Age gap between children?

[Newmum26]

We have a little boy who is 1 in two weeks.
We want another baby and know we both want just 2 in total.
But we are in sure if the age gap in between the two?
We want to enjoy him first, but is there pros and cons for a shorter or longer age gap?
Please share your stories with me ☺️

We have a 5 year age gap and it’s wonderful. Our first is independent enough that she can do things for herself when I’m busy with ds. She’s in reception so I get full days at home alone with him, like I did with her. But my mat leave means I’ve been able to be around more as she transitioned to school. She loves him and there is no jealousy as they have very different needs. And I got a lot of time alone just with her before we became a family of 4, which was wonderful. I truly don’t feel stretched and it been so much easier than I expected. Also waiting til dd was in school meant we’ll only ever have one in nursery at a time and makes it easier to consider private school for secondary school (which we’d like to do), as again only one to pay for at a time. It’s been a much larger age gap than most have, but perfect for us. Dd was born when I was 32 and ds at 37 and I had no worries about waiting.

I have 16 months between ds1 and dd, 18 months between dd and ds2 (just under 3yrs between ds1 and ds2) and there will be 6yrs between ds2 and our new baby due in 7 weeks. There will be 9yrs between Ds1 and baby and 8yrs between dd and the baby. I actually found the small age gaps easy in all honesty, it’s this pregnancy that I have struggled with and I am worrying about the other 3 adjusting to having a baby around, especially my 6yr old as he has been the youngest in the family

2 years exactly here. We love it.

I'm not going to lie though the first 6 months were HARD. But once DD2 could crawl/play with things a bit it got easier and has kept getting easier ever since. They are now 4 & 6 and play together all the time and like doing the same things.

Some of that is luck mind....not all siblings get on so well!

Closest gap is 14 months, biggest is 6 years!! Some gaps of 2.9 that which imo was harder than the close gaps!! Depends on the dc anyway.
Whatever you decide get a good bedtime routine before ttc!!

We only have one but if we were to have another we wouldn’t do it until she was at least 5 or so. Small age gaps seem nice in theory but toddlers still need you so much and they’re less capable of understanding why mummy suddenly hasn’t got so much time for them anymore. At 5 they are more independent and more likely to dote on a new baby than feel pushed out.

4 years gap here . I have felt it has worked well. My eldest started school when youngest was 3 months so I got lots of one on one time with youngest. Despite the 4 year gap they play together well most the time although do squabble like all siblings.
Only downside I would say is that sometimes eldest wants to do something and we can't because smallest is too little .

2 years. Bloody hard work in the beginning, although Dd was too young to really notice the disruption to her life(every thing changes constantly when you're 2). Much easier later-same activities, same films, shorter gaps between having them in different schools, childcare expensive but over quicker. I will have a level and gsce hell at the same time as I'll be hitting menopause, but we'll survive.

Ten years for me (different dads!), 12 and 2. For the kids it's fine, my eldest adores his little sister. They each still get plenty of attention, we do things with him each etc. Pros are also that we don't have childcare costs for the eldest any more. There doesn't seem much, if any, sibling rivalry because they are different generations interested in different things, no squabbling over toys etc.

However, for me, it sometimes seem like a life long sentence! By the time my youngest is 18, I'll have spent 28 years of my life raising kids. I would have been starting to get some of my independence back. The sleepless nights are really rough after such a big gap. I'm struggling with two such different stages: toddlerdom and almost teenagerdom, seems like the worst of both worlds. Juggling work and kids is always hard, I have a good career but I only took a promotion because my youngest was 8. Juggling a high pressured job with a toddler who doesn't sleep is really tough.

Ideally, if life had been different, a 4/5 year age gap would have been perfect for me. I love my kids dearly but every day regret the age gap and repercussions.

3.5 years here and it is very difficult. I’m drained by the difficulties it has caused.

A two year gap was perfect for the first 16 years, but now they're taking A-levels and GCSEs at the same time. Still, it's only two months of double stress, so possibly worth it.

There's another 2 year gap and then twins, so in 2020 I'll have three children taking public exams at the same time.

Exactly the same here, second. 4 years between all 4 and they're all able and will to do the same things.

*willing

From what I've heard, there are pros and cons to both. Short gap are harder initially but once out of the hard years they play together and entertain themselves. Bigger gaps are easier initially because you already have a older and more independent and you can spend one on one time with the youngest child while the elder one is at school but entertaining hen can be tough as they both have different wants and needs because they're at two different life stages. I'm plumping for a bigger gap because of it hopefully being easier in the earlier years. A small gap has passed me by now so can't go back lol!

I have 3 yrs between mine and so wish I'd had them much closer together. If I hadn't have had pnd after my first then I would have. It's ok now, but I wish I could pick them both up and plop in the buggy to get places. As it is I have one slooow stubborn 3yo 'walking ' everywhere and it's hard work. Also, he struggled more with the baby than I think he would have if she came sooner.

20 months gap here. They are 3.5 and 1.5 now. I find it very difficult to be honest. They are both extremely demanding and I feel like I don’t satisfy anyone’s needs, least of all my own.

I feel like we come out of one phase with the oldest only to go straight into it with the youngest. It’s exhausting and seemingly endless.

However there are pros. They play with the same toys, watch the same tv etc.

I do feel like the last 3.5 years has been a complete, relentless blur but I’m hopeful that we’re coming out the other side.

If I had my time again, I’d wait until my oldest was at school.

We had exactly 2 years which was hard. A few friends with just a bit more gap (2.5 years) seemed to have it a bit easier. I wanted a small gap so they would be buddies but that hasn't worked out. Had a 4.5 yr gap with the next and it has worked so much better. I had time for number three when DC2 was in reception year. They also play together and DC2 looks out for DC3. Some of it will be luck with personalities. I can only see now that DC1 may have found having DC2 around much harder than we thought. I'd probably go with three years tbh.