Right age gap??

[AimeesMum]

Sorry if this is being discussed somewhere else...I did look, but couldn't see it.
I was just wondering what people thought about age gaps between children. My ds will be 2 in October. My husband and I are thinking of starting to try for our second child in a coupl of months. If I became pregnant straight away then my ds would be 4 months of 3 years old. Has anyone else had an age gap like this?
Any advice please??
Thanks!

my ds are 2 yrs and 4 mths apart which i found to be an almost perfect gap,the eldest was practically doing everything on his own but was also not old enough to get too p*ed off by having a new baby arrive in the home.hope this helps.

2nd due in October so will have a 2yr + 9 month gap. It seems like a good one to me - couldn't face them much closer together. Dd will be at nursery 3 mornings a week, hopefully potty trained and is getting more and more independent. Also she vaguely seems to understand about the baby, sings it songs and washes my bump in the bath etc. The downside is that she will probably be pretty willful and 'toddlerish' still, so I'm expecting a few tantrums.

Its such a personal choice, I'm sure you will hear lots of good stories about shorter/bigger gaps.

My younger two are 2 yrs and 1 month apart and we had no problems when they were little. Now, 4 yrs later, they fight like cat and dog but can't stay away from each other! Whatever you decide, good luck

I hope it's a good gap, because we're heading for one that's very similar! (toddler will be 2+ 6 months if baby arrives on time in late September).
One thing is that when I told my Aunt about the pregnancy she (social worker, degree in psycology etc) remarked - 'oh, the ideal gap then'. Not that I'm taking that as read, and I'm not sure I trust psycologists (even nice Auntie-type ones), but, like Enid, one thing I have found is that I've been able to explain a bit about a baby to ds, and also to get her into a proper bed, getting there with the potty etc. Not that this means anything at the present stage apart from I'm not that worried about putting on too much weight during pregnancy because of all the racing around after little miss lively.

I'll post again when reality strikes.....I have a potentially slightly dippy belief (which is probably daft) that you can't plan babies, they plan you, and you have to go with the flow, so if you want to get preggy, and it feels right then it's probably the right time for all of you (yes, dippy and optimistic!)

Hi AimeesMum

The age gap between my ds and dd is 5½ years - which I think is perfect!! We were fortunate that ds was very excited about the coming baby and helped us choose a name. When dd arrived ds was so pleased that he thanked both of us for his sister - sweet! dd is now 10 months old and ds still thinks she's wonderful. Although I'm not sure how much longer that will last - especially as she starts to make a move on ds toys.

Anyway, the next gap is likely to be much less as dh and I are thinking about trying for another - and as I'm 42, we'll have to get our skates on ;-))

HI everyone. Thanks for replying to my posting.I read your replies to dh, and we've definatley decided to start trying in a couple of months.
It will be nice FrancisJ to hear how things go for you when baby is born..you can provide some advice
I think dd will take having another baby around well. Her current fasination in babies leads me to believe it should all be alright...I can sit her with an old copy of Mother & Baby and she'll just happily sit and luck at the pictures of babies, she especially likes the ones of babies being breastfed, or as she puts it 'having a booby!'. I finished breastfeeding her this month (21months old) so I am hoping she doesn't mind too much when I breastfeed baby number 2!
I think the gap between baby2 and baby3 (if we have baby3- hopefuly!) will be longer. I'm 21 next month, and hope to go to university in a year or so and do my midwifery degree, so I don't think I'll be i a rush to have number 3.
Thanks again!

I've already greedily hogged lots of attention about 3rd babaies on another thread, but wondered, while we're discussing ages gaps, what peopel think is a good gap between 2 & 3?

My first 2 are only 18 months apart, now 18 months & 3. If we started trying now & hit the bullseye straight away, they'd benearly 2 and a half and 4. Would this be totally crazy or do I need to keep my hormones in check a while longer?!

btw, Although the 18 month age gap did have it's moments, I'm really glad about it - ds 1 was too young to really get jealous, and they get on so well. Ds1 loves telling things to ds2. When I'm walking along I often her him piping up - "That car!, That lullo car! (Yellow car)".