Mum guilt

[silvergirl57]

I am really struggling with Mum guilt, I think unnecessarily.
I have a happy healthy baby, but I am constantly nagged with guilt - do I play with her enough, am I on my phone too much, is she eating the right things etc it's never ending. When she goes to bed in the evening I just end up going over the day in my head and thinking I should have done better.
This is my first child, is this normal?

I feel like this too OP.

You’re not alone, I do too but it’s getting easier (mine’s 13mo), but I think to some extent as mums we’re always going to feel guilty about something to some extent. The fact you’re giving yourself a hard time about it probably shows you’re doing a fantastic job as a Mum.

Always. I’m like this too.

I try to remind myself that for most of human history, babies have largely been plonked in a corner to get on with it, or wheeled about in a pram to do whatever needed to be done. They haven't been constantly played with or given attention, as parents were too busy working/doing housework/hunting for food.

I think there's just a lot more pressure now to do it "right".

The pressure to be the perfect parent is a nonsense. Love your child, talk to your child and feed them proper food at least two meals a day. They will thrive.

Glad I'm not the only one. I feel like I just want to be the best mum I can for her, and that I'm constantly falling short, that she deserves better.
My husband keeps telling me I'm talking crap and I'm a brilliant mum, but it's hard to see sometimes!

I feel like I just want to be the best mum I can for her
That is what makes you a great mum OP. I also get this with my 9mo. We don't always get everything right, but we love our children unconditionally & do the very best we can & really I don't think anyone can ask for more than that. Give yourself a break

Normal in my world.
I find the best tactic is to find something you've "failed at" early on, then you can get over the guilt and get on with the day /weekend /party /school term etc.

Your husband sounds lovely.

Mine unhelpfully agrees with me most the time. I suspect it's because he's not really listening to what I've said, but it ratchets up the guilt!

I agree with the other posters. When I had my first baby I used to worry a lot and once found myself looking at the book Peepo where the baby sits and watches while everyone does their chores. I realised that this used to be the norm and it helped me cut myself some slack!