How often do your family help out?

[GirlGang89]

My parents and parents in law live 15 mins away (opposite directions); my mum is retired and my mother in law doesn’t work. Both fathers still work.
Now before I went on mat leave my mum and mother in law used to have my daughter a max of 5 days a month each (I work shifts). They loved having her and my daughter never not wanted to go to theirs when I worked.
Flash forward 9 weeks, I have a 9 week old baby and I have just worked out (sad I know) that my mum hasn’t had my daughter in a month now and my mother in law took her out for 4 hours 2 weeks ago and before that it was another 2 weeks past. It’s normally me contacting them and visiting them in their houses.
Before I went off both said they would still like to have my DD1 and take her out regularly/have her for the day but it hasn’t happened?! I just feel a bit let down...
My husband is really annoyed as both parents know my DD2 has colic and I’ve been on the phone to them with her screaming and they still haven’t offered to give me a break from at least trying to entertain a toddler AND soothe a baby...?
I was hoping they could perhaps have her 1 day a week alternate weeks between them but I suggested that casually a while back and it was met with no response x

In my experience you have to ask if it's something you want. Usually I say to either MIL or my mother .. would you like to have ds1 (and also now ds2) as they would love to see you. I've found if you phrase it like that any good grandparent usually is happy when they hear their grandchildren want to see them.

Yes it's wrong they haven't asked or tried to help. But they may not want to step on your toes. They may feel that you'd ask if you needed help. Believe me alot of the miscommunication is one waiting for the other. You have nothing to lose by asking. If they say no a few times then you have your answer and know where you stand. But as a parent you now have to break the akwardness and get on with it an ask for you dd sake. So she can see her family too..

Unfortunately lots of grandparents are like this. Maybe we can learn from it ready for when we are grandparents :)

Hope this help!

Have you asked them? It sounds like they would help but maybe they think you want her at home with you being on maternity leave (they've probably forgotten how tough having a newborn is).

To answer you question how often to family help out? Never. We kept our eldest in nursery for a couple of days when on maternity leave but grandparents have never looked after either of our children for any length of time. We use nursery instead.

If you want help ask them.