Can’t cope anymore

[Helensmelon]

I’m not quite sure where to start with this - I had dd 7 months ago and I just can’t cope. I have a loving husband supportive family but I just feel numb. I don’t feel like dd is mine I feel indifferent towards her and am not sure if I love her - I just feel like I should. I’ve tried to go through the motions of playing, cuddling but all she does is cry. I feel like she knows how I feel and hates me. I feel like she and my husband deserve someone better, that I’m a crap Mum and that they’d probably be better off without me. I’m not sure how to fix it and feel so depresssed all the time. Nobody knows how I am feeling and I just don’t know what to do. I’m just the worst person and now I’m starting to neglect myself and I don’t want to be near my daughter. How can I fix this? Sorry for the garbled text - I’m really at rick bottom

Oh lovely, I think you need to go and see your doctor and let him know how you're feeling.

What you’re feeling is not normal, but very common. I’ve been there and it’s crap. First thing tomorrow you need to ring your HV or GP and go and speak to someone. With the right help you will feel better again and enjoy your baby. Trust me.

All of the above. Are you getting out to groups and meeting mums that go through the same struggles ? I had family members telling me there rose tinted anecdotes about how there baby didn't cry.... mine did for hours and hours each day, I met a few mums that said the same and suddenly a weight came off my shoulders

This sounds like classic PND. 'Not normal, but very common' is a very good way of putting it - not normal in the sense that you do not have to put up with feeling like this and these feelings are not 'the truth'.

Thanks for your replies - I did get prescribed anti depressants at my post natal check up but then I saw another doctor for dd check up who said he didn’t think I needed them so I only took a week or twos worth. I haven’t been to any groups, I just can’t face having to put a face on and hear about other mums coping better. I don’t have many friends myself so am at home most of the the time. I do go out for walks as this is when dd sleeps but I feel like I’m willing the time when she is a baby away. I’d like to go back to work but they’ll think it’s weird if I go back early (I’ve taken 12 months may leave). I’ll try the docs again this week. Thanks again for your support x

I was the same when I had my little boy. I was acting out at everyone I wasn't myself I was overly emotional, argumentative and I felt like my son hated me. I don't think it helped with lack of sleep, I was diagnosed with pnd not that doctors did much pretty much diagnosed myself and was me basically telling them in consultation room. Don't think they took it serious as I was 17. Stay strong it does get better go to your GP or is there anyone at all you can talk to. Good luck

Hi Helen, if you don’t want to talk to people in real life about how you’re feeling then come here and tell us. 99% of the time there will be someone else whose felt the same. The thoughts I had about my first born were awful but it’s all a distant memory now. I got through my PND by being open and honest with partner and myself. You will get through this too. Take care.