in the house. But it’s a temporary problem and as the weather improves we can hopefully do more stuff outside which will help!

3y3m between mine (and they are now teen/pre-teen) and it's brilliant, almost always has been. The only tricky bit was when the older one was around 4 and had lots of intricate games going on, and the younger one was a newly mobile lurching game-wrecker, but they have always been close and still are. Lots of shared interests too (and I have one of each).

I have a 2 year, 6 year and 14m age gap with mine. Just 2 is the hardest gap IMO. Over 3 has worked really well with friends and believe it or not the 14m gap was the easiest!!!

So I have 3.5 yrs between dd1 and dd3 (dd2 arrived inbetween them!) I actually found that when dd3 arrived it was dd1 who reacted really badly, and seems massively affected by it. She regressed, became very grumpy, and having a baby at a point in her life when she was just starting to need lots of help with learning to read, learning to swim, and generally just being on the cusp of being a child not a toddler was actually very tough on her. And now she’s 5, and the baby is 2 they don’t really ‘play’ together. I mean she looks after the baby and reads to her and tickles her but it’s not on her level.

DD2 however who is between them is a different story. She was completely unaware of the arrival of the baby (2 year age gap) and they play really sweetly together. Likewise, dd1 was only 1 and a half when dd2 arrived and she was blissfully unaware.and now they are literally the best ever friends and play together with minimal supervision pretty much constantly.
So to summerise, I found a small age gap, of 2 years or less better for my children. (Although tough on me!) Every family and child is different though, and I know
lots really favour the 3 year age gap.

all three of my kids are 3 years apart