Toddler nap routine - no flexibility

[coffeeforone]

DS is almost 2 years old. He consistantly naps for about two hours every afternoon between about 1pm and 3pm.

If we don't put him down in his cot by about 1.30pm he has a complete meltdown/tantrum and will not stop screaming until we do. He will NEVER fall asleep in his pram/car seat like he used to. Two occasions very recently we have been out early afternoon and had to take him home as there was no consoling him.

The first occasion last weekend we had planned to meet some friends for lunch, all with little ones. We met at 12.30pm and DS (who decided he was tired early that day), has a massive tantrum in the car park, we couldn't calm him at all, so had to leave and go home. He fell asleep instantly once he was put in his cot at home. We missed lunch and the others went ahead, those that needed naps just napped in their prams.

Second occasion was a family afternoon at the local racecourse. He just would not stay in his buggy or be carried, was screaming for his cot so had to leave shortly after arriving, again fell asleep the second he got home. We walked past plenty of peacefully napping babies and toddlers as we left, DS kicking and screaming.

He is generally happy and pleasant from waking up at 6.30-7am until after lunch, then he will nap no problem (providing a cot is available!). When he wakes up around 3pm, again he is happy until bedtime at 7.30pm. He does get upset when things don't go his way but usually only very briefly and just needs a distraction from whatever is annoying/upsetting him. The 1pm meltdowns are in a different league and we can't do anything!

He obviously has such a strong association between cot and sleep that he will not sleep anywhere else. We avoid going out in the afternoon until after his nap where possible, but finding it so restrictive. We have to avoid any plans, decline birthday party invites etc that clash with his nap time. We have also just changed a flight so that its' in the morning as we cant face two hours on a plane with him between 1 and 3pm!

Has anyone else been in this situation? Any tips to make his nap time a little more flexible?

And sorry for the long post!

Does he have a special blanket and/or teddy in his cot? If not I would introduce one then you could take them with you when you go out?

Honesty though op some dc just need to have long naps and need them in their beds. It really is a double edged sword as you get no flexibility but on the bright side you get 2 hours to yourself in the afternoon. Also he won't nap like this forever, eventually he just won't need it or at least won't need it every day.

Will he sleep in the car? If so do an outing in the morning and drive back at nap time. I think you just have to plan your life around the nap at that age tbh

Thanks @InDubiousBattle. He does have 2 special soft toys that he sleeps with and asks for at bedtime. But takes them out of the cot with him and plays with him during the day so I think he would never associate them with just sleep.

Maybe I could introduce an additional toy that is for sleep only.

Thanks @MonkeyBrainsInPickle

Yes that would work as he would sleep in the car. I think we do just need to not plan anything for any early afternoon, ever, until he drops his nap!!

It just seems that most other toddlers around will happily nap in their prams! DS used to until a few months ago!

It’s a shame he is also going miss 2 birthday parties coming up as they clash with his nap time!

My DS is very similar-if we miss his nap his nighttime sleep is even worse than usual so I now decline all invites between 12 and 2pm. It’s a little annoying but it won’t last forever and is potentially the trade off for having a child who happily sleeps in his cot and is in a good routine.

My DD is like this at only just two. She sleeps consistently from 1-3pm and from 7-7 at night. She will sleep in her travel cot, so we're ok to go to someone's house for the day, but we're asking for trouble if she try to be 'out'. She has to be in a cot/bed.

We actually did break the routine last week by taking her out for a day as a birthday treat. She wasn't actually too bad in the afternoon as she was very distracted but when we drove back at 4pm (a two hour drive) she screamed for an hour and a half because she was so overtired. That was fun.

To be honest it doesn't bother me. She's only little, it won't be forever and as much as I'd like a bit more flexibility I wouldn't trade it for the 99% guaranteed two hours of peace to myself in the afternoon and a child who consistently sleeps 12 hours without a peep at night. We just go out in the mornings, give her lunch out if needs be then make sure we're home for 1pm. Back out in the afternoon if needed.