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Drama queens, or really distressed?

6 replies

PussinWellies · 10/05/2007 21:05

Just had an evening of three-way melodrama from my children, and I'm in need of calming advice.

Child 1 (11, Asperger's) has been off school with a cold, draped in exhausted attitudes over the armchair declaring that he's Far Too Tired to move, shrieking 'My nose! My nose! Aaargh! It's SORE!' every time he needs to blow it.
Child 2 (5, accident-prone) decides to entertain him by attempting star jumps from the sofa, lands badly, and wails that she's 'brokened all her foot bones'. Just as sobs are reducing, Child 3 (8, boy) arrives downstairs wearing his sister's newish party frock (not for the first time). Outraged sister bursts into fresh tears of fury because he hasn't asked her permission. Child 3 bursts into terrible anguished sobs and says the frock is his, really, because it used to belong to his (female) friend. Child 1 screams that the noise is making his head explode!

Pretty normal for our house, really, but the middle child's behaviour worries me. It's not the cross-dressing itself, exactly; he's always had a penchant for silky material, and I've tended not to make a big thing of it, though some of his friends found out and unsurprisingly teased him rotten about it. It's degree of desperation he seemed to feel about it. He's a darling, but not happy in his own skin at the moment -- very jumpy, tearful, hair-trigger temper. Gay child starting to realise it? Attention-seeking middle child? Obsessive compulsive tendencies (been there, got the t-shirt with DS1)? Or has he just got an over-anxious, over-analysing sort of mother?

I shall go and give him an extra cuddle and come back to this thread later -- congrats to anyone who got this far.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
divastrop · 10/05/2007 21:11

im sorry i dont have any advice for you,i just wanted to say that i read your whole post

is there any chance your middle child could have aspergers as well?

newlifenewname · 10/05/2007 21:18

Have you read The highly Sensitive Child by Elain Aron?

It does sound (from limited info obviously) as though you have emotionally expressive children, which is lovely. I suppose along with that comes the sensitivity/oversensitivity?

May also be a reaction to the behaviour of his siblings - either learnt behaviour or a way of creating a 'role' for himself.

Who knows re. sexuality - I'd think this would be an evolving thing that neither he nor you could be entirely clear about yet?

PussinWellies · 10/05/2007 21:44

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kathrynharriet · 10/05/2007 21:47

Hi, I have three brothers and the middle one went through a stage of wanting to wear a very pretty party dress someone sent for me (he was about 6) also would only eat white food, freak out totally if he got dirty and insisted he wanted to attend ballet. My mum went along with all this and within a few months he stopped it just seemed to be a phase? It very funny now as he is 27 and denies any of it took place! I would try not to worry (easier said than done!)
He is still very tidy and always very well turned out, but not a ballet dancer!

newlifenewname · 10/05/2007 21:48

I really recommend it - very well researched and I would imagine you'd find it very interesting with your gang!

If you want to borrow my copy pls email me!

divastrop · 10/05/2007 22:16

my dd1 was the middle child for 2.5 years and she is hyper-sensitive,and has always been into witchcraft +spiritualism and other stuff you wouldnt expect a 5/6 year old to be into.shes 8 now,and although she has two little sisters as well now,she's still firmly in the role of overlooked middle child(you never listen to me,you never give me any attention,you love x+y more than me etc etc).

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