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Original poster

Am I being unreasonable? Long rant...

15 replies

Emilyyyy · 20/03/2018 02:06

This will probably be the most pointless rant ever but it's really getting to me and upsetting me so I would like everyone else's opinions please...

My lo is nearly 14 months and loves cows milk it's his favourite. However my MIL keeps adding strawberry milkshake powder to it when she has him (which can be several times a week), I'm not thrilled about this. I haven't spoken to her about it but did mention it to my OH who thinks I'm being totally unreasonable and that it's totally fine.

Now, I'm not against my LO having treats after his dinner etc... he's partial to a few chocolate fingers when we have them in or abit of meringue and cream etc... but that's a treat. I don't like the idea that something that is good for him and that he enjoys, is pointlessly being loaded with sugar.

A glass of strawberry milkshake is the same as a full bag of Maltesers and I just feel that it's ridiculous that I'm being made to feel in the wrong for thinking that it's unnecessary. We have the same argument about putting honey in his breakfast which he enjoys without adding anything. Apparently I'm being unreasonable about that aswell.

I'm not against him having sugar and this rant is not even against my MIL it's against my OH who thinks I'm being ridiculous and that I'm "terrified" of letting him try sweet things, which I don't feel I am because he enjoys his pudding when he eats his dinner, I just think sweetening stuff up he already enjoys on their own is just stupid. I know it won't do him any harm but my point is If something is not broke, why fix it!? Even if there was only a bit of powder being put in there is just no need, there is enough sugar in everything we eat these days.

I just feel like I'm trying to do right by my son and being made to feel like I'm the bad one.Sad

What are everyone else's thoughts?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Frustratedboarder · 20/03/2018 02:10

Knock it on the head now or I guarantee it'll get to the stage where he'll start to refuse the plain milk - take it from me, it happened to mine...

Just tell her straight he doesn't need any Added sugar in his diet and to cut it out... Maybe tell her the dentist advised it?!

ArnoldBee · 20/03/2018 02:15

Well.its not just about the milkshake is it? When my lo is cared for by my parents I trust them.to get in with job and I don't have any specific things I insist on. Here you want your requests to be followed therefore you mil.should respect your wishes or you find alternative childcare.

Arapaima · 20/03/2018 02:43

I agree with you OP, and I would be really cross if my parents or PILs did this. It’s just so unnecessary. Time to seek alternative childcare?

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catlady45 · 20/03/2018 02:50

Yip i agree with you op. Im stressed out about this thing alread and my lo is only 6 months old. My mum seems to constantly joke about it being the grandparents role to give them stuff they're not suppossed to. Ive already fallen out with her saying that if she cant be trusted to do as i do then i won be using her to babysit...

Original poster
Emilyyyy · 20/03/2018 02:52

Thanks everyone. Tbh I don't think my MIL is being malicious by doing it I am more upset about my other halfs reaction and the way he is making me feel like I'm over reacting. It would just be nice to have my OH support when approaching my MIL about it.

OP posts:
Falmer · 20/03/2018 03:23

Totally agree with you on this, OP. I like the pp idea of saying the dentist advised against it. Adding honey and milkshake flavours to sweeten children's drinks and meals is old fashioned and nowadays people usually know better. The only thing I can think of is to actually discuss it with the dentist at your next visit and make sure dp's with you. It's obvious the dentist will advise against it and maybe dp will listen more to them?

Nightshiftmad · 20/03/2018 03:35

I had a similar discussion with my OH when my Dad did something my OH didn't like my first reaction was "oh I'm sure he didn't mean it" but as time past a little i thought this is my family now and i need to support my OH. I hope in time your OH will back you because this is his family now. Sometimes that takes some getting used too. Good luck hope it all works out.

KimmySchmidt1 · 20/03/2018 06:36

U r not b u - grandparents shutkdnt do childcare if you can’t have a sensible discussion with them about how they do things.
That shit us loaded with sugar and colourings and flavourings, it really is awful.

Just tell her you’ve been told by the dentist he has to cut back on sugar and those milkshakes she gives him have loads of sugar so they have to go.

KimmySchmidt1 · 20/03/2018 06:37

Ha ha I see some other conniving bugger thought of the dentist rude before me!

Falmer · 20/03/2018 09:43

Kimmy, the main problem is OP's dp who sees nothing wrong in it. Not only supporting dgm instead of op but needs educating about the effect of sugar on childrens teeth. That's why I suggested upthread that op should actually go with dp on next dentist visit, (or vice versa) maybe he'll listen to the dentist?

Original poster
Emilyyyy · 20/03/2018 12:39

Thanks everyone. Feel better now it's not just me being mean

OP posts:
Falmer · 20/03/2018 13:25

Emilyyyy, glad you're feeling better. It's good to hear other opinions, isn't it? No, you're not being at all mean.You're being a good mum and trying to ensure healthy gums/teeth and physical health for ds. Good luck Brew

Falmer · 20/03/2018 13:27

you're being* a good mum

BellyBean · 20/03/2018 13:49

DD is 4 and she still has Greek yoghurt and berries rather than sweetened yoghurt pots, no added sugar cereal etc, it's just common sense.

She's allowed chocolate and sweets sometimes, but not every day.

I have a very sweet tooth and don't want her to inherit this.

Caterina99 · 20/03/2018 19:08

OP you are definitely being sensible here. I feel the same way and I am not obsessed with my DS diet at all. He’s 2.5 and he loves regular milk and water. He does get juice or milkshake occasionally at a party or something and thats fine, but I’d be very annoyed if he got it every day

It took me several weeks to wean DS back onto plain Greek yoghurt at 14 months after a week at pils and kids yoghurt every day. This trip I asked them just to buy plain and they didn’t mind at all. Obviously he can have a kids yoghurt, it’s just the having it daily in replace of a plainer item he happily eats that I have an issue with.

Maybe tell DH/mil that you don’t have an issue with him having it but you don’t want him to think it’s normal and then refuse the regular stuff as then that a huge pain for you. And not that I’m advocating giving them treats but she’s be better giving him a biscuit or chocolate or whatever then messing with his milk

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