Do you have fears about your children growing up?

[nerofire63]

I was thinking about it today and I feel like there is a lot more going on today then there was when I was growing up. I have fears that my children will miss out. Mind you, I am not even pregnant with my first and I am thinking like this!

As a current parent, do you have fears dealing with your child growing up?

I am scared about the extra danger the Internet has introduced, as well as everything else that was an issue for my parents when I grew up!

I am concerned that even if I do a brilliant job of child proofing my child's Internet access, all it takes is one of her friends having unrestricted access for her to be exposed to adult content.

I am worried about cyber bullying and the insidious pressure from social media to be popular and pretty. And that's without getting as far as grooming.

I'm concerned about the teenage boys she grows up with being completely used to pork, and them expecting porn style love lives.

In short, yes, there's load I'm concerned about!

I did, until I had children. Then I understood that you don't deal with everything all at once. Until then worries about, oh, cot death, immunisations, sex ed, drugs, grooming, etc all seemed just as important. I didn't realise that, for most things, you work your way towards them, and deal with each aspect in an age-appropriate way.

Yeah, I'm probably more worried now than I was 20y ago. There are things going on now that hadn't it even occurred to me to be worried about 20y ago, pre-dc.

It's very difficult to try to protect your child from every single perceived danger. You have, instead, to provide your child with a powerful toolkit for them to protect themselves against whatever comes. Future-proof them with life-skills such as resilience, self-confidence and critical thinking. Develop a good relationship with them to ensure that they can trust you.

The worries are always there, but they change, and how you deal with them changes.

Yes I worry about bullying in the future it’s a different ball game now. Also the way teenage girls are treated these days ‘sexting’ etc I think it will be equally important for me to teach my dd as well as my ds- I really worry about the expectations these days.
Also that they will do ok at school and be able to get the job they want it’s a difficult balance but I don’t think was supported or pushed anywhere near effort and my gsce results show that I went into to higher education as an adult but wish I’d experienced it at the same time as my peers.

No. There have always been social bogeymen to keep people in line. Worries about the internet are the modern day equivalent of here be dragons on old maps.

We have taught ours self belief, emotional intelligence and how to interrogate information before accepting it at face value. It is now a great joy to watch them develop into amazing human beings who don't limit themselves by saddling their actions with other people's fears.

I have sleepless nights thinking about my girls' future. They're only 1.5 and 3.5 but the thought of their future terrifies me. Bullying, girl bitchiness, smoking, sex, grooming and even the inevitable heart breaks and boyfriends.

Life is very different when you become a parent and in hindsight i don't know if I'm strong enough for this, but I'm in the game now and the best I can do is be th best mum I can for them.

I have the odd worry but i don't obsess over it. DS is 6yo.

I'm scared for my DS living in London and although we live on the outskirts of it I'm still worried about knife crime that just seems to get worse every year. I worry that my son especially being a black boy will end up being a victim or be exposed to it no matter what I do. My DP was stabbed when he was younger and so were many of his family and friends where he grew up in south London even I lost a good friend to knife crime it's just so common now. He's only 8mo but every time they show another young life lost on the news I hope that it won't ever be my boy on there.

I worry about the teenage years - DD is not yet two!!! - for all the usual reasons but also because she's adopted and that throws up all sorts of stuff in adolescence. I hate that I worry so much because I don't want to waste this lovely time worrying about bad things that might never happen.

No, to be honest I don’t.

Dd is 17yo and I know I’ve done a good job of bringing her up.....or maybe I’ve been lucky. But she is good and kind and most importantly doesn’t put up with any shit. I’m positive that yes although she may have ups and downs like anyone does but overall I think she’s prepared to deal with life. I’m excited for her.