Is this “normal” behaviour?

[user1483387861]

So my 5 year old DS was a fairly easy baby who has gradually got more and more difficult. We’ve just returned from visiting family for a week during which his behaviour was really hard to deal with. I don’t know if he is exhibiting normal behaviour for a 5 year old and we just find it more difficult than most to cope or if there is something else going on.

The types of behaviour he exhibited this week is hard to describe but at times, he just seemed really manic, compulsive and would not listen to a word we said. When we were out and about he would run off down the street and wouldn’t stop, he would be tearing around supermarkets. If he wasn’t running, he was crawling around pretending to be a baby going “ga ga” in shops and on the street. When we tried to calmly talk to him about his behaviour, he would blow raspberries in our face and turn his back on us. When we had lunch, he would get under the table and start annoying everybody as well as throwing things around. He was constantly going after his younger sibling, pushing her or throwing things at her, basically doing anything he could to annoy her. We would discipline him by giving warnings, reduction of privileges etc but it seemed to make little difference. He hits us and pushes us as well as screeches at us. It’s as if he’s reached a place where he’s lost control and no matter what we do, we can’t reach him.

He’s not always like this and he can be lovely. He started school in September and behaviour wise he is perfect. They have noticed that there are certain things he struggles with, in particular he is behind with fine motor and gross motor skills. They have also stated that they have noticed a few “odd” things about him particularly around transitions. When it’s time to tidy up and move on to another activity, he becomes manic and flaps around. They have also said that he struggles with emotions and that he seems to shut down when they discuss emotions with him. Despite this he has a number of close friends and is sociable.

We have noticed that he struggles with transitions as well. There were a lot of family members coming and going this week which I think has impacted on him. I’m trying to set out what is going to happen during a day so he feels less anxious but again this seems to make little difference.

We are so frustrated and wish that we could see more of the calmer side of him.

Is this behaviour normal for a 5 year old?!

It sounds like there is quite a lot there.
Obviously none of us can make any kind of judgement over the internet, but it sounds like the school are gently letting you know of their concerns too.
I think I would go in to school, when term starts, explain you have been quite concerned about his behaviour at times in the holidays, and say you have been adding your own concerns to what they have been saying to you at school and ask if you can arrange an appointment with his Teacher and possibly the SENCo at a mutally convenient time. If you say you have concerns, it makes it easier for the school to be open with you - sometimes, they need to gently guide parents towards understanding there is a concern.

Potentially they will say that they really don't think there is anymore than some tiredness and a bit of a struggle getting used to school, and, that they will try to help him by putting in some simple adjustments around transition times.
Or
They might say they have become increasingly concerned too, still put in some support around transition times, but potentially also get the SENCo to do some observations, and maybe - if thought necessary - talk to you about possible referrals.

Thanks for this. I will mention the behaviour issues to the school. It might be that we monitor him for the summer term and then make a decision about whether to go for a referral in consultation with the school.