Desperate help need. I'm shattered

[foodgloriousfood1]

I'm really struggling here. I'm exhausted.

My LO is 10 months old today. He's never been a particularly great sleeper but he's slept 10-6 a couple of times so I know he's capable of it.

On an average night he wakes twice. On a bad night he wakes 3 times. He usually wants milk to go back to sleep.

However the last three nights he's woke in excess of 6 times. I can't handle it :(. I'm at work following maternity leave now also so I'm really feeling it.

He already has 6 teeth. We follow a strict bedtime routine every night. He's eating a good 3 meals a day and still drinking around 21oz milk.

What am I doing wrong?????

I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Babies sleep just changes all the time. Hope it improves for you can partner help you at night?

Second that you're not doing anything wrong, this is how babies sleep. Is he teething? What remedies have you tried? Anbesol was a game changer for us. Just do what you can to survive it- cosleep, get help where you can, go to bed early if poss. It won't be forever.

It's just so disheartening as whenever I speak to people I know they all tell me that their perfect little babies sleep 12 hours a night!

We have anbesol too but it's not helping with sleep.

It's exhausting :(

This could be me. My baby had never been a good sleeper either she has just turned 11 months. We started bringing her into our bed when I went back to work I couldnt handle getting up 3+ times. Its just easier to have her in the bed next to us and she sleeps better with us but she is a very clingy baby. They will sleep eventually. Hope it gets better for you soon

Ps dont listen to the "my baby sleeps 12 hours a night" it will drive you insane and most of the time they are lying haha!

It's a nightmare but normal! Mine was 18 months until he slept for longer than 3 hours. Co-sleeping helped!

8-10 mo sleep regression

Mine has never slept through, I'd count 3 wakeups as good.

Is he nearly walking? He’s practicing his new skills and growing at a rapid rate of knots. It will calm down . This stage does pass. Ask for help. It’ll become your best friend! Forget about housework. Get microwave meals so you can also rest for a little

He is actually. He's cruising loads and and is standing a lot (using one hand to hold on to furniture).

Often in the night when he wakes and I can hear his cry, I will go in and he will be stood up in his cot

My ds was bf with 1 ff a day given by dh. At 9 months and severe sleep deprivation I sent dh in with a bottle. The first night he had an ounce, second night none. Third night he slept through! Worth a try?!

My LO has also just turned 10 months and is just emerging from a very long period of multiple night wakings - we’ve had a 6 hour block of sleep for the last 5 nights (thank god as I’m also back at work). She has never slept 12 hours! The worst nights were definitely when she was teething.

Can you give us a rough breakdown of his day? Nap times and lengths etc. Are you bf or ff? And how do you get him to sleep for naps and nighttime?

I can't help my daughter is 2 and slept through the night twice. But she's a total boob monster and I'm too soft/lazy scared to wean at the mo. But I just wanted to second that anyone who's claims their baby sleeps fantastically is a fucking liar. Yes they're the odd few but they're as rare as hens teeth.
Just plod on it's what the rest of us are going

I feel your pain, my first was like this and I was also back at work. In his case I think it was teething plus learning to crawl/walk plus anxiety about going to childcare. Some good suggestions already upthread. I would suggest:

Go to bed straight after he does, even if you can't manage it every night do it for a few nights to catch up. Eat ready meals for a few days so that you don't have to Cook and clear up.

Has he ever had a dummy? Could that get him back to sleep more quickly than milk?

Run a shift system with your partner and sleep in separate beds, so that you get 4 hours uninterrupted sleep.

Sleep on a mattress on his floor and have a carton of ready mixed formula and bottles ready so that you get him back as quickly as poss.

Try cosleeping, if he is in pain teething your presence will comfort him. I hated cosleeping and could only ever doze with DS there but it was better than allnight screaming.

Sorry glass but my baby sleeps really well and I’m not a liar! She wasn’t a naturally good sleeper - her first months were awful and I felt like death, but followed some great advice on here and she got into a great routine and we encouraged independent sleep habits. She’s 11 months now and sleeps 7.30-7 and naps well twice a day. Has done since about 5 months old.

Yes, some babies are better / worse sleepers than others, but there are lots of things you can do to improve sleep. (Not necessarily 12hrs a night though!)

Sipper I said most not all!! You're the holy grail!! I'm jealous

Sorry for my oversensitivity glass! And I remember how shit I felt in the height of sleep deprivation, it’s the pits!

My HV said when babies go through a growth spurt they need more food so tend to wake more to feed during the night for a few days/weeks.

My first DS was a terrible sleeper so I trained the next 2 and they both slept through the night from 5 months.
My advice if your sure hes had enough food/milk in the day is to give him water if he wakes. Pretty boring to wake up for that dont bring him into your room. Quick drink of water cuddle kiss and back down. Each time he wakes give it a little longer before you go in. Stretch 5 mins into 10 etc he will hopefully drift back off to sleep.
I also use a music/light box which I put on as they go down if they wake in the night can put that on to resettle.

Yes of course.

He'll wake at around 6am. We have cuddles/play for a bit then he will have breakfast, usually porridge. Finished with a couple oz formula

At around 9am he will have 6oz formula and drift for a nap for around an hour.

12pm - lunch. Usually chicken, veg and pasta or similar followed by a yoghurt

2pm - 6oz formula and a nap usually 30mins-hour

5pm - dinner. Often fish or chicken and veggies/potatoes etc followed by a pudding of a fruit pot or similar

7pm - bath, cuddles/story then 8oz bottle. Some nights he'll drink all, others just half and sleep in cot

Usually he'll be a wake again by 10 and will fall asleep with milk until around 1am, same again until around 4:30. Then sleeps til 6.

Last night we played after his bedtime bottle and rocked him until he was drowsy and placed him in the cot so he wasn't relying on the milk to sleep.

He woke at 9, his dad rubbed his back til he drifted back off. He woke again 10 mins later, dad when back in. Then again another 10 mins later, I went in and rubbed his back. He slept til midnight.

Midnight I gave him water.

He woke again at 2. I gave him milk.

He then woke at 4:45 then on and off waking (i left him to it as he wasn't full crying) and I got him up at 6.

Sorry for the essay!

I feel your pain. I have a health problem that is exacerbated by lack of sleep so had to find something tbat worked. All three of mine were sleeping 9 hours straight by 3 months but then had a massive sleep regression from about 5 months. So I waited until they were all about 10 months old and stopped feeding them at night. We did this by DH going to them at night and comforting them. Once that was fully established we tried that thing where you pack them instead of picking them up but that's just really really annoyed the eldest. so eventually we did controlled crying. I was really dreading it but I was at breaking point my health was deteriorating and I was such a grumpy cow that we figured that any psychological damage would be nothing compared to having such a snappy short tempered mum. For the first two it was about 20 minutes each on the first night and then about 10 minutes for the next two nights. The third one did take about 40 minutes and to this day is Tenacious as hell.
Obviously we checked none of them were ill or teething. It was so good. I went from being such a exhausted tired unresponsive parent to a playful happy one. they are now all much older very well-rounded. And don't listen to anyone that says they need milk at night-time if they are eating and drinking plenty in the daytime they won't need it. Most certainly didn't stop my nearly 6 foot 12 year old from growing! It's not for everyone but for us it was most certainly the best thing we did for all of us. And having watched my sister still have sleepless nights as she refused to do it with her kids when they were 8 and 10 I was very glad we did.

All sounds very normal to me OP, no two babies are the same DS1 was a dream and slept really well. DS2 a completely different story and the reason there was no DS3/DD! If does get easier, it’s hard when you are going through if I know.

Sounds like you have a great routine, but he doesn’t seem to be getting that much daytime sleep - sometimes just 1.5 hours and then has some night wakes so he may be a bit overtired, which can lead to lighter sleeping.

Also, although he’s not relying on the milk to get to sleep, he is relying on rocking/back rubbing to settle and get drowsy, which he then needs when he wakes in the night.

I think you need to break the rocking / rubbing / feeding around sleeptime. This may involve some crying (Obviously you can do controlled crying, but there are also more gentle methods, but of course these would take longer). Personally I would just do CC, but have a google of the mumsnet ‘what worked for us’ thread, which was some really gentle sleep training a family followed.

Wishing you lots of luck.

So last night was an improvement.

We did our normal routine and instead of rocking to sleep I lay him in the cot and sat in the room until he began drifting off. I admit I did hold his hand until his eyes got heavy. I gradually stepped away from him until I was eventually out of the room.

He woke at 8:30, I thought "oh here we go again". My husband wen and have him some water which got him off to sleep.

He then slept until 1!!! At 1, he woke crying so I gave him some water which worked but as soon as I got back into bed, I could here him on the monitor again. I went back to his room and he was stood crying so I rubbed his back until he fell asleep.

He woke again at 3:30. This time I allowed milk as I intend to gradually stop the milk rather than completely stop it. Again, he went to sleep, or so I thought until I got back to bed. I then went back and rubbed his back.

He then slept until 6:45!!!!!!

Hopefully this is the start of an improvement and not a one off....

That sounds great!! Even if it is a one off, you know he can do it, so hopefully will help you to persevere. Bring on the sleep!