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Parenting

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Panicking about bullying

3 replies

GrannyRoberts · 07/04/2018 23:00

Bit of background - my daughter is 6 and is on the waiting list for ASD assessment. She has some struggles socially and is very lacking in confidence. Also, in case it's relevant, I was fairly badly bullied at primary school and really pretty miserable for most of it.
So today I took my daughter to a birthday party. She had a very wobbly front tooth which is basically hanging at an angle. It's been like this for a few days and she had noticed people looking at it and has been very self conscious about it. Today, there was pizza for the party food. DD was trying her best to eat it but it was tricky with her tooth and it was getting a bit messy etc. I overheard the girls sitting opposite whispering to her friend "urghh. Look at her tooth. That is disgusting"... DD didn't hear and was quite happy but it just sent a chill through me. It brought back to me the sheet nastiness and misery of my school days and has just made me feel really panicked about what I can't help feeling is inevitable - bullying, unhappiness etc. I just feel I am woefully ill-equipped to help her with this kind of stuff. I know this may seem a bit of an over-reaction but it's really brought so many feelings to the surface for me. It just makes me feel so scared. I know she is not very socially adept and I don't want her to have to go through what I went through but I just don't know how to equip her for life going forward. I'm really panicking about it, just can't shake off all the horrible memories, emotions and feelings that this has brought up. Please can anyone talk me down from this, I just feel so anxious right now and need someone to rationalise this for me as I don't seen to be getting there myself.

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Knittedfairies · 07/04/2018 23:31

You may be over-thinking this because of your own experience. To be fair, teeth that are hanging on by a thread do look odd. The child opposite said the tooth looked ‘disgusting’ (maybe not the best choice of words) not that your daughter did. Have you spoken to anyone about the bullying you suffered as a child? Might help.

ForgetMeNotCat · 07/04/2018 23:50

The good thing is that schools are often much more helpful about dealing with bullying these days if it did happen in future. If in the future your dd has problems, speak to the teacher and they'll probably try and help. If they didn't you could notify the senco or head.
I did have to speak to the class teacher about dd being targetted repeatedly by a particular girl in two different years at primary school and both times they did put a stop to it.

GrannyRoberts · 08/04/2018 07:27

Thanks for that. I think I probably an over-reacting because of my own experience, it just really panicked me to think about. I'm sure schools are much better these days about teaching respect, accepting differences, being on top of any bullying that does occur. I went to a tiny school with only one teacher and we were basically chucked outside completely unsupervised at break times and left to survive!

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