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Original poster

CHANGING SCHOOL AT AGE 5-6. ..how much of an ordeal is it for the child, in your exp?

36 replies

noonar · 09/05/2007 19:55

hi, have recently posted about the possibilty of moving to a nice village nearby.

i am really keen, and so is dh. we currently live on a busy road and are really attracted to the idea of living in a semi rural location (this village has loads of amenities, btw). We are desperate for a change of scene, and can't bear to think of being in the same area till dd 1 and 2 finish secondary school.

the trouble is, I'm really punishing myself about whether or not it's fair to move dd1 from her school. (she's in her final term in reception).

so, what do you reckon? are they more adaptable than one might think, at that age? or is moving school a huge upheaval, to be avoided at all cost?

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pointydog · 09/05/2007 20:08

we moved when dd1 was at this stage, just before yr 1.

No ordeal whatsoever. None.

Obviously depends a bit on the child.

Original poster

noonar · 09/05/2007 20:16

thanks, pointy. she's very confident in lots of ways, but quite sensitive in others. she makes friends easily and gets invited to tea, parties etc. so hope she would be ok 'socially'.

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MamaG · 09/05/2007 20:18

We moved at end of DD's reception year, summer hols. She was absolutely fine, she's very confident anyway, but like your DD, sensitive inothers. She was fine

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imnot27 · 09/05/2007 20:19

Hi, we moved in January, when ds was in year 2. It was a bit rocky to strat with, he spent a month or so crying every now and then and saying he wanted to go back to his old school, but absolutely fine now. We moved to be in a lovely village location, and the benefits totally outweigh the minor short-term problems! Hope it all goes well for you!

Original poster

noonar · 09/05/2007 20:19

thanks, mamaG

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Original poster

noonar · 09/05/2007 20:22

imnot, thats interesting. glad he's ok with it now. i can see that as they get older, it could be more tricky.

also, we have to decide what to do soon as dd2 will need to apply for a place in reception in february, so we need to know where we're going to be.

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fennel · 09/05/2007 20:23

My dds moved school (and house) twice last year, aged 5 and 4 and then aged 6 and 5. Both times mid-term.

They were fine. Both settled well the first time and when we gave them a choice the second time, 6 months later (to continue at their "new" - 2nd - school, which was now a car drive away, or to change to go to a 3rd school, that was a 5 minute walk from the new home in a little village, they chose to change school again.

One of my dds is quiet and shy, but she's been like that in all 3 schools and has made friends in each, slowly and in a quiet way. my dd2 is wildly sociable and fitted right in each time. But both, even the shy one, have been happy at all 3 schools. I worried a lot about it but they've been fine.

Original poster

noonar · 09/05/2007 20:24

hi fennel, you must have had some good reasons to move twice. am so glad it went well for them .

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Pollyanna · 09/05/2007 20:28

Hi Noonar!

It depends on the child ime. ds has moved schools twice (he is in y3 now) and coped really really well both times - adapted quickly and without any stress. on the other hand dd1 moved last sept at the start of y1 and has found it really difficult to settle, even though she wasn't particularly happy at her first school (she would definitely prefer to be home educated!). Even now she talks about her first school and is very reluctant to go back to school after a weekend/school holiday.

I have heard that generally speaking anytime before y3 is an ok time to move a child.

(have you gone to look at the school?).

Furball · 09/05/2007 20:44

we moved last april whilst ds was in reception. I arranged with the new school for us both to go and look round a few weeks before he started. To be honest he struggled with the rest of the reception year. But come year one he's been fine.

RosaLuxembourg · 09/05/2007 20:46

We moved when my quiet, homeloving DD1 was half-way through year one. She came home after day one and said 'Mummy, I have a new best friend.' She is in year five now and has a wide circle of friends - still fairly quiet but nevertheless popular.

WestCountryLass · 09/05/2007 20:47

We just moved our DS and he was fine, he actually settled into hisnew school much better than he settled in the old one.

I was worried but kept telling myself any settling difficulties would be short term pain for long term gain.

MamaMaiasaura · 09/05/2007 20:48

noonar - i moved schools with ds mid year 1. HE settled in quickly and saw it as an adventure. He seems happy and in year 2 now and we still see his best friend from his old school. (we are going on holiday together this year!)

I found it harder as got to know a good group of mums at the old school and not so much at the new one.

PrincessPeaHead · 09/05/2007 20:51

moved dd mid reception

she didn't bat an eyelid, and she is not a particularly confident/outgoing child

she walked into her new classroom and a little girl came up to her and said "will you be my best friend?" and she said "ok" and they walked off hand in hand

they are still great friends 5 years later!

great time to move IMO

oliveoil · 09/05/2007 20:54

we will be emigrating when dd1 is in reception (fingers crossed)

she is very sensitive and I am worried about her starting school in September, never mind emigrating

I am sure the upheavel will be hard for her BUT children are very resilient

fennel · 09/05/2007 21:27

Noonar, we moved 250 miles and rented a house for 6 months, sent the girls to the local school, and found a house to buy. The new house wasn't that far away but the journey to school proved to be rather difficult, hence the second move. Not ideal, but we didn't know the area well enough to buy a house at a distance, til we'd lived there a bit.

Lilymaid · 09/05/2007 21:32

We moved when DS1 was at the end of reception. No problems really, though he did miss his best friend. We moved again when DS1 was in Y5 and DS2 in Y1. It was very difficult for DS1 at 10 years old, but no real problem for DS2 at 6.

Original poster

noonar · 10/05/2007 16:01

thanks all. am v interested to hear your exp.

pollyanna, hurstpierpoint is now our hot favourite. but have found out today that there no places (there are 4 local and 3 outside area pupils waiting for a place at the local school in dd1's year group). and its a church school, so he criteria for admission is pretty skewed (sp).

am in a real quandry, tbh. we could keep dd at her current school, which is an 'outstanding school', but a 25 minute drive away from hurst. but what if a place didnt come up at the local school for a couple of years? that's alot of driving!

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mosschops30 · 10/05/2007 16:04

I cant believe that any parent would seriously base a life changing decision on whether their child wanted to move school!!

dd moved during reception and now barely remembers the first school she attended

I think you have to do whats right for you and your dh and focus on whats going to be best long term

Original poster

noonar · 10/05/2007 18:40

mosschops, its not a question of asking my dd if she WANTS to move school. i've not asked her, but am interested to know what impact a change of school has had on any other children of MNers.

i can't believe that anyone would make a life changing decision WITHOUT considering the impact on their child!

i really am glad that it worked out well for your dd, but you're not seriously telling me that you werent a tiny bit concerned about whether she'd be happy at her new school.

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McDreamy · 10/05/2007 18:43

Noonar we about to enter into the realms of schooling and being in the forces DD may have to face the prospect of moving school every 2-3 years . She wil have to move once as we currently live abroad but we might have to consider our options on return to the UK. I have spoken to many mums about the situation and generally the opinion is a positive one which surprised me.

PeachyChocolateEClair · 10/05/2007 18:44

ds1 moved to this school at Whitsun of his reception year, tbh didnt bat an eyelid LOL- not at all bothered, rather liked the excitement I think

Original poster

noonar · 10/05/2007 18:48

ok. i think i'm now convinced that she would be fine...but i still have the issue of places at the school to consider do we move and take a gamble that a place will come up soon?

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PeachyChocolateEClair · 10/05/2007 18:50

Speak to the school Secretary, our (also Church) school was over subscrbed but they ahd to find a place not just for ds1, but also ds2 who was due to start the next half term. Different schools run things differently

Original poster

noonar · 10/05/2007 18:56

peachy, i have, we'd be number 5 on the list. and, being a church school, anyone who's in with the vicar will beat us to it, as far as places are concerned.

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