5 week old feeding constantly

[Jessfb]

My baby is 5 weeks old as of yesterday. He's a big baby, He was 9lb15 at birth and although he's not been weighed for a couple of weeks I think he's about 12lb now. We didn't have the best start as he had a full tongue tie so had to be bottle fed however we paid for it to be cut st 4 days and he's been breastfed ever since.
Whilst he's feeding well and gain weight quick he feeds at least every 90 minutes of not every hour and usually only feeds for 5 minutes. I try and encourage him go keep going but he pulls himself off looking vet satisfied. I know I have a quick let down I can pump 100ml from 1 side in 6 minutes.
Alongside this we can't get him to slee0 on his own. I think he has silent reflux so as soon as I lay him on his back he wakes and cries. He only sleeps on his front on one of us. I know it's so dangerous and I hate doing it but it means we fall asleep in bed like this.
I keep reading that babies should be getting into a routine by 5 weeks but I feel so far away from that. I'm exhausted and today decided to start introducing a bottle as well as breast to try fill him up but he only took 70ml from the bottle so now I'm terrified he's not going yo be getting enough.
I'm exhausted and just want to do what's right for him. I'm a first time mum and have very little support, whilst my husband is very supportive both my parents died young so I don't have anyone to turn to for advice or support.
Has anyone else experienced a baby feeding so often and refusing to sleep on their own?

I've got 2 kids, and it sounds totally normal!

At 5 weeks they still brand new and haven't learned to be away from you, so wanting to sleep on you. Read about safe sleeping and co sleeping.

And feeding regularly is normal too. One of my children fed every 2 hours until they were about 6 months. Some are regular feeders, some space themselves out a bit more.

Read about the 4th trimester. It's really good stuff. Ignore anything you read about routines at 5 weeks - utter nonsense! You sound like you're doing a great job and it's all totally normal.

Sorry, didn't proof read that and it's full of typos.

You’re doing really well and so is he. It’s normal to eat little and often- when you think about it that’s what most baby mammals do. So he is doing what’s right for him and it’s working.
Read up on safe cosleeping and try to follow those guidelines.
But be proud that you’re doing a great job.

I think it’s so unhelpful when people tell you everything is great when a situation is making you exhausted and terrified.

Even at 5 weeks your baby should be able to manage at least 2 hours from the start of one feed to the start of the next. In fact 3 hours might be ok.

It is normal for babies to wake and cry on their backs. They hate it, it’s a very unnatural position for them. They feel unsafe and alone. A good snug swaddle can really help with this, by far the best one is the miracle blanket. You can swaddle him and hold him close to you and when you put him down he will still feel secure. This will really help him to stay asleep for longer.

If you are at all concerned that your baby is not getting enough milk then see a certified lactation consultant. His tie could have grown back.

I hadn't thought about his tongue tie growing back. I'm not worried about him getting enough milk from me he's gaining weight really well about 11lb a week and we have lots of wet and dirty nappies. My worry is when I have him a bottle of formula he didn't take much. My husband gave him.a bottle of expressed milk tonight and he only took 90ml and seemed very full. I think he hasn't stretched out his stomach to eat more at once but I don't know how I can encourage him to feed more at each feeding. I already do everything I can think of to encourage him to keep going. I doubt know how long I can carry on feeding him so often but I don't know what to do to make him take more at each feeding.

My DD was formula fed and had around 60ml (rarely more) every 2 hours at this age. The general rule is 2-3ozs per pound of body weight. If your DS is around 12lb that's 24-36 ozs which (if he fed every 3 hours, so 8 feeds a day) would be 3-4.5ozs (90-135ml). So if your DS is having 90ml that's perfectly fine, and if he's feeding more often then he may have less per feed. As long as having plenty of wet and dirty nappies then you know he's getting enough. My HV told me that their stomachs are still tiny at this age and many babies like to eat little and often.

As for the sleep, again lots of babies like to be held all of the time at this age and it's really hard to deal with. If you want to co sleep look at safe co sleeping guidelines. Or look at swaddling and he may sleep better. We used a sleepyhead with DD and it really helped us all get sleep as she wasn't flailing her arms round and waking herself up. Or take the night in shifts so you both get some decent sleep?

It will gradually get better! You just have to try and find ways to survive in the mean time.

Sounds normal, sorry. it’s hard but it won’t last long.

And the crying in cot thing, probably not reflux just they hate to be away from you. My dd was the same. The moment you put them down they wake up even if they’d been in a deep sleep! We just co slept for a bit. 5 weeks for a baby routine sounds ridiculous, I’ve never heard that. I’d say more like 12 weeks, and even then you’d be doing well on that front.

My first was like that, only he fed for 45 minutes every 90 minutes. So i only got a 45 minute break. It was HORRENDOUS. But he'd spaced out a lot at night in particular by 10 or so weeks. Second never fed for more than 5 minutes and I was SO WORRIED but 90 ml is actually plenty for a breastfed baby, apparently. When you take into account that baby is gaining weight, pooing and weeing, it sounds totally fine. Just really really really hard. Also whoever told you to expect a routine at 5 weeks! Hahaha. No. Not ime. In 4.5 years of being a mum and going to baby groups, I've only met one baby who was in a routine at that age. And that was just good luck, the mum told me she had no idea why she'd been so lucky. It will get better, and it will get better soon. Promise.

Sorry forgot to also say, It sounds like his stomach isn’t big enough to take enough milk to sustain him for a long period, again totally normal and one of the benefits of breastfeeding is that generally babies are pretty good and deciding how much they need/can take and when so they don’t get ‘overfed’. I think they call it intuitive feeding now. So if he’s gaining weight and set/dirty nappies there is absolutely no need to worry if he’s getting enough milk. I hope it’s calms down for you soon.

I had a big baby that had reflux, he bf very often, sometimes he'd come back after 30 months mins. It gets better, much much much better. By about 7 weeks he was going much longer between feeds but didn't have a routine till he was about 3 months. Your doing a great job, rest when you can and accept all the help you can

Thank you everyone that makes me feel much better! I'm going to get the tongue tie consultant to come out again just to double check otherwise I'll keep persevering and hope it gets better as he gets older!

The feeding for 5 minutes and every 1.5-2 hours thing does sound totally normal to me as long as he’s content between feeds. Mine is 5 weeks and I would say unless he’s cluster feeding, feeds about 5-10 minutes every 1.5-2 hours. He’s always put on weight great and we’ve had no issues from the start (I did with my first so this comparatively seems easy and I’ve been pretty relaxed about it). I also have a fast letdown so I think he just gets what he needs really quickly. As long as his weight gain is good and you aren’t in pain, it sounds like you’re doing fine. I wouldn’t expect him to be going 3 hour stretches yet at this point.

As for sleep, can you figure out a better system for sharing the load? That way you aren’t so tired. With both of ours my dh and I traded off during the evening/night. I’d do a feed around 7/8pm and go to bed. He’d wake me for any feeds up to 12/1am but then take baby back downstairs after so I’d carry on sleeping. And I’d take over after 1am until the morning. It meant we both got a solid block of sleep each night and could safely stay awake with him the rest of the night. We did that to probably 6-8 weeks with our first and then probably will transition around 6 weeks with this baby (he’s comparatively easier frankly). So I think it likely will get easier soon but if you can find some way to safely do nights for now.