This may be a silly question. Has your child ever been reduced to tears in a swimming lesson?

[ekra]

My dd1 is 4.5 She started swimming lessons in January. A few weeks ago she moved from the water confidence class to level 1 where they start to learn to swim without aids.

After her lesson yesterday, the teacher approached me to confirm that DD1 was repeating level 1. She's not. The teacher said that explains why she got tearful everytime the teacher asked her to do something without floats. All the other children are repeating level 1. The teacher said it's got to a stage where the children have to be making progress, if they are repeating the class.

I'm guessing she was quite stern with DD1. She's not one to cry usually in these situations. She responds well to gentle encouragement. I don't suppose she's ever been in a situation where she's had someone she doesn't know well act sternly with her.

DD1 seemed happy enough about the situation so I didn't make a big deal about it. Plus, it sounds like an admin. error caused the teacher to treat DD1 differently.

But still, I am slightly concerned. I have witnessed swimming teachers on other occasions, in other swimming pools, being stern and overbearing. I would not want my dd1 to attend lessons with a teacher like that. It might end up turning her off swimming. Level 1 takes place in a small splash pool where parents cannot watch so I have no way of knowing what this teacher is like when she is teaching.

I don't have a question as such but I am writing this to guage what is normal and find out what other parents think.

Thank you

My daughter is the least confident swimmer out of my children and has made the slowest progress. She has repeated the same level class several times and through no fault of the instructors. They have done their very best to encourage her but she lacks confidence and stamina to move up to the next group. She is definitely improving but it is taking a while. She can be tearful at times too but I tend to give her lots of encouragement and not make a big deal of it.

My DS (nearly 6) has been having one-to-one lessons since Jan. Mainly because they go swimming with school and having enjoyed it in nursery and reception, he was struggling in Yr 1 as it was a different pool and different teacher. He was dreading school on that day and coming up with all sorts of reasons not to go and it was last thing on his mind at night and first thing in the morning. I almost pulled him out of swimming totally.

They swim 8 wks on and 8 wks off at this school in Yr 1 so over the 8 week break OFF we started 1-to-1 but unfortunately he hasn't made much progress. The teacher is very Hungarian in her approach and there isn't much fun involved. At this weeks lesson she almost reduced him to tears as she was trying to get him to use just a float with out her support and he was totally panicked. SHe persisted till I intervened and pointed out that he is just too scared for it to work at the moment. Am seriously considering stopping the lessons. It isn't helping him as much as I wanted it to and he is better about the school swimming now. A friend here is a swimming teacher and she has a pool in her garden so am hoping she will give him some lessons over the summer.

I was very nervous as a child - went under in lessons when I was 6 and the instructor had to jump in to get me. I only finally managed to learn to swim at age 26 and am still v. nervy.

I don't like the sound of these lessons at all. Why are refering to "repeating level one"?

At our local pool they stay in the class until they are ready to go up, and not expected to go up levels.

For 3 & 4 year olds the classes are Tadpoles for the less confident and Frogs for the more confident. Then at 5 they go into beginners where they can stay as long as they need to , then Intermediate,Improver, Improver 2, Advance and finally swim trainer.

I know the teachers well and they have to be in good control because they are looking after 8 to 10 children and need to keep them save. However the Tadpole and Frog classes are full of fun and games.

I do get to watch my ds' swimming lesson. He and his peers are a little younger than your dd - it is the Pre-school swimming class so age 3 - 4 years.

There are 5 children attending and usually 2 of them are in tears at some point! - and that's despite the swimming teacher being quite approachable and kindly from what I can see. However it is the same 2 children each time....

If it's unusual for your child to be tearful during swimming lessons I would be a little concerned about the teacher's approach

What ekra means, I think, is that the others in the class are repeating the level and that is why they are used to what they are being asked to do.

Her dd is doing level 1 for the fisrt time and is tearful possibly because the teacher is treating her as though she is already familiar with the challenges.

Does she like the teacher? I think this is paramount. Can you switch to another or get some one to one lessons for confidence building?

My dd1 is not confident in the water (6) and I empathise.

Ds1 is very unconfident in the water, and has been making very slow progress. He has just suddenly gained some confidence, to the degree where he WILL jump in, he will swim in the big pool with a float and he will just about put his face in the water. His teacher has been brilliant about gently pushing him, so that he does what he's being asked, without being scared. I spoke to the teacher and he said it was all about building confidence, and the worst thing to do was to push them, but he suggested lots of 'fun' swimming, outside lessons, especially with his sister (dd is very confident in the water despite being younger!), and that has helped lots.

frumpygrumpy - thanks for explaining my post better than me. That's exactly what I meant.

DD1 is happy enough as far as I can tell. She's a bit of a pleaser so sometimes it is hard to tell. You know, she will tell me what she thinks I want to hear. I have to word questions to her very carefully.

I'll see how happy she is next Thursday. She is usually asking all week when swimming is so I'll notice a change in her if she is apprehensive.

Next batch of lessons I will try to book the class which takes place in the pool where I can watch. I'd like to know what she is doing so I can help her practice when we go swimming as a family.

I think when children are learning to swim it is important to take their worries seriously. DS is 15 months and has been having swimming lessons since 5 months. He'd always loved it until he went through a very clingy, fearful phase a month or so ago. I asked the swimming teacher what we should do, and she said: "Don't give up, he'll get through this, but we'll just take it very slowly." She was as good as her word and if she thought he was getting upset we'd just stop doing an exercise and do something fun. A month on he is through the fear and doing fine again. I know he's a bit younger but thought this might be of some use - I really do think that swimming is so important and I'd hate to think that any kid was put off it by a pushy teacher.

I started a thread to ask advice from other parents of unconfident swimmers , please chip in opinions! I don't know how unconfident DD is compared to other unconfident swimmers.

My DD couldn't cope with a stern teacher, Ekra. She isn't forced to do anything without floats, she even gets double floats sometimes when the others only get a single float. It would be pointless for me to take DD if she was forced to do without, she'd just crumple, go hysterical and get no benefit at all.

Totally NOT RIGHT, IMO. I took dd out of a swimming club after I witnessed the teacher reduce a scared 2.5 yo to tears. Moved her to FAB lessons where they teach SO well - the prev swim school was all about swimming from babyhood and teacher criticised dd from not being as good as "some 3 year olds" when she was 4 and just started. our new lessons teach in a more traditional way, really - swimming on top of the water firs and she has done SO well and loves it and never ever cries.

i couldn't swim until i was about 8 and my son is the same. i do feel some teachers are pushing the children too early when they should just be enjoying the water and playing in it. but i know most wouldn't agree with me

when i was at school i witnessed tons of horrifying things the teachers used to do to the pupils. one used to specialise in pushing scared children in ! (me one of them) it did work though

My dd is 6 and a half and is doing level one for...oh the 5th time??!! She cannot confidently swim 5 metres so she has to repeat it again till she does.
No tears, no pressure.

My DD had a crash course in swimming lessons when she was 6. It was the WORST thing I did. She ended up terrified of water, distressed beyond belief, scared and inconsolable. All because the instructor wasn't in the pool and asked them (beginners) to do ridiculous things like push off backwards from the side and she sunk like a stone obv.

She completed 2.5 days of the 5 day course.

I taught her to swim myself in the end.

oo this is a hot topic for me. i have been struggling for months with ds as he is terrified of going into the pool for his lesson. he wouldnt go in without me and this week although he wouldnt go in with his class he did go in the big pool on his own, with me standing at the edge(shallow end)he had hold of the pole used to help them. A life guard then told me i couldnt do that as i wasnt cover( i presume health and safety) I am a swim teacher myself. I had finally got the break through that ds and i needed him going down the steps and walking in the shallow. it was me that burst into tears when the lifeguard said that as it has been very upsetting for both ds and i for months. all i was trying to do was build my childs confidence up. i might add that there was no-one else swimming in the pool at the time as the class had gone back to the baby pool.

Don't know what it is about some swimming teachers...but they can be pretty fierce and scary on times. My sons swimming teacher is lovely...lots of positive praise and support in the swimming pool and he trusts her...which is the important thing. However..on times she has not taken the class and others teachers have stepped in...one such stand in reduced my son to tears by telling him that he was going to 'sink' if he did not look up...he was only 3 at the time and terrified.....as you can imagine...the mother bear in me saw RED....i took him out of the swimming class and had a stand up row with the teacher afterwards!!! I would just say that for every stern teacher there is a lovely one...maybe your daughter needs to more softly, softly approach - my son certainly does.

No need for anyone teaching a voluntary activity like this to ever be so stern that a child is in tears IMO

I would not be happy to hear what was said about your dd getting 'tearful everytime the teacher....' that simply shouldn't be a feature of learning to swim, which should be fun all the way.

If it was me I wouldn't be happy any longer to not be able to watch. Can you switch pools? If not I'd seriously think about stopping the lessons for a while; just take her yourself for fun and confidence building and start her in a year or two. I think many kids have years of swimming lessons, but if you just wait a year or two she may be swimming within weeks of starting the lessons as she's that much older. Lessons seem to be started a hell of a lot younger nowadays.

This happened to my child at age 5.
I kicked up a massive stink and made a written complaint - and eventually got a refund and compensation.

Get a new teacher and complain vociferously.

Your poor dd

Thank you everyone for sharing your opinion on this matter.

I taught swimming lessons for years while I was putting myself for uni and I never made a kid cry ever. 4.5 is a bit young for that kind of pressure. In truth, kids don't really learn to swim around 6 and up until then, it is just fun, getting comfortable in the water, learning to put your face in. LEt her learn at her own pace.

I would not want my son to a swimming lesson where I could not watch him. I would wonder what the teacher was hiding. My son has had swimming lessons on and off because of problems with his ears.

He has never been reduced to tears and at the moment has a lovely teacher. I would look for another teacher if you want your little girl to have swimming lessons.

In one notable lesson last term, DD1 was the only child out of four who was not reduced to tears Two of them didn't complete the lesson.

Her teacher was a young guy, who tries to get the children enjoying themselves by playing lots of splashing games and dunking them under the water. Fortunately, DD1 thought it was great fun, but she was on her third term at Level One and had got to the stage of feeling very confident, if not very able! If I had been one of the other mums, I would have complained. But they seemed to be of the "it'll do them good" mentality.

I don't think some swimming teachers have a clue about how to deal with small children, unfortunately.

And yes, I would be concerned that the OP's teacher has not paid attention to how much previous swimming experience the children have got.