DM leaving baby in dirty nappies

[BerryBee]

My DM looks after my 15 month old a couple of days a week. Both days this week I've come home to the baby in a dirty nappy. DM has said she thought the baby had done a poo. So why not bloody check then? I'm grateful for the help of course but really upset as baby's bum is now sore and I've tried to talk to her about this before without success. Any advice on how to broach this?

Aw that’s not nice for your poor baby. I think you just need to be honest but polite and say something like, “Mum, if you think baby has pooed then please can you check and change them because his/her bottom has been really sore”.

I know it’s awkward because it’s your mum and she is doing you a favour, but I’m sure she wouldn’t want her grandchild to be uncomfortable, maybe she has forgotten how important it is to change them straight away.

Thanks. Is frustrating as I've said to her before to change her straight away. She won't listen to me about naps either. I'm hoping to end the arrangement as soon as possible. My mum makes me feel like I'm being unreasonable but I feel like these are certain basic needs.

This is unfortunately one of the huge compromises for having family doing childcare - you can't tell them the same way as you would a Nursery or childminder. But you can't leave your child to get sore so you have to tackle it... awkward!

My mum looked after my DD a few days when I went back up work. Nothing dreadful happened but I'll never do it again. Paid childcare is much more straight forward!

Thanks tea. It's good to know it's not just my family. Need to get a few things in place before my DD can start at nursery but I'm hoping my mum can still help out - just less so.

I'll try to tackle the nappy issue....😫

That is such a basic aspect of childcare. You really shouldn't have to ask or remind her to do that. I'd end the arrangement ASAP to be honest, it's neglectful. The stuff you compromise on with family shouldn't be taking care of very basic needs like nappy changing.

My Mum can be like this. She is really squeamish about poo (won't do her bowel screening for example) and will do anything to avoid changing a poopy baby. She looks after my 15m old DS one morning a month and will change him eventually, but she really really hates it ('cos we all love it, right!). I have to be grateful for the free childcare but this drives me mad, I think it's really immature and she just needs to get on with it.

"Now sore", then that's a problem.
But generally a baby's nappy doesn't need to be changed straight away. Ideally yes. But not the end of the world if not.

Just be aware this sort of thing often happens at nurseries too.