How do bf mums manage it all?!

[Sunshine567]

I’m interested in how you mums actually function. I have 5yo and 6month old and I’m not at all. I breastfed my 5yo for first 6months and she slept through the night from about 10weeks (she did have a dreamfeed bottle). I’m breastfeeding dd2 and she is definitely not the same! She refuses bottle completely. I managed to get my lo to start feeding every 2hrs instead of every 45mins to 1.5hrs during the day (which she has been doing since birth) but she must be going through growth spurt as she has reverted back. At night, she can go 3.5hrs to 4hrs (so I know she can do it!) to begin with and then after that it’s every 1.5/3hrs. I’m beyond exhausted, cranky, feel awful as I dont spend any proper time with my 5yo, my house is an absolute mess and I feel like I hardly get to speak to my OH. How do others manage? I’ve still got 6months until I’m back at work but I’m stressed right out about it so don’t feel like I’m enjoying the rest of the time I have left

It's hard isn't it, but hopefully you're coming to the end of the worst of it. DD2 was similar in that she wouldn't take a bottle and would wake 7, 8, 9 times a night, every night, usually for a feed. I had a 2 yo to deal with as well.

You really need to get your OH to let you have a lie in at the weekend. Stay in bed, get him to bring the baby if she needs a feed a couple of hours after waking when she'll probably have another nap anyway. And try at least once a week to go to bed when the baby does so you can at least get 3-4 hours of unbroken sleep.

And try not to worry about the housework - I'm not good at following my own advice but you need to let your standards slip.

Me and my partner each have a lie in on the weekend so i catch up on sleep then. however we are lucky that baby (11weeks) sleeps well, and since moving her to her own room last week she sleeps from 7pm-3am then straight back to sleep after 15min feed until 7am.

My baby has never woken more than twice a night since she was born and feeds efficiently
If she us just sucking and not swollowing for a couple of minutes then i take her off the breast as she's not feeding so our feeding sessions are generally 15mins or less.

My lo snacks during the day. She generally stops feeding after 5mins, sometimes even less and no matter what I do she won’t go back on so that’s why she probably feeds so often during day. Complete opposite unfortunately at night when she feeds for 20-30mins multiple times and therefore I need to change her nappy a lot more too. I’m just at a loss - dreamfeeding my 5yo when she was a baby didn’t last long and by this age she was sleeping from 7.30-9am! I guess you really don’t get 2 babies the same!

7.30-9am is very very good in a baby that young! I think you were lucky.
I have three.
My first was quite a good sleeper and started sleeping through at around 6 months 7-7ish with a little encouragement.
Few ups and downs but has generally been a good sleeper since.
Second DC was dreadful sleeper. Also wouldn’t take bottle no matter what I tried. Only slept through occasionally before 18 months. And really only consistently at about 2.5 (although had long finished feeding so it wasn’t that).
Third DC started well, went through a major regression between 4 and 7 months where he woke many times a night. Then slowly got better over next couple months and is now sleeping through 7.30-7 at 10 months with no night feeds.
It’s tough, you have my sympathy.
Does she have a decent nap in the morning when your other DC is at school? You could take an occasional nap??

Hi I have a 6 month old DD and 3.5 year old DS and am in a similar boat. DD was doing 8 hour stretches at 3 months old, but when the 4 month sleep regression hit she started waking every 1-2 hours and hasn't stopped . She also wakes up a couple of times in the evening and from about midnight can't settle unless she is in our bed. I am knackered to be honest. It is even worse at the moment as DS is in a real cranky phase and is demanding me all the time. This means I can't even get a lie in at the weekend, and the past two evenings I've had to lie on his floor until he fell asleep. I have had a nap with DD a few times when DS has been at nursery, but there isn't always much point as DD often only naps for half an hour. During the day she feeds about every 3 hours, but I do usually feed her to sleep on top of that too for naps. ..

I remember with DS his sleep suddenly improved around 7 months (although he was bottle fed). I hope that happens with DD too, but more likely I will just be disappointed.

Puzzled by tiny babies apparently sleeping 12-14 hours in one stretch? The midwife told me I mustn't let DS sleep more than 6 hours without a feed as his blood sugar will drop; she said it's bad if he sleeps for too long because it can mean his blood sugar has dropped too low for him to be able to wake up properly. Also wondering how mum can sleep for that long without being woken by painful leaky breasts?

Sounds like reverse cycling - some tips here on Kellymom.

Start weaning. Bet she's ready. DS1 was actually worse than this at 5 months. Getting only 3 hours broken sleep a night, I finally cracked and did a mixture of purée and finger food (BLW was still quite new then). His sleeping improved immediately. He went from under 21st weight percentile to 98th in the space of a month. When I started putting chicken in the fruit/veg puree he slept through for the first time and continued to do so. The research says that babies don't sleep badly because they're hungry and they're ready to wean. IME with DC1 this is bollocks.

@TinaTop Also wondering how mum can sleep for that long without being woken by painful leaky breasts?

Your supply adjusts to as and when your baby feeds. I only get leaky breasts if i miss a feed at a time she fed the previous day or two like when i give a bottle of expressed milk. Like i said, i've never fed more than twice overnight and now i'm down to once a night my supply has adjusted

I have dc aged 4.5, 2.5 and 6 months. Baby feeds on demand and older two have various groups we go to or stuff we do that differs every day so don't really have a strict nap or feeding schedule. He's taking a fair bit of "real" food now but not to the detriment of bf! I know some people would be irritated by my approach but I just go with the flow. I stick the wee one in the sling and Hoover, dust, laundry etc. Older kids can help with tidying etc. House isn't too horrendous at the moment. Just the laundry is a bugger when weaning, toilet training and sickness bug are all happening at the same time! My Dh is good at teamwork though so it isn't all on me and I certainly don't take full responsibility for all the household tasks. I suspect that's the key. Mental load is worse than physical load.

Things may improve if you start weaning?

OP I have a baby the same age who will not take a bottle! It's exhausting isn't it. He feeds every 2 hours and will only fall asleep in the boob.i usually get away with 2 night feeds but sometimes he has a night where he's up hourly. I have a 2.5 yo too.

I'm not sure how I cope. I think by telling myself that I can get through this relatively short phase of life! I started solids this weekend and I'm hoping that will make a difference, once he gets going with it a bit.

I have a 15 month old and a three month old. My expectations of my day are to do one load laundry and empty the dishwasher so I can then stack as I go. I aim to do that first thing after ds2 has had a big feed and while ds1 is in his highchair. Doesn't always get done but if it doesn't, I don't care. Fil Hoover's and mops for me once a week. As far as I'm concerned, it'll do. So I definitely don't do it all

You need to stop comparing your two- you'll drive yourself mad! It sounds like your youngest is a much more 'normal' BF baby IME so you do need to accept that.

As for how to cope - cosleeping! Even if you don't want to do it at night and your DD settles in her cot, at least get one good cosleeping nap in your bed every day to give yourself a chance to rest. For me that was always the lunchtime nap because I had 2 under 2 so we've always all slept then.

You really don't want to be trying to manipulate her feeds too much. Stretching to 3-4 hours is too much for most BF babies during the day, yes it would be great if she'd do that at night! As for 'snacky feeding' that's quite normal. They get much more efficient so don't feed for as long but they will feed regularly - just as adults are unlikely to go an hour or two without having a sip of water.

You're not far off weaning but I wouldn't hope that that's going to be 'the answer'. It might help, but don't get your hopes up too much. Purées are very low cal and BLW are unlikely to eat very much in the early days so she will need as much milk as now. For me it started to ease off by about 9mo with both of mine, although they both continued to feed throughout the night.

Also you are only changing dirty nappies overnight? There shouldn't be any need to change wet ones overnight. I used to feed DS lying down in bed whilst DH changed his nappy in the early months so that I didn't have to get up and wake myself up any more than necessary.

Thanks for all the advice. tinatop you’re only under care of Midwife for 1st 2 weeks so I agree babies are too young at that age to sleep so long but my lo was sleeping through at 6months which is older. I didn’t say I slept through all night - I only bf for 6 months with dd1 and as she slept longer and longer leading up to all night I would have to get up and express and slowly reduced so my supply regulated to what she needed.
Allthatmalarkey I started weaning about 2weeks ago and so far she’s not really taking much - she spits most of it out but it’s still early days!