crying it out method

[guest477337]

What are people's views and experiences on this?

However, I wouldn't do the full thing. I could only stand my child crying five mins max and then I'd go in for one minuet and keep doing that. I couldn't leave her longer!

You’re going to get a lot of responses split between ‘yes we did and it worked’ and ‘my god you’re a monster’ so here's a different take..
We had a kid who just did not sleep at all, ever. Even as a newborn he was never sleepy. By 12m we were on the verge of death through sleep deprivation and our doctor suggested we try cc.

Nightmare. It just didn’t work. The idea is you go back in and they soothe in your presence (just like pick up put down) but no, not our kid. Hysterical, terrified wailing. For hours. Never calmed down enough to leave again. Just backfired completely and he ended up crying whenever he saw the cot. It took us FOUR WEEKS to get him back into the cot without him screaming hysterically.

So no, it doesn’t always work. Friends have had great success with it - but then have had significant relapses in sleep afterwards so I’m not convinced it’s the panacea people tout it as.

I would say: think about WHY they are waking.
Genuine hunger? In which cases space feeds out.
Habit for milk? In which case as above and then in a few months start to night wean
Comfort? Possibly the toughest one - because depending on the temperament of the kid, there may not be any way round this.

6m is still young and you will see more sleep changes yet. Of course all kids are different and I don’t doubt that cc works for some. But for us it made things a lot worse. In the end I kind of realised he was a sensitive little soul who has quite bad clinginess/separation angst. The ONLY thing that worked was just being there for him. Eventually, he seemed to get that if he needed us, we’d be there. And then he slept, and has done ever since. Very rare to get a night waking - maybe once every few weeks and if we are there fast he’s back down non problem.
It took 18m for him to get it but he is a good sleeper now.

CIO is cruel and teaches your baby nothing but the fact nobody is there for them when they need comfort. Eventually they’ll stop crying bit cause they think there’s no point as nobody comes. Babies cry for all sorts of reasons and needs their cries answered and met with lots of love and comfort. It’s only a short time and as they get old they do sleep through naturally when nothing is bothering them.

because* should say

older*

I bloody hate cio. However ds1 needs it. It's hideous. ALL intervention from anyone results in a horrific meltdown that can last hours. So we offer milk, calpol (if necessary) and them leave him to it. That said, if he sounds distressed we go in straight away

Babies are much more confident and secure when they know their cries will be met. I think they naturally sleep through eventually with this confidence too rather than feeling neglected.

I think there’s a difference between a winge which you don’t need to answer and a real cry which you do need to.

KatyN sensible approach that I did with DDs many years ago. DD1 didn't do it with DGSs and they are now age 2 and 5 and both hellish sleepers

At six and a half months we left for 1 minute then 2 then 3. Couldn't go past that.
Within 8 minutes they went to sleep and woke up about twice in the night, before it had been every 20 minutes ALL night.

Within three days they slept 12 hours.

Now we comfort every wake up after a minute if they're not resettling, we usually get one a night if that.

For us it was the kind option. They went from screaming basically all night and full of stress hormones all the time, to sleeping more. So yes it can be cruel, but it can also help in a really desperate situation.

To me when mine were tiny it really depended on the type of cry. If it was just tired grizzling then I didn't rush in to pick them up as I knew they would be asleep really quickly. Same if they woke up and grizzled. But if it was full on 'please come quickly' crying I didn't let them cry it out. Can't over cuddle :-)

These threads always become full of smug parents of six months old with no older children, raving about how their little darling sleeps through twelve hours after a few nights of sleep training. Maybe I am just bitter and haggard from my many years of rearing multiple children but.... the smugness never fails to amuse me. All I have to say is - there's plenty of time!
I didn't do any kind of sleep training. I just couldn't bring myself to. All slept through in their own time, whether that was a few months or few years.

An ex friend (didn't know her til her dc were past toddler age) brought her week old dd home and left her in her own room to cio. Told me she had to learn.. It still haunts me tbh. And very glad we aren't friends anymore. Not why our friendship ended but never saw her in a nice light after she told me.

Leaving a week old baby to cry is child abuse. A week ago, they were still in the room. At that age, they have no concept of being a separate entity from their mother. What a bloody awful thing to do :(

I sleep trained my first at 2 years old as she never slept through. I was literally on my knees with exhaustion ( I tried everything- co sleeping, dropping naps etc and she used to wake up for hours during the night crying). Sleep training worked a treat. We did controlled crying and it was brutal (for me). DD however was sleeping through within a week.

With dc2 I started at the 1 year mark but he was more sensitive so I started with naps and used to sit in his room until he fell asleep, then I'd start to leave to room a bit earlier.

With dc3 who is 8 months we have just started sleep training today. Just left her to fuss in her cot for a nap. She basically just grizzled for ten mins (if she properly cried I'd have gone in). I am using a myhummy bear this time though and that seems to help.

I totally appreciate co sleeping etc but none of my children were remotely receptive to it unless they were ill.

See lots on here saying their kid cried and was comforted - if ds had done that we’d have used it as a method but once he started crying he didn’t stop for hours. The idea of just going in and putting a hand on his tummy and him stopping - just didn’t happen.

If it’s a bit of grizzling for 1/2/3 minuted then they chill out when you go back in then crack on. It certainly didn’t work like that for us.

Leaving a week old baby to cry is child abuse. A week ago, they were still in the room. At that age, they have no concept of being a separate entity from their mother.

At that age they should still be inside their mother. (Human babies are born prematurely.)

Personally, I wouldn't even consider it, and you don't sound too keen on it op and 5 months is very young to try sleep training. In my opinion babies need to know that when they cry someone will be there to comfort them. It's their only way of communicating.

I can't stand people that say it's abuse.
I've always let ds settle himself to sleep. When he was very young he would fall asleep while having his bottle, so we'd put him in his crib and that was all we had to do.
When he was older and stopped doing that so much we always put him down and left him for up to 10 minutes. Within this time he may have a little moan or cry, but we always had the video monitor on and could see him. He would usually settle himself to sleep within 10 minutes, but if he didn't we would go back up to him. He's self settled from birth, which is most ideal, and he's slept through from when he was 3 months, so it didn't affect his sleeping. Also he's never needed anything to help him settle or sleep- no light or music as I think they're unnecessary. No blanket as also unnecessary. And I detest and despise dummies so no way will any child of mine ever have one.
It worked for us, and it's not abuse.

happymummy you think putting a week old baby in their room to scream themselves to sleep is fine?
That's what the abuse comments were about...

It is wicked.

@pannikin I have one child and he rarely sleeps through at 1 year old! I wish I was one of the smug parents as I might feel abit more rested!

@happymummy12345 you don’t believe in comforting your baby do you

Well I shower ds with unlimited comfort and love and it’s done him no harm. He’s been allowed a comfort items also such as pacifiers and blankets and special toys. He slept through last night and it was lovely to know he did it on his own accord and not because I had neglected him from a week old!

He’s also allowed music too, that’s awful happy Mummy

There is a massive difference between letting a 6 month old whinge for a couple of minutes and leaving a baby to cry for 10 mins.
We coslept till my dd was 1, then moved her into her own room, we slowly retreated so she knew we were there and within a week she was self settling, she doesn't always sleep through now at 3 but then again neither do I.
My neighbour did cio with their baby and I was pregnant at the time, listening to their baby scream for what felt like ages was heartbreaking and made me swear never to leave my baby like that.
My dd also has a teddy that she uses for comfort and had a dummy as it helped with reflux. I can't see how comfort could possibly be a bad thing for a little children.