Sexual comments - Year 5

[CaptainGreen]

I have namechanged.

My year 5 child has come home from school today and said that child A said to child B ‘you’re going to rape xxx in 10 years time’.

Child B then hit mine and then said ‘sorry, I’m fed up with everyone thinking I’m a paedo’.

Child A has said inappropriate things before. These have been of a sexual nature, homophobic and also violent. He has also acted out sex acts.

Child B has also been very inappropriate before. These have been mainly of a sexual nature and no homophobic talk. He has acted out sexual acts before as well.

I assume both Child A and B are exposed to inappropriate things at home (not related, live opposite sides of town). I’ve raised this with the school before and they say all the right things but I’ve had enough now and want to protect my child.

How would you deal with this? Am I wrong to say that I don’t want my child left with them unsupervised?

TIA

Anyone?

How can you expect them to supervise the child all the time? A teacher sit with them at lunch and play with them in the playground?
Does your DC actually want to be friends with these kids?
If the school are following safeguarding procedure then I don't actually know what you can do. I'm betting social services are involved.

I'd be much more concerned about the other children's lives, than any possible risk of leaving my child to them. This sounds like highly worrying behaviour and needs reporting to the safeguarding lead of the school. If no joy I'd go straight to the governors. Who knows what those children are going home to every evening.

Talk to your child about what these words mean and why they are not appropriate to use.

Talk to schools safeguarding officer about what has been said.

I think I would be contacting social services at the council as a matter of urgency.
The parents of these children need to be spoken to, investigated before any harm is done.
Sounds to me there is a problem in the child's home.

I am of course worried for the two boys too. This is why I’ve reported issues before to the school (numerous teachers, safeguarding person etc).

No they don’t want to be friends with them but in primary they’re together all the time, except for break and lunch. Sometimes they play with them if it’s a big group game but they don’t seek each other out.

Do I just keep reporting it like I have been over the years? Nothing changes after I’ve spoken to school.

ginger- I have had to talk to them about it as they were asking me what rape was. I really didn’t want them to be finding out about rape etc at their age but I’ve had no choice but to explain it to them.

Vicky - I know children’s services at the council have been notified by another parent before and still the behaviour continues.

Unfortunately the school will follow procedure but don't have the power to change whatever is happening in these poor kids' lives to make them say stuff like this.
You can report direct to SS but I bet they know already.
You can maybe ask for your child to work with someone else in class if they're upset by this. And ensure they feel able to continue to talk to you about stuff they hear that bothers them.
Worth keeping a record of what and when? The school also have a duty of care to safeguard your child.

Wolfie - I know the school aren’t allowed to update you (understandably) after you’ve reported concerns to safeguarding, and I don’t doubt that the school are following procedures,

Sorry, posted too soon.

They have pretty much said to me before that they can’t control what is happening at home and how the parents deal with these issues.

But they do have a duty of care to your child. How are they safeguarding your child?
It would be better to sort out the issue with these kids. They can't. They won't. Focus on your child. They shouldn't have to be hearing this.

They’re not really. So much has gone on in my child’s whole time at Primary school, I do feel like they’ve been let down by the school.

I will speak to the teacher about this latest incident but also email in so there is a paper trail. I will also go back to keeping a diary again.

Thanks for your responses.

Don't focus on the other kids. Always focus on yours. What are they doing to safeguard your child? If they can't answer then follow complaints procedure.
Sounds grim TBH. Y6 soon then onwards and out!

If school aint listening have a private word with parents..a lot will not agree buy i been there with mine and when school done nothing i had private word and it seemed to work..not kicking off but enough is enough..its disgusting that any child of that age speaks like that and parents shiuld be dragged up on it..dont be aftaid to let them know that unfortunately you cannot easily remove your child but that behaviour is unacceptabke ans have a word..chances are they will feel embarrassed and moat likely yh hte your ass but actually pipe up and tell child a and b that its shameful..do not hold your tongue because its YOUR CHILD That will suffer and change if you keep schumt

No. Don't speak to parents. Home could be where this is coming from. You have no idea. You could even put these kids at risk of physical harm.