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5 replies

faye500 · 26/03/2018 19:22

this is quite morbid and extreme so please bare with me and is also my first post as I need advice.

so I was sexually abused by my stepdad when I was younger. basically I told my mom at 15 and she said one day you are going to grow up and leave me and he's not and they got married and I moved out at 15. We had a turbulent relationship after that but I loved her and I had a son and I told her she would not take my child round that monster and she divorced him and now he's out of my life for good. Until... 3 years later since she divorced him I met an amazing man and moved away from the west Midlands to the East. I plucked up the courage to close that chapter and report him to the police even though it is 16 years on. I have done my interview etc however when I told my mom I reported him we fell out and no longer talk. Apparently I'm selfish etc.
we have not spoken since October and now they have interviewed her I found out she said she knew nothing about it and I had never told her and it's broken my heart. It's making the case harder for me and I can't believe a mother could do that to a child.
I will never ever talk to her again but my child still sees her on weekends and she is good to him.
she's dead to me now but how do I grieve. I'm a mess and alot is getting on top of me. my family are my partner and my son now and that is all I have. I have no friends because of moving. I'm having councilling but I'm struggling with this issue. Any ideas suggestions. My partner suggests cutting her out of my son's life to completely get rid of her but isn't this unfair to my son?

OP posts:
Baubletrouble43 · 26/03/2018 19:39

Couldn't read and run. I think you're incredibly brave and you deserved better treatment from your mother. I'm inclined to agree with your partner. Your mother has let you down in the worst way. Your son will get over it. Frankly I think he deserves better for a grandma anyway. You need to keep strong and I believe your mum's presence in your sons life may hinder this. Good luck to you. You have been through a lot x

faye500 · 26/03/2018 19:52

Thank you. It really means a lot for your comment. I will take all comments on board but thank you so much for taking the time to comment. xx

OP posts:
Makingworkwork · 26/03/2018 20:00

I am sorry that you have gone through this. You are very brave to report this. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be.

I suspect your Mum will never admit she knew about it as then she will have to admit to others that she failed to keep you safe and she put herself first.

faye500 · 26/03/2018 21:13

Thank you for commenting. I also believe what you are saying that it's a selfish act to cover how people see her. She does care how everybody else sees her rather than doing the right thing

OP posts:
Makingworkwork · 26/03/2018 21:17

I think she must have been selfish to put you in that position. She may have convinced herself that it is not true.

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