Struggling to fill the days as a SAHM with preschooler - help!!

[worried1254]

My 2 yr old no longer naps. I've sort of relied on that to break up the day and see myself through the day and now I feel a bit lost! We have all the usual activities every morning - playgroups, signing, swimming, football but from 11am ish I'm stumped. There is only so much playing he will do. My eldest is also bored after school until tea time. It's becoming such a grind!

We don't have many local friends or family as new to the area so that really isn't helping.

He starts preschool in Sept (3 afternoons a week) and I start back freelancing so that will really help but in the meantime?

I'm feeling SO So bored! Very envious of these Instagram families travelling the world with their little ones. If I have to go to the library or walk round our town one more time I might explode! Any ideas or advice how we can both enjoy this time together more?

Try switching to afternoon activities. So mornings are a bit slow, playing at home, then afternoons when he would be getting bored have something on.

Alternatively, a mid afternoon walk. Take a snack and drink, and a ball. And peas for the ducks if there are any.

Look up nursery play activities online. Prepare one for every afternoon. Things like, ice cubes and jelly in a tray. Play figures hidden in sand. Water with a straw and some bubbles. Bring the activity out when DC are starting to get restless.

What stuff do you do together at home? At that age (assuming coming up to 3) we were planting stuff in the garden, cooking and doing chores together too.

Meeting up with friends and having play dates also passes the time.

Sorry a bit hopeless....we have to walk places to by the time we get where ever we're going and then done the "thing" we're doing we've nearly run out of time anyway.

You need play dates so you can gossip with the parents while the kids annoy/play with each other.

Try making a huge effort at your scheduled activities to talk and make friends. Put yourself out there. It’s hard to do but worth it!

Then eventually one parent says ‘let’s have a play date one of these days’. If the response is positive, you wait a week and suggest a few dates. Eventually you find a nice group or a one person who you get along with and it feels like having colleagues!

Now it’s summer, try going to the park every 2 days with a balance bike to teach him to cycle.

Do you have a garden? Lots of garden things - plant seeds, make a small mud kitchen, put a large bowl and wash random toys, help wash windows. Baking / cooking tea. Make a den inside or outside. Have tea parties with dolls. Teach them to scoot / ride a balance bike. Go swimming. Do crafts - although 2 is young for much. Play doh. Go on a longer "adventure" on the train or bus - to a different town / playground / supermarket.

I second cooking and gardening, I would do the usual groups a few mornings and then lunch, after lunch it would be play time or helping me bake cakes (even if it was only a little stir, he would be watching me), gardening, he can hold the bag while you weed.

Also, dont underestimate just plonking him down on the floor and letting him have his toys out - I would help ds make a train track with his brio and he would happily play while I watched from the couch with a cuppa. You dont always "have" to be doing something iyswim.

@picklemepopcorn great idea re: afternoons instead but have struggled to find afternoon activities - swimming is the only one I've found in my area.

Do understand the suggestions to do chores, cooking & gardening but have tended to avoid (other than essential chores & essential basic cooking) as he is quite a 'difficult' kid - not helpful, will ruin rather than aid and I end up frustrating. I'm going to give it another go though as there are things to be done especially in the garden and I have wanted to bake some flapjacks.

I think I do need to shift my mindset now until he goes to school - nows the time to start really getting some stuff done that I've put off - gardening, sorting cupboards etc and maybe he can help and I'll also feel like I'm actually achieving something with my day.

Can anyone recommend a balance bike?? - I love that idea!

@DustOffYourHighestHopes - you are so right! I know that's what's missing as on the odd occasions we do see someone in the afternoon it's lovely and the day speeds by. I also think my eldest would really benefit from after school play dates now but she hasn't been invited and I'm not sure how to approach other parents about this even though I am superficially friendly with other mums in her class.

Sounds a lot like our routine, we only seem to get to a activities in the morning. Dd due to start nursery in sept. For the afternoons we do painting (on a big mat so limits mess) sandpit/water play (will allow you to do some stuff in the garden)food shop, looking at books. Normally get to about 4/5 and then we have a bit of CBeebies . But my dd is very independent in her play so I do manage to get a lot done around the house. Good luck, it’s really not long to go until Sept!

Ive got a 2.4 year old who sometimes naps and sometimes doesn't. She's at nursery 3 days a week so I only have to 'do' 2 days on my own with her before family stuff at weekends.

I try and make the most of the mornings - so we go to toddler groups that are on 10-12. Or go swimming at a similar time. By the time we've done some shopping and walked home from that it's 1pm so lunchtime. At 2pm she either goes down for a nap or has to sit or play quietly in her cot - I put a couple of books and quiet toys in with her.

She's usually awake or wanting to do something else by 4pm, so has a snack, then we get some play-doh out, or a jigsaw or look at books or play in the garden. Sometimes she helps with matching socks in the laundry or something like that. I start cooking tea at about 5.15. Sometimes she 'helps' or has a bowl of washing up water to play with, sometimes she plays on her own. Tea is at about 6pm, then bed at 7.

I find that breaks the day up enough. Even if she hasn't slept she seems to need the quiet time in the middle of the day to recharge a bit - they do the same at nursery so any kids that don't nap do quiet activities.

When we look after our 2 and a half year old granddaughter 1 day a week we tend to go out in the morning to soft play or toddler gym session or the park or out in the garden if the weather is nice. After lunch if she doesn't nap we do things like playdough, playing with water and bubbles, cooking/ painting or colouring, crafts or games/puzzles/books and toys. She does nursery 3 part days a week though and other grandparents 1 day and my DD takes her on playdates when not working so she has a variety of other things going on in the week.

All credit to SAHMs in that it is hard going entertaining a toddler on your own every day. Playgroups,playdates and swimming are good too. Will the eldest and 2 year old play games like lotto or snap together with you or read stories/play lego or duplo? Or kick a ball around in the garden or play catch? C beebies or kids youtube as a last resort?

@Cornishclio sounds like she has the perfect mix! That's the problem really when it solely down to one person it's a bit much. It really does take its toll on me :(

That's the problem really when it solely down to one person it's a bit much. It really does take its toll on me

Yes, definitely. I think I returned to work when my youngest was 2 because I found it soul destroyingly boring and hard work entertaining my two toddlers and they gained from going to a childminder and I had some adult company and a little bit of extra money. Is him going to nursery for a few afternoons a week an option now and you do some freelancing earlier than September or are you waiting for the 15/30 free hours to kick in after his third birthday?

One thing we have found with our 2 year old granddaughter is that even if she sometimes does not nap she is happy to sit up in her bed in our house and read books or sing to her dolls and teddies. It is just quiet time on her own even if only for 45 minutes or so. As long as she is not crying we see that as her rest and alone time and she does sometimes nap particularly if we have done lots of running around in the morning. That would give you a bit of a break.

@worried1254 I'm pretty sure the mess of baking is supposed to be frustrating, or is it just me that's internally screaming? My 6 year old is still like this but if I had never done it then she would never know how to do it and she would never get any better at it. Make really simple things. Don't look recipes up on the spot - put one together with pictures and simple measurements (e.g. 1 cup of) and then he can follow it with you. You get everything out beforehand so that there's not too much chaos. You also buy child friendly cooking things.

Top tip: don't clean the kitchen and then think "hmmm it would nice to do baking with DS". You will want to kill yourself.