Dear All
I wanted to know if anyone of you can relate to my feelings as a parent?
Being a parent myself, having had the experience of feeling at times completely alone, isolated (even though I had a social circle), it was difficult with my twins.
I found myself in a space where I probably felt slightly depressed, some mornings, dreading the day, as I feared what could go wrong and being so responsible in that role.
I tried to tell my dear hubby how I felt, but when I heard the door close in the mornings as he went off to work, I always felt a sense of abandonment. He was able to walk away and I wasn't.
I never sought help for myself, as it was the last thing on my mind.
What I needed was an ear to bend. Yes, I had my friends but I felt as a multiple parent, all I did was moan and that they got bored of hearing it so I kept it to myself.
I wanted to be the perfect parent, baby swimming, nct Baby massage, coffee morning meeting ups, playdays. All of this was great but when I got home, that was the 'real' me, waiting for 6.30pm; for my hubby to come home, turning my fear off, allowing me to breathe again...
I am not sure if this a familiar story to you all out there, but the reason I am telling you this is, as my children got older (now nearly 15), I retrained and became a qualified therapist. Reflecting back on my situation I could not see my how my mood was affecting me.
Sometimes I wonder why I did not seek therapy? Why as parents do we not consider ourselves?
I did go to the doctor, at times crying my eyes out, about how I was feeling and being offer meds for 'depression' ; which I felt due to my responsibilities were not even an option and I struggled through...
and seeing the midwife once a week did not help either.
As I mother, I think I lost 'me' in the process, I lost my confidence to feel I could trust my judgement and instead of looking inwards to see what a great mother I was, and this miracle of having a multiple birth (after being told due to gynae issues due to endometriosis that I would not conceive at all), I could not appreciate what I had, and found myself looking back at beautiful photos (at the time) and remembering the pain rather than the happiness..
I suppose another thing which may have stopped me seeking out help, was I felt therapy was for people with 'real' problems...? oh! and my doctor never offered this to me.
I wanted to open a discussion for everyone, as you are all parents {and if you relate to my story}, to ask for your time and help in understanding how or why we do not consider help or therapy as an option? what stops us?
In my situation, I just think the idea never crossed my mind...what would I do with my babies, would the counsellor understand what I was talking about??
I had my friends but I still felt unhappy?
What are your thoughts? 
Nikki