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Parenting

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Original poster

I'm sure it's my hormones but I always feel really sad when I read about a tiny baby being left to cry...

27 replies

LadyTophamHatt · 11/05/2007 21:50

they just want to be cuddled.
I know its draining having a baby scream in your ear all day but thats all they want.

IMO and IME anyway.

It breaks my heart to leave DS4 crying for longer than a minute.

Maybe I'm a soft touch.

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Piffle · 11/05/2007 21:51

yes you are I've given up with ds tonight
Even cuddling him makes him roar
He is just so effing tired but will not submit
He is currently in talks with his father.

JodieG1 · 11/05/2007 21:54

I agree with you. It really upsets me to hear a baby crying alone. I've never been able to do that with mine and never wanted to.

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 11/05/2007 21:55

I think Ds4 is an incredibly easy baby.

maybe I'm being spoilt bacyuse he just love me and his balnket and to be cuddled with it.
No-one else can do it as well as me tnough.

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Piffle · 11/05/2007 21:56

Well I'd have starved to death with ds1 then
And it is nigh on impossible to bath your other kids while holding a baby
or put them on the toilet
make their lunch
hang out washing
drive the car without pulling over
I mean come on, sometimes they just have to

FiveFingeredFiend · 11/05/2007 21:56

when i hear a baby on the telly i turn it off.

I detest hearing babies cry it makes me regress into the horrible time i had when i had babies. I feel nothing for the child and need to get away quickly.

foxinsocks · 11/05/2007 21:58

yes, I must admit, hearing a baby cry makes me want to run away . We were sat near a screeching baby in a restaurant and it was driving me mad - this, even though I had the most screamy babies ever!

foxinsocks · 11/05/2007 21:59

but I think it's lovely that your ds4 gets lots of cuddles .

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 11/05/2007 22:00

I have stopped the car a few times, piffle.

and gave the older Dses very very late lunches.

have hoiked them ina nd out of teh bath one handed...

God, that bloody rod is getting thicker by the minute

OP posts:

Tatties · 11/05/2007 22:03

I find it very hard to listen to a baby crying. Nearly every time I am out there is a baby screaming in a shop and it always upsets me a bit (not judging anyone here, btw, just how it makes me feel)

I don't think you are a soft touch LTH

Original poster

LadyTophamHatt · 11/05/2007 22:07

Oh god, no...me neither tatties.

Not judging at all.

I just feel so sad listening to baby cry.

OP posts:

Wallace · 11/05/2007 22:09

A friend of mine has just had her first baby. She has given him a dummy, she says "She has better things to do than sit and breastfeed all day" I wish I could say to her that she should cherish this special time (hark, listen to me ) and just sit and feed as much as the baby wants. She will look back in years to come and realise that, actually, she didn't have better things to do

kiskidee · 11/05/2007 22:14

why do people like the one wallace mention have babies? [grr]

i remember seeing a mum desperately wanting to continue to bf but was also trying to get her dd on a 'routine'. she was embarrassed to feed in front of 2 bfing mums at a bf support group. when her dd began to cry to be fed, she hurridly bundled her in her pushchair and left.

i broke down sobbing after she left and i wasn't full of hormones either!

northender · 11/05/2007 22:25

I've got softer in my old age! Did used to let ds cry alone (my own misguided version of cc) but never did with dd and it was much less stressed myself.

Might have known I'd see you on this thread kkd . How are you?

kerala · 11/05/2007 22:27

Yes - I was with a friend who was trying to enforce a "routine" on a 2 week old. The baby was crying and rooting to be bf but my friend looked at her watch and said "not for another 40 minutes".

I burst into tears after they left and even my dh was upset and shaken.

kiskidee · 11/05/2007 22:28

Hi northender. not seen much of you lately. real fine. i take it you have been peeking at some of my posts?

i got back my results for my training module today. i passed. she said it was 'an excellent module'. off to shine my halo.

morocco · 11/05/2007 22:32

mmm I was like that with ds1 and wish I hadn't been so anal about it all. but babies are a whole new ball game really and I still thought I was the one in charge lol. but I wish I could tell other mums how much I regret it and am much softer with dd1. mind you, she still cries and we don't pay her much attention (running round doing other stuff with her in sling usually) but I'd never dream of doing the clock watching thing now for feeds for example. it does make me feel sad to read about babies left to cry now

liquidclocks · 11/05/2007 22:35

wallace - not everyone feels that 'instinct' with their babies - I didn't with DS1 and if he was happy with his dummy then great. I wasn't a 'natural' mother, not everyone is.

It is hard to hear a baby crying but there does come a point where you know that if you just put them down and leave them for a few minutes they'll be asleep but if you keep 'trying to comfort them' you're prolonging the crying and actually you're doing it not for the baby, but to make yourself not feel guilty for 'leaving' them.

Car journeys are a nighmare too - what do you do, stop the car every 2 minutes or just get there as quick as you can?

JodieG1 · 11/05/2007 22:44

Kerala - oh that must have been awful seeing babies rooting to be fed but being left is just horrible to watch Especially when it would be so easy just to feed them, so sad.

Gemmitygem · 12/05/2007 03:29

liquidclocks, I totally agree. DS is 7 months, on a routine since 2 weeks, never 'left to cry' or made to wait for food when he was hungry, but sometimes when going to bed he did have a little cry and then dropped off, and I made myself wait 5-10 mins before going to him cos I knew he was just tired and needed to drop off. Of course a baby's crying goes through you like a knife as a mother, and it's the way they communicate what is wrong and you are programmed to respond, but sometimes they just have a whinge like anyone else, and it's perfectly fine IMO to have a shower or do whatever it is you have to do, as long as they're getting plenty of food, cuddles and attention in general. It's no coincidence I think that my friends with babies who go to them the split second they make a noise, or rock them to sleep etc, are the same ones who are still up 10 times a night with them (and I truly believe that's not great for either mum's sanity or baby)... So maybe I'm not a soft touch, but I sometimes think it's the mum who clings to the baby rather than the other way round. that's just me, if others are happy holding babs all the time that's fine, but I think I'm a better mum if I have a bit of time to myself (I stress: a bit)!

hedonia · 12/05/2007 03:31

how come you are so lucid at this time of night..you need sleep!

hedonia · 12/05/2007 03:32

i do think that letting babies cry can have a detrimental effect later in life..i really do..

hedonia · 12/05/2007 03:34

i was never a natural mother but i could never leave them to cry.

Sakura · 12/05/2007 03:35

Yes it upsets me a lot too. There was a woman in a shop the other day, with no other children, just a little newborn in a pram. It was screaming its little head off. I heard it from behind another isle, and I could tell by the sound of the crying that the woman was not going to pick the baby up. I went to investigate, because I couldnt stand it. She was just wandering about, not doing anything in particular and not in hurry. Then she idled over to the register to pay and the little baby sounded like it was in shock, because it kept screaming but then with long pauses. I wanted to say, oh, can I hold your baby, but I had DD with me and I couldnT pick up another one. Then I thought, the woman probably doesnt think there is anything weird about it anyway, so I would just end up looking stupid, and I have made a promise with myself not to criticise other peoples parenting choices etc, but this one particular issue makes me

hedonia · 12/05/2007 03:35

hey you still up?

hedonia · 12/05/2007 03:36

i always picked my babies up when they cried and put them to the breast,,they were all easy and lovely

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