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Original poster

That well trodden path... bottle refusal

26 replies

throwcushions · 18/03/2018 19:34

Hi all, I know this subject probably gets done to death but I am getting a bit desperate. 6 month old baby who absolutely refuses a bottle. In fact she refuses solids too. She'll take sips from a doidy cup but often spits it back out. Won't take a sippy cup.

I am going back to work in a month. I'll only be able to the 7am feed and then feeding between 8pm and 11pm, but she is usually asleep then. I can't feed between 11pm and 7am as I would just be too tired to do my job.

We have tried everything to get her to take a bottle it feels like. Countless different bottles. Different sterilisation methods. Out of the house, at home, me giving it, DH giving it, someone else giving it, different times of the day, bedtime, etc etc. Can anyone offer some different advice or success stories? The only option that seems left is me leaving the house for longer and longer periods. But what if she literally starves herself for hours? I just don't know what to do. DH will be at home when I go back so that is something but I'm seriously worried she might not really eat or drink for 12 hours when I'm away and then will be all up night crying for breast milk when I can't give it to her anyway

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

JiltedJohnsJulie · 19/03/2018 21:23

I’d give one of the Bfing Helplines a call in the morning as a BFC should be able to offer some support with this. Have you had a look in the MN archive too. There should be lots of old threads on bottle refusal. I probably started a few when my DC were little

NannyRosie123 · 21/03/2018 14:33

Hi, I'm a Maternity Nurse that specialises in bottle refusal. I would be happy to give you some tips

rubyroot · 21/03/2018 17:29

Lets have some tips then nannyrosie as Im returning to walk in 2 1/2 months and my 2 1/2 month is too rejecting bottle.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3-6 months old 6-9 months old Babies & sleep Families

NannyRosie123 · 21/03/2018 18:06

Each child is an individual and therefor it is not one method for all. If you message me your number Rubyroot I would be happy to give you some tips

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/03/2018 18:20

Nanny if you’re not prepared to share your methods you shouldn’t really be posting. Sounds like you’re a bit desperate for business to me.

NannyRosie123 · 21/03/2018 18:26

Jilted it is not a one size fits all, if it was people wouldn't be having this problem. I need to find out what people have tried before, the type of baby, any allergies and so on, I am not desperate for business. I am offering to give free advice to people who need it.

TheMogget · 21/03/2018 18:43

My DD was a total refuser at home too. She was really hit and miss at nursery at first but then we tried a sippy cup rather than a bottle (that I had actually bought for water) and she took to it straight away.

What will your childcare arrangements be, it may be if it's a new environment she doesn't associate with you that helps. I also worked in given her baby porridge with Formula so that at least I knew she'd reliably have that.

Original poster

throwcushions · 21/03/2018 19:11

Nanny have sent you a PM. Should have added no known allergies and she is otherwise a very easy baby though she has a bit of separation anxiety/ teething trouble right now. The bottle refusal long precedes both of those issues though.

Mogget what kind of sippy was it and how old was baby? We've tried the Tommee tippee with a valve but she didn't really know what to do with it. I have tried milk in a munchkin 360 cup, doidy cup and the tommee tippee sippy (with and without a valve). She will take a little from the doidy but that's all. She is only 6 months though.

OP posts:

TheMogget · 21/03/2018 19:34

@throwcushions it was a Nuby Sip n Grip (see pic). My DD was 6m too.

Hope you get her sorted!

That well trodden path... bottle refusal

TheMogget · 21/03/2018 19:36

I tried it with Water first but when she took to it I just sent it to nursery and asked them to give it a go...

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/03/2018 22:08

Nanny erm I understand it’s not a “once size fits all” as I’ve actally had babies. If you need to know more info, just ask on here. That’s how MN works.

NannyRosie123 · 21/03/2018 22:38

Jilted you assume I haven't had babies how small minded of you

JiltedJohnsJulie · 21/03/2018 22:44

Nanny another MN thing is to quote back and then criticise. If you could quote back the bit where I say you haven’t had kids, that would really help.

NannyRosie123 · 21/03/2018 22:48

Jilted - Life is too short

Seahawk80 · 22/03/2018 05:04

I really feel for you. DS was the same, would
not take any bottle. What worked for us in the end was sitting him up and letting him have distractions like TV on or things to look at. I kept trying loads of different bottles, in the end the mam bottles with a medium flow was the best option for him. Have you tried a faster flow teat? Also I tried replacing different feeds and eventually settled on after his morning nap as he was hungry but there was no pressure on that feed (unlike say bedtime when you are desperate for them to take a bottle). Also the only solids he would eat until 8.5 months were the smooth pouches that are mainly fruit based and yogurt. He would taste the odd finger food but most went on the floor and anything else
On a spoon was rejected. I just went with it and made sure he had one pouch a day and gave him yogurt for breakfast and kept trying finger food. Things suddenly changed and now he eats loads of finger food, still won't take anything else off a spoon! I'm trying to teach him to hold his own bottle as I think he likes to be independent.

Keep trying and try lots of things and something will work!

Faintlinesquints · 22/03/2018 05:24

I really feel for you, I had this terribly with dd3, many moons ago.
She reached 8.5 months and completely refused to take anything whatsoever, I tried so many different bottles/cups/spoons(yup) different liquids at different temps (mine, different formula, water, baby juice) and different people trying too.

In the end my mum, bless her, took dd from me for a night. I was only round the corner with my phone glued to me, but I was desperate as starting work in 2 weeks. I spent that night worried sick, couldn't sleep at all. I think my mum downplayed how hard it was tbh. I fed dd before she went in the evening, my mum said she fussed and didn't feed before going to sleep. She woke up early hours and actually took a bottle! I don't know if it was a mixture of being half asleep still, really hungry, a different environment or not being able to smell me. She didn't feed perfectly, spat a bit out and fussed a little but iirc she took around 5oz. She fell back asleep and in the morning she took another bottle with no fussing. My mum sent me many messages and videos to reassure me, I don't think she slept that night either! Dd was premature so not on solids yet either.

I know this was an extreme method and certainly not for everyone. I may have the pp above recoiling at this advice, so definitely research yourself and decide if it's for you or if it's even possible or have someone willing to do that for you.

Sadly, if I'm being honest this did affect dds breastfeeding, but I was trying to encourage more bottles when she was home too so that I could work without worrying. We carried on feeding at night for a few weeks and then that stopped too.

Have you tried the minbie bottles? They've got quite rave reviews online and meant to be very similar to breast feeding. If your DC is anything like mine though they probably won't take to that either. If my dd hadn't finally relented, I'd actually looked into getting a wet nurse for her. I know this is probably quite controversial and definitely not for everyone, but perhaps something to think about if you haven't considered it already.

Good luck!

Faintlinesquints · 22/03/2018 05:25

Forgot to add the bottle dd finally took was a cheap and cheerful Asda one with a fast flow teat.

BarbarianMum · 22/03/2018 08:20

Don't worry about it.

I had exactly this with ds1 when I went back to work. The first few days he hardly ate all day (maybe an oz) but fed like a demon when I got home (he wasn't keen on solids either which didn't help). Then after 4 days or so it just clicked, he drank his bottles and we were off. After a few weeks he'd even accept a bottle from me.

The first few days will be a bit nerve-wracking but she will get there and it'll be fine. And horrible as it sounds, at 7 months it won't hurt her to not feed during the day for a few days - if she was ill she might be off food totally for such a period so they are built to withstand it.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 22/03/2018 09:28

Jilted - Life is too short. Too short for giving your advice free on MN? How much do you charge for your services? I’m not sure exactly what qualifications a maternity nurse has. Can you enlighten me on that too please?

rubyroot · 22/03/2018 14:23

NannyRosie would love your advice, but dont feel comfortable giving out my number...

Today I tried to feed with a bottle again, my boyfriend has also tried. He looks and sounds like he's sucking, he is trying- bless him.

I leave it for a bit thinking he's taken the milk, lift the bottle back to check and he's taken NOTHING.

I tried to suck some water out of the bottle yesterday, seemed quite hard to me and I'm not a bad sucker

I think he may need a faster flowing teat. I'm just so scared of leaving my 5 month with nothing when I go to work- surely thats too young? Won't he be dehydrated if I leave him the whole day by the time I return?

Faintlinesquints- glad to see it can be done. I could perhaps do it the other way around- leave him with my boyfriend and stay with my mother. Not so sure he would remain as calm as your Mum did- what a good Mum.

BarbarianMum · 22/03/2018 16:18

ruby there's a big difference between a child who can't manage a bottle and one who refuses one. He does need to be able to get to the milk, so yes try other bottles/teats. Something else you could try is cup feeding (google it) - they literally sip from a cup held by an adult (rather than a sippy cup).

Original poster

throwcushions · 22/03/2018 16:48

Faintline and Barbarian - thank you! These stories give me hope. My husband will be at home with her for six months when I go back so at least he is on board with a gradual retreat method. We'll have to start having me leave for longer and longer periods. We're currently using a mam medium flow. She'll take 1oz in about 30 seconds but then refuses any more. So she definitely can drink from it.

OP posts:

Original poster

throwcushions · 22/03/2018 16:50

Oh and yes we did try a Minbie. I was so hopeful but she wouldn't take anything from it at all.

OP posts:

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/03/2018 17:16

Needing the answers to this one myself-my DD used to take two bottles a day and now, two weeks before I’m back at work, she completely refuses. SHe will take a bottle with water but not milk- it’s the milk that is now the issue- tried in a sippy cup too. I will try another brand but she always used to take this one. Help me!

fannythrobbing · 22/03/2018 17:27

I had an avid bottle refuser. I had to go back to work when she was 5.5 months old and my partner took time off with her for a couple of months before she went to nursery. She made the lost feeds up overnight which was hellish for me working full time and feeding 3-4 times a night or more.
Someone recommended NUK latex teats. I had tried everything else - sippy cup, doidy cup, just about every bottle and teat I could find so I bought one and she took 4oz from it on the first go). She consistently took milk (preferred formula over my expressed milk though) and went from strength to strength, now she takes any milk from any source!
Definitely worth giving it a go. We offered one feed out of the bottle consistently so she knew what to expect and I breast fed the rest of the time.

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