Would you let your daughter have a sleepover at this friends house?

[aguiltyfeminist]

My Dd (12) has been invited for a sleepover at a friends house in two weeks time. No other kids invited. I have never particularly encouraged this friendship as the child has always been quite difficult especially at my DDs parties. She has to have a drama and becomes very self absorbed. She has never been here other than for a party with other kids.
The thing is that I find her mother just awful. She is racist, self absorbed and just talks at people. I don't like her constant moaning and find it very draining.
Anyway all this is not the child's fault and I imagine the poor child is very much a product of very negative mothers behaviour.
My daughter would like to go though, I would really prefer her not to go but haven't really got a good reason.

Shall I just let her go ?

I probably wouldn't. I'd be worried that my daughter would be getting the message that racism is acceptable.

My dd has a friend who's dm I don't like, I let dd decide about the arrangements as at secondary school I felt she was mature enough to. She only slept once - had a massive issue with the night and actually involved outside bodies. (not about my dd fortunately) I don't regret giving dd the decision to make though. She now knows hers - and my - reservations were correct. Lesson regarding judgment well learned.