Aibu to give a wide birth at class. Toddler running riot at baby group

[Juniper33]

I go to a baby group each week, most people seem lovely, my baby is 10 months, there is a Mum with 2 1/2 year old and he runs riot - running around screaming, taking other kids toys, switching electrical points on and off, getting items out for later in the session, going through course leaders bag!
A couple of weeks he stood on another baby's leg whilst running riot, and all of this his mother doesn't say anything! Even when baby got stood on! The course leader has to direct the toddler, no don't do this, that etc as the mother just sits and gossips.
Is this just how it is or should I find a better/ safer class to attend!

Bring it up with the course leader, if nothing changes then find another class. That's not normal in any classes or groups that I've been to, they have age ranges so there shouldn't be any walkers in a baby class usually (unless a super early walker, then they're allowed as they don't move very fast).

We have mixed baby groups near mine so the ages is from 3 months to 3yrs. A lot of the older ones do run riot, I don’t mind that it’s the ones that get in my 16 month olds face as he hates people in his face. I went to one yesterday and (it was the group leaders kid) this child was in my sons face, pushing him around, smacked over the head and treated him like a dog saying go fetch with a ball so picked up my son and told the child to leave my son alone for a bit.

I try let my son just play and me watch from a distance so that he can be ready for nursery next year when I have to leave him for three hours but it gets hard when there is kids in the group like that.

I’d put a complaint in with the group leader and get other mums to as well

It depends a little bit on what kind of group it is, although hurting other kids is obviously never ok and the mum should’ve apologised and then kept a closer eye on her toddler.

If it’s a structured activity class (like some musical class) then I’d say this sort of behaviour is totally out of order; if it’s just a general baby & toddler group with lots of toys where mums go to have a coffee and chat while the kids play then some level of running around is to be expected of the older ones. But if one of them hurt my child I would tell them off and make sure the mother heard it too!

I'd say this is common. I go to a mixed group from birth to five years and they all have free reign of two big rooms. There is always a few kids out of control but it's normally the ones that go with the childminders.

Ask if there can be a separate baby area for the non walkers. He can then be gently redirected from it if needs be.

To a certain extent though part of the benefit of mixed age 'free play' groups is that the bigger children get to learn to play with others and respond to boundaries put in place by other adults (be that play leaders or other parents) and the little ones get some stimulation from watching the older ones and learn to move and anticipate danger and spatial awareness.

I lost count of the times I said 'don't worry about it' through secretly gritted teeth when DD was one of the little ones and was getting fingers and legs stood on. Now she is a stompy toddler herself and I remind myself that just because I know she doesn't mean to be rough and/or she just wants to pat the baby that her size 4.5 feet and chubby toddler fingers probably look massive and scary to the mums with little babies.

One of the mums actually swatted DD quite hard today when she put her hand out to touch her baby. I just pretended not to notice because I think the other mum realised it was a bit of an OTT reaction and DD learnt for herself that you can't just go around looking like you are going to prod other children.

I must hasten to add that on the whole DD is pretty well behaved and as far as I know has never actually hurt another child. But she's a normal 14 month old who doesn't understand the concept of looking at where she is going when she is running across the room.

I have a similar problem and I’m looking for another group. The philosophy of our group is that the kids are the responsibility of the parent or childminder who brings them. The leader just facilitates. My one year old has been hit, pushed, had toys snatched from her and this week one boy rode into her on one of those little ride on toys and hurt her. His mum just told him to be more careful and carried on chatting and playing with her littler one. The other times the responsible adult conveniently didn’t see what happened. The leader says she can’t do anything because the kids aren’t her responsibility. I’d speak to the leader in your case to see what their policy is.

To a certain extent though Xansaf that is just normal toddler behaviour and you are likely to find similar at any toddler group.

The mum told him to be more careful, she didn't ignore it. Did you want him publicly smacked or something for doing something he probably didn't mean to do maliciously?

I understand It's not nice when it's your child getting hurt but at the same time you also have to remember that they still are all just small children and most of the time aren't meaning to hurt each other.

I'm grateful I go to a group where most (all?) of the parents get that their child is just as likely to be the snatcher on the next occasion it happens and we all generally keep an eye out and exercise gentle discipline when incidents happen. It seems to work well. It takes a village and all that...

Oh well excuse ME but if my child had deliberately hurt a much smaller child I would be pretty mortified and whilst I would not have smacked her I would have made her get off that toy because she wasn’t using it appropriately. I wouldn’t have apathetically sat by allowing it to happen again. Which it did but for me putting my arm out to shield DD several times.