Bottle refusing baby (4m) and shared leave from 8m

[prettygirlincrimsonrose]

DS (4 months) is EBF and not interested in expressed milk. We've both tried feeding him at a few different times/levels of hunger. So far only tried a couple of Tommy Tippee closer to nature teats with different flow rates. He has drunk from a bottle, once with no real problem (at 6 weeks) and since then once when very hungry after getting upset (only time I've gone out and DH thought they'd be OK, but I don't want to keep putting him through that). Otherwise he pushes the bottle away, turns his head and generally rejects teat. Obviously we could try other brands but there are so many variables I'm concerned about spending lots of money without knowing if the specific teat is the problem (is that usually what it comes down to?).

I'm fine breastfeeding him, it doesn't hurt anymore and at the moment I get a couple of 3 hour blocks of sleep most nights so I'm OK with doing all night feeds. I'd like the occasional evening/day out but I can wait. The problem is I'm going back to work at 8 months and DH is taking shared leave, so even with weaning, DH will need to be able to give him something to drink.

Is it better to persist with trying to get him taking a bottle now, when it's not essential and he gets upset until he's fed by me, or do we wait until closer to when I go back to work and hope weaning/general development makes things easier (but recognising it probably won't). Any advice?

I was worried about this too as my baby refused to take more than about half an oz from a bottle. I went back to work when she was 9 months. We started giving her water from a sippy cup when we began weaning, and around 7 months we started occasionally giving her milk from a cup too. I still express at work for her, she has milk before her naps. She doesn’t take loads but she’s not too bad. I just think I could have bought every bottle going, it would have been a waste ( I had tried 3 different types),

We’ve just been through the same, my son has eventually taken a NUK bottle and I’ve had o be careful to ensure the milk is warmed properly. It’s been a struggle for 3 months to get to this - he’s 7 months now

Give him a munchkin 360 cup at 6 months. I love the doidy, but it’s open and I found the munchkin much easier when they’re little because they like to launch things everywhere and it stops him being drenched every drink!

Dd had this from 6 months, took a few weeks to get used to it, but loved it now and happily drinks milk and water from it. I’m still breastfeeding, but it means she will have a drink when I’m not there.

It’s plenty of time to get this sorted. My dd never had a bottle and I went back to work when she was nine months old. We used straw cups instead of sippy ones that needed tipping up!

I feel your pain, my LG refused any bottle until 6 months, and I tried every teat and trick in the book.

What worked for us was heating the milk; really heating it; 25 sec in the microwave (I’d tried in a jug of boiled water but that didn’t get it warm enough).

May be worth trying.

Looking back; I was so stressed about her not taking it; when I wish I had just embraced the BF times. Hard to believe now!

Good luck; I’m sure it will resolve itself in time.

trying29 that struggle is what I'm worried about, I don't want months of miserable evenings while we try and crack this when breastfeeding is fine and less stressful, but I know DH wants to be able to feed him and at some point I'd like a full night's sleep/an evening off

I thought I had a battle on my hands- my baby took bottle at 3 weeks no probs and then 6 with a bit of coaxing and then at 9 weeks could not get anything down- tried about 4 times.

Changed teat to number 3 at 11 weeks and took little feeds, but needed lots of cajoling and only really an ounce or two at a time.
Now the break through... gave him a dummy for the first time yesterday and he took it after me holding it in a bit.
Gave him a bottle today and he guzzled the whole lot down at a super fast speed (12 weeks). I have to go back to work in two months so I'm really pleased!

Does he have a dummy?

Could be worth a try, it is like the dummy has given him the skill to suck the bottle.

Haven’t read the thread but my ds refused bottles and still went to Nursery at 6mo. I started him on food two weeks early and particularly emphasised porridge made up with bm and yoghurts and dairy. I also let him learn to use a free flow lidded cup for water from 5mo by letting him shake it about (he needed to do it himself, wouldn’t let me hold it). By 6mo he was eating fine and drinking water in a cup. He bf morning and early evening (I collected him at 4 for the first month) and late evening (and once in the night till 10mo.) he thrived no problem.

I was stressed out of my mind about this when he was 4-5mo but wish I’d just given up on bottles earlier.

At a year he was eating better than most and I didn’t have to try to wean him off bottles like many friends did.

My bottle refuser took to the very cheap ones from Tesco (about £1 and they include bottle and teat) as the teat was so soft.
A midwife had recommended them due to the softness of the teat and a few other people have had success with them.

My bed 11mo drinks water and milk from an open cup, and has done since weaning. Much easier than a bottle, give it a try x

Ds2 did this when I went back to work at 6 months . Annoyingly, he was fine taking a bottle when he was tiny so there's no guarantees starting early either.

It was actually ok. He was on solids so wasn't relying on milk. He took some water and occasionally some formula (I gave up pretty quickly on expressing as it was such a waste) from a cup during the day, and would have a massive bf when I got home at night and at bed time as well as first thing in the morning.

The downside was that for a few weeks he went back to feeding like a newborn through the night which was exhausting. I think it was partly not taking milk during the day and partly because he wasn't used to us being apart so much.

By a month in, the night waking stopped and he was drinking from a cup. We stopped bf completely at 15 months but by then it was just a bedtime feed.

If you're going back at 8 months then you'll be further down the solids route than we were so I'd taking things easy just now and just try every now and then.

Don’t worry, 8 months is really different from 4 months. As others said, a cup at that age should be fine

Museumum has a point and at 9 months the bottle issue would be less of a problem.

But.. like you I wanted to be able to be away from baby just for a little while, and whilst I still am here to breast feed him, it feels good knowing I can get away and have some time to yourself.

Perhaps persevere a little first, but don't get too hung up about it.
Some things people told me:

Someone other than you should feed with bottle.
Try to do it first feed of the day.
Baby should be ready for a bottle, but not too hungry
Feed in a place where not usually breastfed
Don't hold baby in the same way you would hold it if on the breast
Try a faster flowing teat than usual- so perhaps if baby is 4 months try a teat for 5 or 6 months plus. Though I've also read that too fast can be a choking hazard!
I read something about giving baby a tiny bit of diluted apple juice just to get acquainted with teat- apparently this causes no harm to baby. I'm not sure I'd feel happy about this though.

Think that is the link that talks about apple juice trick

www.breastfeedingbasics.com/articles/introducing-bottles-and-pacifiers-to-a-breastfed-baby

8 months is a long time away (a lifetime for your baby!). My DD took tommee tippee bottles for the first couple of months, then steadily took less and less until she flat out refused them. We tried her with MAM bottles though and she's more than happy to take those (because of my DH's job and my lack of desire to express if it doesn't gain me a lie in, she'd go 6 weeks at a time without having a bottle and would still take it no problem after that). She likes her milk reeeeaaally warm though.

Even if you can't get him to take milk from a bottle/cup, I've read about plenty of people who's babies just have food and water while they're at work and then breastfeed when Mum is back home.

Went back to work at 30 werksfor both of mine; the second was a bottle refuser. He had a tiny amount of expressed milk in a tommee tippee but mostly stuck to water and food and made up for it when I got home.

Loads can happen in eight months though; with luck you’ll be ok.

ruby I've always been told you should stick to the slowest teats so they don't reject breast in favour of the bottle because it's less work for them.

I've been told faster flow as breast is generally faster than bottles. It's worked for me!

Can't see my baby ever rejecting breast for bottle, or any for that matter. Perhaps when teeny tiny, come on- 'breast is best!'

They're a lot easier at 8 mths in the rest that they won't starve or dehydrate if you leave them for a day!!.

Worst happens is that baby will want to breastfeed all evening when you get home but then dad gets a break for a bit and you get to lie with your feet up!!.

Baby hopefully will wean better with you away...my two always ate and drank better for others...

Give up on the bottles ..enjoy baby now..and as others say use a cup at the next stage...even with water in....

I second what nightshade said. I stressed about this so much with DC1 and in they end they had some milk once a day at nursery from a sippy cup and the rest of the time water with meals.
None of my kids took a bottle properly, all were exclusively breastfed with me back at work at 6 months. They fed a lot at night but we're fine during the day.

I went back to work when my first was 5.5 months and her dad shared the rest of the parental leave. She avidly refused all bottles, I had to start weaning to solids a little earlier than I'd like (22 weeks but she was showing signs she was ready, sitting unassisted for short periods, lost tongue thrust reflex etc) luckily she took to food brilliantly so her dad could get something into her

I found that she made up for the lost day feeds overnight which was knackering. I started going home at lunch time to feed then in a bid to reduce night wakings.

THEN WE FOUND LATEX TEATS!!!! Honestly she took to them brilliantly and would take a few ounces of milk (she preferred formula over expressed milk though). She'd only take water out of her sippy cup, the doidy cup bamboozled her, again she'd only take water.

Might be worth giving the NUK latex teats a go, offering the same feed every day in the bottle and see how you get on? Worst case though baby will make up for any lost feeds

Thanks for all the suggestions, really appreciate the reassurance. DH is off work tomorrow so we're going to have a try with very warm milk but I think some kind of cup in a few months may be the way forward.