Putting two to bed on my own

[Chosenbyyou]

Hi

I am really struggling with two children at the best of times but am finding bedtimes really hard. Please let me know if you have any tips/ideas for me?

Mine are just 1 (DS) and 3.5 (DD). My DH is a shift working doctor so I have to do bedtime on my own quite a lot and I hate it!

They both should go to sleep at the same time but it takes me ages (1hr tonight) to settle my youngest. So mid way through my youngest I quickly try to do my eldest whilst the little one moans and gets unhappy - when this gets too bad I run back.

I end up running from room to room and it gets stressful. I don't tend to do baths when I'm on my own unless I have to.

Please give me some tips if you have any? :)

Honestly?
I read them both a story. Tuck the older one up with an iPad, settle the younger one then go and settle the oldest. It's the only way I can do it stressfree.

Do the oldest first?

Why should they go at the same time? Ime staying up a little bit later wins favours with the oldest dc - isn't that why cbeebies was invented? Settle the youngest, then a bit 1-1with the oldest.

If it takes longest to settle your youngest, I’d do oldest first.

This used to stress me out too. And mine are only 22 months apart and DH is never home for bedtime. This is how I did it. I found it helped to stick fairly rigidly to routine:
5pm Dinner
6pm Bathtime, both in together
6.25pm DS2 out. Massage, pj’s
6.30pm DS1 out, pj’s
6.35pm DS1 20 mins of tv while I fed/cuddled DS2
6.55pm DS2 lights out, DS1 to room for stories etc

I would often have to pop between the two rooms a bit but Not too bad

At that age, I put the eldest to bed first, and took the youngest up when already asleep.

I think they started going together when DS2 was about 2.5

Now they go together because I seem to be lucky enough that the eldest is a bit of a dormouse, and the youngest needs less sleep...

My two youngest are of similar ages and I have to put them to bed on my own sometimes, I read them both a book and tuck my 3yr in and then put the 1yr to bed as he takes the longest.

Wow thank you so much for replying! I never thought of using tech to be fair!

My youngest always seems really tired so I try to do him first whilst the eldest watches TV but it goes on for so long that I think the eldest is them tired and so I quickly try to fit her in!

I could def try the eldest first and just have the little one with me?

Thank you for your replies - Aquestion your routine sounds fab I can try that!

I have always felt out of my depth with two for some reason!!

I have a nearly 2 and nearly 4yr old. It’s evolved a bit over the years as things work/stop working etc.

I have previously done all 3 of us in my bed. Story and lay in the middle until both asleep and then carry them to their own beds. That worked for quite a while until the baby starting messing about and keeping older one awake.

I then did baby settled in her room while DS watched CBeebies/iPad/dvd in my room and then him.

They both need a similar bedtime now so we do story in DS’s room, tuck him in, lights out, leave. Baby straight into her room, tuck in, lights out, leave. I then sit in my room and normally get called in by both of them a couple of times before they eventually go off to sleep.

I was concerned about moving to this current scenario as I thought we would have a lot of screaming but neither of them really cared at all as long as they knew I was close by and on hand if they called.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes one or both can be a bit of a nightmare but I think that’s normal for their ages.

I used to bath them together, then:

7pm DS1 to bed with a book to look at while I fed, read to and settled DS2.

7.20pm, leave DS2 with a story CD playing while I read and settled DS1.

7.30pm, brew, biscuit and Corrie.

Mine are 1.5 and 4.5, also husband a Dr and always doing bedtime alone grr. Youngest is a right pain and sometimes v quick but sometimes like tonight takes ages. I have to stay in the room

I decide who seems most tired and either:
(Usually) Try and read Harry potter or some such while little one causes chaos, tuck in big one and settle the little one after
Or
Let big one watch TV for a bit while I settle the baby, then can read to her in peace

Dh often gets home just as I shut the second door......

^^mine were one and three when we started that.
My rule was no TV/tech after bath time.

Mine are different ages so I am not sure how helpful this is.

I have a 10 month old and a 5 year old. As the wee one’s needs have changed I have alerted it. However we now do dinner, bath and get into jammies at the same time. I get big one tucked up in bed and settled with a book/colouring/leap pad while I take wee one off to bed. Wee one generally has bottle then cuddled in to sleep so asleep within maybe 15/20 minutes. Big one then has one story and lights out.

Timewise this means wee one is asleep by 7ish and big one is settled at least by 7:30 although she is often awake longer.

We do manage baths but I avoid hairwashing if I can.

Take them both up half an hour later

Tucked in and read a story on the landing so they can both listen.

Mine are in the same bedroom. You might think this is a good idea or craziness depending on how your DC get along but there’s only one year between my DC and a joint bedtime / stories has worked out for the best in my house.

I used to put bother mine to bed (less than 2 years between them) by myself. Both of mine had baths in the morning. I found it easier. When I put them to bed they had to stay there. They could have toys and books in bed and they didn't need to go to sleep. But they had to stay in bed. That was the only rule. If they got up they were put back. I never found it difficult. Sorry.

I do-
Bath together (teeth brushed while waiting for it to run and they have to try to have a wee before bath)
Dress eldest in bathroom while little one plays in bath
Dress youngest
Dry eldest long hair while little one runs around
Read x2 books together
Light out for eldest who has night light and music on...oh and must have water!
Until youngest was about 3 I'd then go sit in his bedroom (pitch black,no talking after kiss goodnight and pray he falls asleep quickly!)

Mine are a similar age gap and I did bedtimes on my own.

I used to give mine a bath together, pyjamas, all get in my big bed for a story, then lie down with them quietly and wake up an hour later realising I'd nodded off too and stagger about carrying them into their beds feeling like death

Not helpful but I sympathise. They're hard work at that age. It gets easier.

I wouldn’t use tech before bed. If they should sleep at the same time then have them share.

Mine shared from when the youngest was 1. SO much easier. They still share occasionally for company and are 8&6 (boy and girl).

Getting the youngest to go to bed without much support will pay dividends. Story and milk for both on the sofa. Upstairs and send the eldest to their room to find a teddy or get themselves into their bed while you put the 1yo into bed and leave them to it. Go and tuck in 3yo and give a kiss and leave.

Sit on the landing if you need for either who need you but just a quick pop in and lay them down and leave again.

At that stage ( and indeed for years after)I put them to bed together, they shared a room. I read a story , one or other would nod off and I would pat the other.there was a stage wher they shared a big bed ( 1 and 2 1/2 ) when it was very easy as I could lie between them and read , wait for them to nod off and sneak away.

Mine are 4 and 18mo

Bath together and pjs/teeth together. 4yo sits with me while we do 18mo stories then he goes in his cot and is left. End of. I then take 4yo to her room for big girl stories and bed so there is a half hour difference in their bedtimes. 18mo just had to jolly well learn to go to sleep on his own! I'm not faffing about running between rooms. You get to bed, now you get to bed, mum's clocking off for a cuppa.

1 and 3 yr old. Bath together (they enjoy it, on the odd night the older one doesn’t want one I don’t bother for either of them). Joint story that’s more suitable for the baby. Then I put the little one to bed and the older one gets her pick of story.

I'm having a particular nightmare of this scenario tonight. It's 10 pm and I've been lying in cot with younger one for over 2 hours! Luckily 4 year old went to sleep relatively quickly at 8.30 but this doesn't always happen so I go back and forth climbing in and out of bunk beds and cot. So want some child free time but it's not going to happen this evening!

Oldest 3 first here. They have stories downstairs from quarter past 6 ish until bed at 7. Eldest, 8, reads for 30 minutes. The 6yo & 5yo are allowed to read/look at pictures for 15 minutes. I read another story then cuddles & talk about what we might do the next day downstairs with the 2yo while the baby plays on the floor. The 2yo goes up about 7:40 (he & the 8yo share by choice). I then come down & feed the baby (8 months) who's usually in bed for 8. DH is away a fair bit & this is what works for us both when he's away & at home we've always found putting the younger to bed later rwsults in smoother bedtimes compared to the other way around, I'm not sure why. The older 3 take it in turns to stay up late on a Friday or Saturday night to get a little bit extra 121 time with us & watch a cheesy film.