DP not pulling his weight

[NameChange1000000]

I am so fed up of my partner not pulling his weight. Complains of having no money but will happily go to the pub every day and several hours over the weekend.

I have little help with our DC. He's not hands on as in won't get down on the floor and play, doesn't help with bath or bed time, doesn't consider what DC may need for meals or cook, doesn't help with the mundane stuff of tidying DCs room, washing and ironing. Basically, I am a single mum!

Today I gave the ultimatum that he steps up or we go. I am not holding my breath, however in the meantime I plan to get my finances in order.

Anyone else been in a similar situation? It has been like this for years. I've always hoped for change and it has changed for a few weeks then ultimately back to square one. I know now that this will be my life forever unless I take steps to change my separating. It's my fault for putting up with it for so long. I cannot allow this for our son any longer. He's only 5 and deserves more.

I don't want him growing up and seeing a stressed out, sad mum all the time. I need a few months to get finances and something else in place but need to remain strong so that I finally take that step and move forward.

I don't know what I expect in terms of a reply, I just needed to get this off my chest.

Not in this situation now but have been in the past with my DS’s dad, my ex. Best thing I ever did was to do it alone. It was daunting but it was the best thing I ever did for me and DS!

I wish you the best of luck!

I was meant to write I wish you the best of luck whatever you decide to do.

It sounds like he has all his priorities wrong and personally I don’t think men change. My ex was similar on the pub drinking thing to. Used To spend an insane amount of drink each week and we had bugger all spare!

Namechange, that was me 6 years ago. My DP didn't help with anything. In fact as soon as I ceased to dress in work clothes, he started treating me like a skivvy.
The funny thing was, when I left, it didn't make much difference in terms of workload because my ex had never done anything anyway.
I returned to work, rented a one bed flat while I sorted my finances and ds who was 3, went to a lovely childminder, about a mile from the office.

If anything life was easier because I wasn't expected to cook for him.
The only stress points were getting my hair cut every six weeks or if I was ill - he refused to help because "I'd made my bed".
I bought a house, returned to single life, ds went to school and suddenly I was desirable again.

Good luck, you are doing the right thing. You don't want your ds growing up thinking it's ok to treat a wife/girlfriend like that.