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Original poster

Dummy removal

18 replies

BarryTheKestrel · 27/03/2018 11:01

DD is nearly 3. She dropped day time dummy around 1 so only has her dummy at night. She has it to go to sleep and it falls out within 5 minutes. She never seems to replace it in the night so it's clearly a going to sleep comfort.

We have started talking about the dummy fairy and how big girls don't have dummys and they are needed for the little babies. We've also spoken of a treat if she hands them over without a fuss.

She seems receptive to the idea however I'm quite nervous as unless she is exhausted she fights sleep a lot and feel removing this comfort will only make it worse.

Anyone got any tips on making the transition easier for both of us? I'm sure I'm working it up to be a mountain when it's really a molehill but I'd rather be prepared for what may lie ahead!

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Aprilmightmemynewname · 27/03/2018 11:02

Why the need to bin it at the risk of upsetting a decent bedtime routine? Madness imo.

Original poster

BarryTheKestrel · 27/03/2018 11:26

Honestly I'm glad you've said that. Everything I see on here tends to be that dummys need to be gone early and that they shouldn't have them and that definitely by 3 a child shouldn't have a dummy at all.

DH is also of the school of thought that she's getting too big for them now. I'm thinking of just making him do bedtime until she's over the loss if he's determined to remove them.

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Aprilmightmemynewname · 27/03/2018 11:48

She is still little!! My dd had them hidden under her pillow til she was 7!! Her teeth + speech are perfect!! Most of my dc had gotten rid by themselves well before 4. My ds 3. 6 asks to go to bed at 7 and sleeps 12 hours. No way am I going to upset that!! Bedtime routine +sleep more important than ditching the dummy!!
Ask your dh if he is doing any night time settle the dc trips - -

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Lollyb86 · 27/03/2018 12:34

My 4.5 DD has it for sleeping I was very set on trying to get rid of it but now I've come to the conclusion that if it's what she needs to sleep she will grow out of it eventually 😊

RebeccaCloud9 · 27/03/2018 12:47

We've just (touch wood) succeeded with this with my nearly 3 and a half year old. Our dentist said her teeth were already being affected so we wanted to get rid.

We did all the same things as you then gradually she said she was ready to try. We gave her a little treat each morning after she hadn't had the dummy with the promise of writing a letter to the dummy fairy and getting a special prize from her after a week. (Wanted achievable and immediate reward as well as cumulative).

After the first couple of nights she was fine but woke early and cried for it (we gave in the first day but didn't after that).

For the next couple of days she grumbled a bit but then after that she just didn't want or need it. We did lots of reminding about her prize and about how she's a big girl now and none of her friends have one anymore. Also coincided with her new big girl car seat.

Think she's broken the habit now hooray!

RebeccaCloud9 · 27/03/2018 12:49

3 weeks ago it seemed impossible as she was so attached to her dummy.

We have kept them hidden away just in case but hoping we won't need them.

Aworldofmyown · 27/03/2018 12:59

I wouldn't worry too much at the moment its not like she is having it all the time.

As its coming up to her birthday could you suggest that the dummy fairy will get her an extra present (something of her choice) if she leaves out her dummies for collection. We did that with DD and after a couple of nights of complaining she never asked again.

SundayGirls · 27/03/2018 13:02

At some point though it's going to have to go?

We just went cold turkey. (with preparation). Ours forgot about them by the 3rd night. Teeth positioning can be affected, that's why they aren't a good idea beyond babyhood.

We found that the dummy had actually added to the sleep disruption instead of taking it away as when the DCs started nodding off, the dummy would slip and then they'd wake up to rearrange it.

Is it your first DC? I ask as I was as hesitant with my first DC over things I knew I should do but didn't want to upset him over.

I distinctly remember with my DC he got to about 14 months before I said the word No to him. In fact it was his granddad that said it to him, about something my DS wanted but it wasn't suitable to have. I remember being surprised someone had said that word.

Up until that point I'd said things like "Maybe later" "Mummy thinks that's not a good idea" "I'm not sure about that" etc etc because (subconsciously) I felt like saying No directly made me look like a bad parent so I did all the guff and waffle around it instead which (looking back) only confused DS and also, undermined my authority going forward.

I felt mean saying (the word) No to him at first but I realised it was part of parenting. We'd all rather say Yes to this that and the other that isn't exactly healthy or right for them, either because we want to treat them, we don't want the earache, we don't feel like getting up and doing something else with them instead so it's easier to say Yes. But that's not right.

Just something to consider. I wish I'd manned up a bit earlier over certain things, but you live through experience.

RoughPatchMum · 27/03/2018 20:07

I got rid of my DS's when he was 21 months old. Too young to understand dummy fairy but had good understanding generally so we just told him no dummies anymore and binned them so we wouldn't be tempted to change our minds. DS barely blinked. He wasn't fussed at all and this was a child who used to keep the dummy in all night and wake up several times a night if it fell out!

villainousbroodmare · 27/03/2018 20:13

I just threw them all in the bin one night. One or two days of occasional moaning and it was all over.

Topsyloulou · 27/03/2018 21:52

DS only had his at night from around 10 months & got rid of it completely at just over 2.5. I was dreading it as he used to wake in the night to find it, he'd have 5 or 6 in his bed at the start of the night so he'd still have one if he dropped one down the side of the bed.

We told him about a week before that he wasn't going to have it any more as he was a big boy now & kept reinforcing it every night. On the night itself he took a bit longer to settle, 30 minutes instead of 5 but after that he wasn't fussed and never asked for it again. I actually wish I'd done it sooner as it went so well, it was me making a big thing of it, he wasn't fussed at all. I threw the dummies away about a week later when he wasn't in the house so he wasn't reminded of them.

fabulous01 · 27/03/2018 22:41

Ok. We did it for lots of reasons.
3 months in and bedtime still not great. The screaming and sobbing stopped at week 3 but the pattern still hasn’t got better
In hindsight I wish I had kept it

Some can cope better and I have twins so it is harder as one used to waken the other with the screaming etc

Good luck with it

Knittedfairies · 27/03/2018 22:54

I can’t see a good reason to remove a dummy she only uses for 5 minutes or so; it’s not as if she’s walking around Sainsbury’s with it!

mrspicklepants27 · 28/03/2018 10:17

I honestly wouldn't worry if its a nighttime thing. If it brings comfort then there's no problem in my opinion. My dd5 still has her little comfort blanket that's she's comforted on since birth at night. Night time is her time, if it helps her sleep I'm all for it!

Cutesbabasmummy · 28/03/2018 10:47

We did it a 2 years old by accident with my son - my mum and dad put him to bed when I was working late one night and my husband was late home from work and forgot to give him a dummy. He didn't ask for one so I decided if he'd done it one night he could do it again. End of dummies!

Original poster

BarryTheKestrel · 29/03/2018 20:37

I think my panic is that I'm currently pregnant with dc2 and if this baby has a dummy I have visions of her stealing it or bringing hers out of her bed (something she will only ever do if very poorly), or even just the epic tantrums that the baby is allowed theirs in the day and she isn't.

Her cousin who is the same age as her has just given his up, she has a sleep over with him soon. She will often come back from there with something new she loves (peas last time - she hated them before) because he had it, and tends to stick with it. Maybe this will be the same.

I'm not going to push it though. I think we'll talk about it a bit without making a deal out of it and allow her to decide in her own time. She sleeps really well and I don't want to destroy that.

OP posts:

Aprilmightmemynewname · 29/03/2018 20:39

Ooo being a big sis may be all she needs to decide herself!!

Steeley113 · 29/03/2018 20:43

My eldest was a nightmare for his dummy, I tried so many times and he always broke me down! Then his baby brother came along and a week later he told me dummies are for babies and put it in the bin. That was that! There are worse things in life then a dummy a bedtime.

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