How can I become warmer and calmer as a person for DCs sake?

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From all the parenting advice I gather it's best for DC (I have a 5 months old) to be very warm as a person, and to stay calm in stressful situations say tantrums. I wish I could be that person for my DC but I find my personality is naturally a bit more reserved... kind of business like maybe? And in stressful situations I lose my patience easily and find it hard to stay calm and collected. I love my DC to bits and tell her everyday and cuddle and play lots, make funny faces, laugh etc, and also I'm reading books about how best to talk to DCs when they're older and manage tantrums etc. But it's made me start to worry that what if in the end I won't manage because I'm not naturally like that? If that's the case, what can I do to change as a person to become warmer and calmer than I am now?

I don’t really have much advice but I think it’s brilliant when people can identify parts of their own personality that need improving. Or can look at the way they dealt with a situation and analyse it and improve for the future. I think that’s what makes a good parent. Seeing what works and what doesn’t rather then just ploughing on assuming you are right in your actions.

There are some good positive parenting courses/books/websites and these are a good place to start if you want to look at calm, loving discipline techniques.

Thank you for your encouraging message! I'll see whether I can find anything.

OP - i could have written this. In terms of remaining calm, I remind myself over and over ‘you are the adult here, behave like it’. It really helps me remember what my role needs to be.
When it comes to being ‘warmer’ I realised that when we do things that are more ‘my area’ I find it easier to be fun/warm etc - so now I make a point of being ‘active mum’ and doing all the walks, swimming etc and let my husband take the lead in other areas. Play to your strengths...

That's great advice too, thank you so much Jonty!

I think all parents struggle with patience in the face of tantrums :-) I think the fact you're even thinking of it makes you a great mum tbh

Agree with previous poster, play to your strengths... If you love craft do that, if you love activity do that, if you love science then do that :-)

You might find that as your child grows, you rebalance your calmness in response to behaviours. A sort of natural progression for you both. You might find she'll be able to read your signs (eg starting to lose it!) as she gets older and know when she's overstepped the line. Don't worry if neither happen, there are other tactics that can help. Here are some I used: leave the room to get away and have some calm space for a couple of mins. Picking my battles (some things aren't worth losing it over). Giving a warning after misbehaviour and following through if it's done again. Chilling out and trying to see the world through the child's eyes. Sometimes it's fun being up to no good. Get done time away on your own or with friends. I always felt calmer and more centred when I'd had my own space.

My ds is almost on double didgets and I don't hide my feelings from him as much now when he pisses me off. He needs to know that how he treats people can have consequences (makes them sad/angry), thus encouraging empathy.

With regards to being warmer, it reads to me that you are indeed warm and loving with your child. Just keep on doing what you're doing. Oh, and like another poster recommended, do stuff with your child that you love doing. Sharing lovely experiences will keep you both happy and close.

Thank you for these brilliant tips, sosad .

Chilling out and trying to see the world through the child's eyes.
I think that's exactly what I hope I'll manage to do!